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Am i been too sensitive

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My b/f told me last night my body wasn't nice, at first i thought he was messing but then he didnt say anything else and i was too upset to say anything to him but i wouldnt let him near me all night, im a size 10- 12 and after a lazy winter could maybe do with losing a few Ibs and toning up for the summer.. He's always liked my body before so i dont now whats changed to make him say something so hurtful, Am i just been oversensitive??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cari wrote: »
    My b/f told me last night my body wasn't nice, at first i thought he was messing but then he didnt say anything else and i was too upset to say anything to him but i wouldnt let him near me all night, im a size 10- 12 and after a lazy winter could maybe do with losing a few Ibs and toning up for the summer.. He's always liked my body before so i dont now whats changed to make him say something so hurtful, Am i just been oversensitive??

    No I don't think you are. Have you asked him what he meant by it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think you're being oversensitive; howww rude of him :impissed: After winter I don't think anyone is feeling particularly fit and toned, all ready for summer. How did he phrase it, what were you talking about before? I think I'd be concerned with what has made his attitude change, since you said that before he always did like your body.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No you aren't being oversensitive, he was very insensitive and should know better than that. How would he feel if you said the same to him - "your body isn't nice"? Or similar.

    As you've said, you're aware of your own body and that maybe you could do with toning up etc. He could do with some beginner's lessons in tact. Maybe he can take an evening class in it while you go swimming or something...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Luce wrote: »
    I don't think you're being oversensitive; howww rude of him :impissed: After winter I don't think anyone is feeling particularly fit and toned, all ready for summer. How did he phrase it, what were you talking about before? I think I'd be concerned with what has made his attitude change, since you said that before he always did like your body.

    i just said my body was nice and clean after my shower, and he said back to me it might be clean but its not Nice, so i said to him you think my body's not nice and he said yes thats what i said...

    i haven't said anything to him yet because i was to upset yesterday but im gona say it when he comes home from work today, he's upset me so much im considering finishing with him cos if he doesnt like my body how can i feel comfortable sleeping with him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cari wrote: »
    i just said my body was nice and clean after my shower, and he said back to me it might be clean but its not Nice, so i said to him you think my body's not nice and he said yes thats what i said...

    That's totally out of order, you are definitely not being over sensitive, he's quite plainly being rude.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cari wrote: »
    i just said my body was nice and clean after my shower, and he said back to me it might be clean but its not Nice, so i said to him you think my body's not nice and he said yes thats what i said...

    i haven't said anything to him yet because i was to upset yesterday but im gona say it when he comes home from work today, he's upset me so much im considering finishing with him cos if he doesnt like my body how can i feel comfortable sleeping with him.

    That's terrible!! Really mean of him to say something like that....I'd be upset too, don't think you're being oversensitive at all! Especially as he said it in such a blunt way....sounds like something might be going on with him, to be honest.....and you're right, if you can't feel comfortable with him, and you continue feeling uncomfortable with him, then that's a decent basis for finishing it...but might be worth talking to him about it first.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know i didnt sleep for half the night cos i couldnt get it out of my head, and to make it worse i had just came home and told him i was feeling shit cos i have to have an operation on my heart and an hour later he says this, talk about making me feel even worse than i did already..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cari wrote: »
    I know i didnt sleep for half the night cos i couldnt get it out of my head, and to make it worse i had just came home and told him i was feeling shit cos i have to have an operation on my heart and an hour later he says this, talk about making me feel even worse than i did already..

    He doesn't sound very caring AT ALL.....how long have you been with him, if you don't mind me asking?

    Ooo...also...interestingly (and not saying this IS your situation, but sounds similar), when I was with my ex, I had started getting slightly derogatory comments from him, but sort of just shrugged them off, and then when I broke my wrist, he was completely unsupportive....for instance, I had to have an op on my wrist at the hospital near him, and would have been to weak and it would have been too hard to make the journey back to mine afterwards.....he didn't even offer for me to stay!!

    It took my best friend (who was house sharing with him) to offer...:rolleyes:

    He got less and less supportive, and finally dumped me.....which I could have done without to be honest! :rolleyes: If you're going through problems with your heart, and having to have operations, you need people around you who are supportive..extra stress won't help you at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You definitely have to say something to him; ask him to explain what he meant by such a comment last night, and ask if he realised just how upset it made you feel afterwards? Good luck with it xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry, I'm going to be really blunt, but from all your posts about this relationship your bf sounds like a complete nob, it certainly sounds like he's lost interest in your relationship and this latest episode is just another symptom of that. I don't think you're really facing the facts. Let's have a look at them shall we?
    • He cheated on you with his ex.
    • On YOUR sofa!
    • Then he lied about it.
    • When you found out he wasn't sorry, he was ANNOYED that his ex told you!
    • Since then you fight all the time.
    • He actually suggested you should go back to just being fuck buddies.
    • When you told him you might leave he laughed at you.
    • He's off to Amsterdam and doesn't CARE that you feel insecure about it and refuses to talk to you and put your mind at rest, or make any promises.
    • Now he's told you that your body is "not nice", even though you're only a size 10 - 12.

    What do you think about that, all there in black and white? What would you say if that was your friend's bf, or your sister's?

    Is he trying to push you out of the relationship instead of ending it like any decent bloke would do?

    I know your mum has said you can't go and live with her, and I also know he's said you'll lose everything if you leave, but if the flat is in both your names then you won't. I think you ought to get some legal advice, because it seems like you're just clinging onto this relationship because you think there's no way out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What Miffy said.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    What Miffy said.

    Seconded.

    He sounds like a bit of a dick, to be fair.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well said Miffy.

    The guy is a complete cunt, why you are still with him is beyond me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh no - all that stuff is one bloke?? I remember those posts, but didn't put 2+2 together and come up with you, Cari....in that case, completely agree with Miffy...don't talk, just get out of there...he's doing you waaay more harm than good, and why you're even questioning this is beyond me!

    Good luck though...I know it's hard...:thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I read your post I was absolutely appalled that your boyfriend spoke to you like that and when I read down further I saw what Miffy wrote about how he has been treating you lately I couldn't believe my eyes! This guy sounds like he is doing absolutely nothing good for you what so ever and I think the only sensible thing to do is to get out of that relationship before he completely erodes your self confidence and trust in other people.

    Noone deserves to be treated like this and I think the suggestion about getting some financial advice is a very wise move. If you leave him now you certainly won't be losing everything, I personally think you will be gaining a whole new world of happiness.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    Well said Miffy.

    The guy is a complete cunt, why you are still with him is beyond me!

    Couldn't agree more. Both Miff and Yera speak the truth.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be with a guy like him. It completely wrecked my self esteem. Don't let him do the same to you. You deserve better. Dump him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like a right head fuck. Get rid of him now!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all your comments everyone!! I tried talking to him and he just blamed me and turned it all around making out i was in the wrong, but after reading miffys answer i was shocked with how stupid i've been, i finished with my b/f this morning and im now moving into the spare room to see how things go, but if we cant live in the same apartment together im now fully prepared to move out.

    Its taken me to long to see through him and what he's been trying to do by puting me down all the time, but now i've finally decided i've had enough.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good girl, well done on being strong.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done for finishing with him :thumb: sounded like a right jerk.

    *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he sounds quite like my bf tbh i know it hurts but my bf knows i wanna do somert about my body but dont let ur bf push u in to doin anything if ur happy with ur body
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ohmygod no not at all ! What did he exactly say ? Are you sure he ment it he could have just been trying to wind u up ..?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done! *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miffy wrote: »
    • He cheated on you with his ex.
    • On YOUR sofa!
    • Then he lied about it.
    • When you found out he wasn't sorry, he was ANNOYED that his ex told you!
    • Since then you fight all the time.
    • He actually suggested you should go back to just being fuck buddies.
    • When you told him you might leave he laughed at you.
    • He's off to Amsterdam and doesn't CARE that you feel insecure about it and refuses to talk to you and put your mind at rest, or make any promises.
    • Now he's told you that your body is "not nice", even though you're only a size 10 - 12.


    :eek: :crazyeyes

    Babe, dump the loser.


    BTW You aren't going out with MattLiverpool by any chance?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's harsh, MoK. I think you made the right choice here - I couldn't be with someone like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he's a fucking prat.
    you could do better...WAY better.
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