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problems getting it up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The couple of times my boyfriend has been having problems getting it up so to speak and he says its becuase he is anixouse. Is there anything I can do to help him?
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just a few don'ts, eye-rolling, *sigh*-ing, "it happens to the best of us"-es, or anything else unsupportive, that gives him the feeling that's his fault.
Is he worried about other stuff outside the bedroom that is affecting his performance? Or is he just nervous about sex? It can be a vicous circle.
I would suggest keep on kissing him, reassure him (there is LOADS of sexual stuff you can do without needing an erect penis), and also maybe try out some sex tips, like different methods of touching him. Not just doing the same thing all the time.
this might be helpful. (safe for work, i guess).
Although weed makes your willy go limp so i don't recommend that. Alternatively, there is viagra!
Perhaps get him over when you have plenty of time to relax, go to the bedroom, and tell him that no matter what happens, no matter how horny he feels, how annoyed or frustrating he finds it, he is not going to be able to shag you. (Not because he can't but because you won't let him)
Even if he gets the biggest hard on, he will not be able to shag you.
That way it instantly removes any pressure of having to please you with his dick.
Perhaps try a few things you've not been willing to before, like if it's his thing, saying that you'll even let him spank your ass, or finger your ass (whatever, its not really the point, it just gets across that you're willing to do something that you wasnt too keen on before [obviously not doing anything that you really detest] you would be willing to let him shag you)
It also adds something new and exciting for him.
Then if it does get him raging, it's up to you weather to keep your promise of not letting him fuck you... Probably best to keep your promise for any problems in the future
When it happens to me I'll try to get it up for a while, knowing that if I can just get it in then I can keep it hard once the sex starts.
if that fails because I'm too stressed or worried, then I'll just tell myself if it doesn't work it doesn't work and then wait a while. Often 10-15 minutes later I've calmed down and am good to go again.