Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

What do you talk about? Shallow?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I had it suggested to me recently that I am shallow because I don't tend to talk about politics or 'important stuff' with my friends.

I went out with 2 friends last night and all we talked about was clothes, food, men, shopping and TV. When I was at college I had different friends and we had really deep conversations about all sorts of stuff, I felt inspired and full of ideas.

What do you talk about with your friends? I don't want to be a shallow person but don't think the friends I see the most of are really interested in suddenly beginning to have deep conversations!

If I meet my friend (probably the one I see the most of) in the pub, for instance, after catching up on what we've been up to, we often seem to run out of things to talk about. Just feel like my brain is not being stretched.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was the same last year on my placement year from uni. I went from being at uni surrounded by people who would have in depth conversations about everything to people who suddenly had nothing but desperate housewives and internet stuff to talk about. By the end of the year I was really miserable at the lifestyle I had, never felt pushed and it's been so refreshing coming back to uni this year. I don't think I'd class it as shallow though. More just different interests in life.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hardly ever have deep and meaningful convos with any of my mates. We mainly just catch up, reminisce, talk about sex/bf's etc, then just have a laugh. Occassionally we run out of things to say but i've always got a back up in my head to talk about!

    This is mainly because me and my friends don't know a lot about heavy things. We just wouldn't be able to hold a conversation on say politics cos we know nothing about it and it doesn't interest us.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends who I'm talking to. With quite a few of my friends, it's music & football. With friends on my course it's course related stuff.

    I will rarely talk politics with anyone.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can - and do - talk about the whole spectrum with any and all of my really good friends... from the utterly inane daft craic to really serious issues (personal, political, whatever). New friends I make these days generally become such good friends because I've had such diverse conversation with them and am eager to see them again as their blather is above par - so when I do see 'em again they've always got a lot to say.

    Of course I have random mates and accquaintances with whom I'd only be able to talk about very specific things we have in common or having that usual 'catch up' chatter, but to be honest I would only be seeing them now and again... so it'd be very rare that we'd run out of chit-chat and banter. If the people I considered my dearest friends and I could only talk about that stuff then I'd be a bit concerned, but interests diverge and people change I guess!

    Basically my best and longest-held friendships are with people on the same wavelength as me, people who have ample time for daftness and banter, getting wrecked and chatting random slimy cod shit but on balance don't think that discussing political and social issues down t'pub is snobbish or bourgeoisie as some people seem to (inverse snobbery if ever I heard it!) If I didn't get the chance to exercise my brain with my mates then I think I'd become unglued, they are as smart and interesting as it gets :thumb:

    Oh, I don't think it's shallow to talk about shopping, men, sex lives and all that. There's a place for amusing chat in every friendship and I'm sure a lot of people are happy just to natter about those things... it's just down to what you're interested in and what's on your mind at the time I suppose. Oh, and possibly how many bottles of wine you've had ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With the people I see most often, it's mainly stupid stuff like beer, girls and football and piss takes like "would you rather have a ball chopped off or be blind in one eye?"

    And just the latest stuff that's going on, I think me and a lot of my mates are at the age where things are coming together (career wise, relationship wise etc) and things are changing quite quickly so it's good to catch up.

    There's loads of people I know that I don't see much of now because I've moved about quite a bit these last few years, so it is mainly catching up I do when I do get the time to see them and have a chat with them. I've one or two mates that I'd speak to about feelings things and emotional stuff, but I think as long as you aren't on about yourself all the time or staring at boobs or men's packets then it's hardly shallow.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At home and in uni me and my mates just tend to joke constantly and think of funny wee sketches we can do, on the flip I can have in depth convos with them as well but I tend not to most of the time. Basically life is one big joke for me and my mates! :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont have any friends but if i did....shallow stuff would be all i talked about.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    C'mon, you don't have one friend? I find that very hard to believe.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    honest
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talking "shallow" is fine. I never talk about politics with mates it's usally what we've been up to, music, Tv, sport etc...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, shallow might be a hard word, and a bit tough to describe you, but if I am right in who I think you are, (if you had a name change), then you might graze a bit on superficiality (no hard feelings, just occured to me from reading your old posts. I am too at times).

    I don't talk about "politics" with my friends either, especially if we are out at night. Maybe from time to time, when something interesting or shocking was on the news. And not with all of my friends either. There is one I have deep conversation frequently, but I just can't be bothered with that all the time, especially if we are going out, like I said. So then it might be "superficial" things like technics, chicas, drinking, or whatever.

    I think the "inspiring" kind of conversation times are in the minority too, but who cares, they are here and they are welcome (and not just a front, "uuh, look we talk about politics!").
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    It depends who I'm talking to. With quite a few of my friends, it's music & football. With friends on my course it's course related stuff.

    I will rarely talk politics with anyone.

    Same here...when I'm out with the guys we talk about music, hockey, girls, and once in a blue moon something deep. When I'm around girls we talk about friends and life in general, but I keep away from most of the things I talk about around my guy friends.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The main subject I go in depth with mates about is football tactics and team selection. The last time I talked about politics was when my mate turned to me in a club and said, "Shit, I don't want to talk to her. Quick pretend we're having a conversation." and I quickly came up with "Erm, so what do you think about the Israel-Palestine conflict?" But then someone caught my eye, so I left hi to talk to the girl he didn't want to talk to (he ended up kissing her, hehe). The only other time used to be in uni if I happened to be round someone's flat and Question Time was on.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to talk serious aallll day at work, tax, VAT, employment, profit & loss.... when I see my friends I just chat about rubbish. That's what they're there for, to take your mind off things. If it wasn't for being able to talk about which celebrities are bumping uglies with my friends, I wouldn't have anything to de-stress me!
Sign In or Register to comment.