If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Ex Girlfriend/Bunny Boiler advice needed !
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,
I will try to go over as best as possible .Ive been with my husband 10 years now we have kids.He has a child to his ex that he has seen rarely .
His ex uses this child as a weapon .He pays money every month and always has though has no contact.She phones up being abusive etc.
He has seen his child 3 times in the whole 10 years ive been with him.
Anyway i have got sick and tired of her abuse so the last time it happened i phoned her to tell her to basically "Get a life".She has remarried yet tells her husband it's my hubby that phones her !
We have been out for meals and she has phoned etc never about his child usually to have a go at my hubby.She was never married to my husband and was with him for about a year but makes his life hell as it upsets him that he has a child he cant see.
We did go to court once to try for access but the cost was high and to be quite honest she made it so hard and it got to the point where we could not afford the court costs.
Anyway she was phoning my hubby up recently wanting £1000 of him bearing in mind he gives her £300 per month!I phoned her up and told her to stop harrasing us all the time using the child as an excuse.
If she has money problems to get a job.
For a couple of months its been quiet .............until yesterday , she's started again!She is now saying he can see his child ( which she has done numerous times over the years and never lets him and usually pesters for moneyand blackmailing! )
Anyway ive had enough - Any advice.Ive said to my hubby we should see a solicitor and get an Injunction against her and tell her husband what is going on regarding her pestering phonecalls.
With his daughter i said to my hubby to tell a solicitor what she is doing and state we will gladly have access to see his child but want nothing to do with her.Im fed up with her she is a complete bunny boiler.I feel so sorry for my husbands child in all this they are being used as a weapon.
Any advice on this situation ?
I will try to go over as best as possible .Ive been with my husband 10 years now we have kids.He has a child to his ex that he has seen rarely .
His ex uses this child as a weapon .He pays money every month and always has though has no contact.She phones up being abusive etc.
He has seen his child 3 times in the whole 10 years ive been with him.
Anyway i have got sick and tired of her abuse so the last time it happened i phoned her to tell her to basically "Get a life".She has remarried yet tells her husband it's my hubby that phones her !
We have been out for meals and she has phoned etc never about his child usually to have a go at my hubby.She was never married to my husband and was with him for about a year but makes his life hell as it upsets him that he has a child he cant see.
We did go to court once to try for access but the cost was high and to be quite honest she made it so hard and it got to the point where we could not afford the court costs.
Anyway she was phoning my hubby up recently wanting £1000 of him bearing in mind he gives her £300 per month!I phoned her up and told her to stop harrasing us all the time using the child as an excuse.
If she has money problems to get a job.
For a couple of months its been quiet .............until yesterday , she's started again!She is now saying he can see his child ( which she has done numerous times over the years and never lets him and usually pesters for moneyand blackmailing! )
Anyway ive had enough - Any advice.Ive said to my hubby we should see a solicitor and get an Injunction against her and tell her husband what is going on regarding her pestering phonecalls.
With his daughter i said to my hubby to tell a solicitor what she is doing and state we will gladly have access to see his child but want nothing to do with her.Im fed up with her she is a complete bunny boiler.I feel so sorry for my husbands child in all this they are being used as a weapon.
Any advice on this situation ?
0
Comments
:shocking: :shocking:
My Ex is the biggest BUNNY BOILER I have ever heard of. She is that bad I could right a novel 500 pages long about the hell I have experianced over the last 8 months.
I have a son to her, he is 4 on 26th of december, I had 50/50 access with my son 4days each so it rotated. the last day I had my son was 3/11/2006. As I was made homeless by her and jobless, I am now living with parents. I got my son to sleep and went out with my friends for my birthday night out, Most of them work in my local pub so we went ther for cheap drink. 10 mins after I get in, the Bunny Boiler and her new found best friend walk in and walk straight up to me and my friend turn and go to the other end of the bar. My friend had never met her before so I told him and he looked up the bar at the 2 snarlying dogs and said if looks could kill we would be dead. Her friend walks up with a big smile and just stands there trying to join in the conversation. I look at her and stopped talking i asked her what do you want she just smiled and siad why are you not at home with your son, I said who the f**k are you and what has that got to do with you? she walked away.
Then my best friends girlfriend finnishes work and joins us for a drink. She had never met the bunny boiler before so I showed her a photo.
The moment my Ex so her with me She thought she was my new girlfriend.
That was when the gates of hell opened. She came up and said why are you not at home with MY son?? My friends told her it was my birthday Night out. All night her and her friends followed me and my friends to Everywhere I was being Stalked, if she wasnt laying into me with a torent of abuse her friends would be next to me trying to be friends. She followed us out of one pub and ended out attacking my friends Girlfriend. Scratching her face body and bruising her. all my friends were telling her to go away for hours but she kept following. I confronted her about it in a night club and we both got flung out. She hit me in the head with a bottle I cut my knee badly on the way down and when i had both hands on the floor she stamped on my hands very badly swollen.
I got up and went to one side she went round the other side shouting about me to 2 guys. Her friend comes round and speaks to me and says You just dragged me by the throat over the road and punched me. I never did anything to her at all. I told her I was sorry if she believed that. My friends came out and I noticed my ex shouting at me with two guys I went over and told them we had a kid togeather and not to get involved. A massive argument erupted and she started slapping me so I regretfully slapped her and she got me lifted I got charged and kept in all weekend to appear at court. I got charged with Assaulting her, her friend and breace of the peace Domestic. I was not allowed to give myside of the story and was not allowed to get witnesses. The police said if I had phoned first She would have been in side instead.
But I had only wanted to get home. And away from her but they stalked me for ages after her friend was tagging about laughing and joking with me this is a woman who says I dragged her across a road and punched her.
At the start she got me 8 charges which I have still not been up to court for yet. Not one of the 8 charges where Domestic abuse or Assault. She set me up so she could get my Flat and I lost my job we were never married and now She says I will never see my son again.
He is Everything to me because he reminds me of me as a child. he is all I could ever ask for and more.
I Can not Display just how much I LOVE MY SON!!!!!!
Any Ideas on what to do ???????????????????????????
n take photos of everyg that could put her in trouble...like ur scrapes n things, record everything...and make sure your lawyers good!..as in that he/she can make ur ex look like a criminal. no one in their right mind would give your son to her! hope this helps!...
Hey thanks for your reply. I have spoken to lawyers and friends. I had 2 witnesses the 2 boys I was with and my mates girlfriend. the 2 boys were going to be witnesses but the girl who got attacked said she would not get involved she never wanted to be in the same room as her ever again. So I told her I could no longer help her as a friend as she would not help me. So she told her boyfriend and now I have no witnesses, It cant get any worse.:banghead: :crazyeyes .:banghead:
So now its looking like jail or I skip country to try and avoid the enevetable.
my court dates are in the same week so it looks like Im off tothe big jug and a convict life to follow.
She got me and she got me good. I will just need to take my fate on the chin and do whatever it takes to get through this.
I will keep giving up dates on my situation as I think people should know just how Far an Ex girlfriend can go to completely destroying you.
It will only go on for another 3 months anyway.
As for the above poster, that is why you get the free legal advice at the police station. Unless there's something that you're not telling then its unlikely that you would receive a prison sentence or anything like that. And you must tell your solicitor about these witnesses- even if they don't want to go to court- because your solicitor has the power to force them to testify on your behalf, and its in your interests to do exactly that. Your solicitor can get a witness summons to make them appear at court.
As for the OP, an injunction is unlikely unless you can prove that she is harrassing you. I would refuse to speak to her, say nothing and do nothing, and do not make any payments to her.
I got my court date in for my civil case for Full Custody. So I think that the war is really about to start, I go up at the start of Febuary, I doubt I will get full custody but I have to try and get the Boy away from her ways.
Thanx for the advice all, Kermit You were right I was being a bit paranoid about thinking of a jail sentence, But it is still something I can not rule out.
I have made no payments too her and I see my son every Saturday just now.
My Ex has a problem with me and my family having contact with my son, but she is willing to leave him with people she works with so she can go to work, She has to get workmates to look after him cos her mother wont, nor any of her other relatives, Her uncle tried to have sex with her 3 weeks after we split up, her uncles son was abused by him, and one of her family members is a peadophile. So I can not see her problem. my parents are C/accountants, my sis is the head of a primary school, I am a chief engineer, All my family are Professionals in good jobs.
She has also got a new man (thank you god) as my son told me his mum is going to have a new baby in her stomach, my son also asked my sister to come in and meet him when he returned to her after xmas.
Every week I get told something diffrent from my 4 year old boy, From new boyfriends to babies, she is moving to cornwall, Daddies goin to jail cos he hit mummy, Daddies a bad man I have heard loads more.
I on the other hand do not want a String of women coming in and out of my sons life and as he also is still telling me I am not allowed girlfriends so for the sake of my son I had refrained from meeting someone new. How silly do I feel.
I read you said "say nothing, do nothing". Anything I do has no effect anyway, I just Feel so helpless. I hate not being in controll of my own destiny.
Why Is this Country now so set against men, White Males in particular.The legal System makes us out to be ANIMALS, BEASTS, CAVE MEN, No sorry they get treated better than us we are the Lowest of the Low. What happened to Innocent berfore proven guilty, Its more like Guilty till you prove yourself not guilty.
For a while I just wanted to see my son and it all be over, But now I just want revenge, I wish I could make her feel like I do. I have hated people and wanted to fight with them, But this is far more than that. I straight up hate her like I have never hated before, its not hate anymore its went past that point lol
Above point about white men gettin treated badly was me sulking, Thanks for the kick up the backside. but I was only saying how I felt at that point in time, sorry for any offence that was taken from any party reading it.
Your ex-partner made an allegation of assault, the police are duty-bound to investigate and because of new guidance on domestic violence the CPS are duty-bound to prosecute. What you do is stop moping about, you get a decent solicitor, and you fight the allegations. Hate her if you want, but if that comes across in court to the magistrates then it makes her story stronger.
If she's as bad as you claim then that will come out in court, and you will be acquitted.
I hope you have told your solicitor about your friends as witnesses so that a witness summons can be arranged. It will piss them off immensely, but not as much as you getting convicted. You can't rule out custody if convicted but in my experience on a first offence for someone with no previous criminal history its unlikely.
There isn't much that can be done about her turning your son against you, in time he will realise that what she says is not true, but he's too young to understand now. The only sanctions open to the court cause more harm than good, which is a big problem for everyone.
Her case for domestic assault is starting to crumble, but I have got her to appear at court for the drugs as I have told the truth that they were her drugs. lol. She got refused legal aid for all 3 cases lol. thanks to me I got her caught for benifit fraud lol. what goes around comes around. She is now facing financial riun and beggin me for money through lawyers haha How the tables have turned. I am so happy but still shittin myself in case I get sent down. TWO weeks of freedom left to the day lol.
My Ambitions to be Free!!!!!!!
Was really down about it ages ago and thanks for the kick up the backside FOLKS! cheers much. they wittness summons or out to my mates so thats that relationship gone. you are totally right some of the cases that should be a domestic get put through drug courts and ones that get put through domestic courts should be just standard court. the legal system is FUCKED sorry for the language but it is.
Wooooahh - If what your saying is true mate, you've got nothing to prove to anyone in here.
As for your above comment ??! Wtf - load of bollocks that.
You need to be speaking to your solicitor mate, I get the feeling we haven't been told the half of it, making it hard for you to get the advise you need.
I can not go into full details about this anywhere. As it is an ongoing court case and you never know who could read this. I was already at a disadvantage before now, So it would be most stupid of me to give away my game plan or let on how much I know of hers.