This is why I'm a twat

Former Member · April 2007

I guess my previous post didn't really hit the nail on the head. I was going on about little irrelevant stuff but really whats going on with me is that I was sexually abused when I was younger by my cousin. I didn't tell anyone and have kept it to myself for seven years.

But after meeting and being rejected by Tom I just feel like no male will ever truly love me because I always end up offering them sex. I can't help it but I feel like they will lose interest otherwise. I know this is because of my past abuse.

I told Tom when i finished things but he was less than helpful. I just keep hanging on to him because he was the only person I told and I despereately needed someone to talk to. I really wanted to kill myself around xmas and new years because I couldn't take the pain anymore. I hate what happened to me. It's disgusting. I did eventually tell my sister because I was drawing too much attention to myself crying around the house infront of evryone. She has been there for me but I think I need some affection from a male. I have no brothers and am not close to my dad or uncles. My male friend is always trying to have sex with me which upsets me.

I guess I just wanted to explain things to all those who read my previous post so you don't think I'm some stupid twat. I'm just hurting thats all and have no friends to turn to. (except my sister who I think thinks I have recovered which I sooo have not)

Former Member · April 2007

Have sent u a PM

Former Member · April 2007

Firstly {hugs}, it sounds as though things have really sucked for you in the past but hopefully finding this website was the start of a new era.
It might help you to be able to speak with someone who has experience dealing with problems such as yours, maybe the samaritans? (not sure of their number but I'm sure somebody else from here will be able to help with that soon enough)
I'd like to be able to give more advice but I've never really had any experience with this kind of situation before, what i do know though is anyone who calls themself a friend should not be trying to have sex with you.

Former Member · April 2007

Aww hon, being sexually abused as a child is a very tough thing to come to terms with and I'm glad that you've told your sister and you feel that you can come here for support and advice. Took a lot of guts to do that *hugs*. Like icey suggested, I think you might benefit from speaking to someone who deals with cases like yours and can fully understand your situation and what you've been through, and offer sound advice on how you can put your experience behind you.
Here's an article Coming to terms with some links that might be of help to you, if you don't feel that you could talk to someone over the phone then you can always email the Samaritans, their email address is included.

Concerning your friend, he is definitely not being a friend if he is trying to force you into having sex with him. Have you told him that you are uncomfortable with his behaviour, maybe you need to be firmer with him? And if he still tries to force you into having sex with him maybe it would be best to walk away.
I really hope you can move on from this and be able to build strong, meaningful relationships with men in the future.
Remember hon, no man should make you feel that you have to give them what they want in order for you to maintain a relationship with them, no one is worth you sacrificing your self respect. You're definitely worth more than that.
Good luck, take care and let us know how things go.
Lucy
xx

This is why I'm a twat

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