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Advice from HowToBeCooler.com
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Here's notes I wrote ploughing through the entirity of http://www.HowToBeCooler.com. Some of this you may think is "stating the bleeding obvious" but it's good to acknowledge it methinks..
1. Social Skills
Self-awareness, how you come across to others.
2. Be Honest abt Probs
3. True self always shines through
Core traits always as they were
Keep good parts and toss bad parts of yourself
4. Making Conversation
Eye contact, open-ended qs, good listener, up to date with current news
& events, avoid loaded topics
Cheerful, sociable, knowledgeable, witty, lots of interests = good convo
Naturally more funny, insightful, storyteller etc can take same
material and make it more interesting
More random stuff floating in head = easier to chat. Read obscure stuff.
5. Connecting with People
Mirror them, do follow-up questions and comeback statements
6. How to be Funny
Spontaneous humour is good. Don't try, it should just come.
7. How to be Interesting
Unique perspective on things.
8. Asking Girls Out
Important in you: Looks, confidence, conversational skills, sense of
humour, friendliness, ability to be interesting, level of life
experience, knowledge. If all in good shape then right things naturally
come out of your mouth, and in the right way.
9. Being Confident
Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Be outgoing and charming
around people.
10 Knowledge
Learn about popular sports you're not interested in. Pool, darts, poker
(play online to get the hang of it).
Drinking - learn what you like.
11 Improve Yourself
Socially successful / respected people have their acts together and
above average abilities in areas their peers value. Backpacking =
interesting stories, more desirable person to know. Interesting,
engaging, funny, knowing a good story, will draw people to you.
Participating in sport = improved discipline, perserverance, confidence
& mental toughness. Ability to drive = maturity and independence.
12 Dancing
Girls want passably moving guy who looks comfortable, confident and
like he's having fun. BE TONED DOWN AND LOW KEY. Don't pull off crazy
moves, over-reaching and being 'that guy' is worse than blending in and
being a bit boring and unoriginal. CONSCIOUSLY TONE YOURSELF DOWN.
13 High School
Sport keeps your emotions nice and balanced out, and gives a good boost
in confidence. Don't have crushes - impaired state. Educate about s.
14 Read
Every book = self improvement. Knowledge, trivia, new way of looking at
things.
15 Inexperienced
Need to learn sexual moves ie flirting. Your best prospects are girls
you've just met. Ones you know it's very difficult with.
1. Social Skills
Self-awareness, how you come across to others.
2. Be Honest abt Probs
3. True self always shines through
Core traits always as they were
Keep good parts and toss bad parts of yourself
4. Making Conversation
Eye contact, open-ended qs, good listener, up to date with current news
& events, avoid loaded topics
Cheerful, sociable, knowledgeable, witty, lots of interests = good convo
Naturally more funny, insightful, storyteller etc can take same
material and make it more interesting
More random stuff floating in head = easier to chat. Read obscure stuff.
5. Connecting with People
Mirror them, do follow-up questions and comeback statements
6. How to be Funny
Spontaneous humour is good. Don't try, it should just come.
7. How to be Interesting
Unique perspective on things.
8. Asking Girls Out
Important in you: Looks, confidence, conversational skills, sense of
humour, friendliness, ability to be interesting, level of life
experience, knowledge. If all in good shape then right things naturally
come out of your mouth, and in the right way.
9. Being Confident
Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Be outgoing and charming
around people.
10 Knowledge
Learn about popular sports you're not interested in. Pool, darts, poker
(play online to get the hang of it).
Drinking - learn what you like.
11 Improve Yourself
Socially successful / respected people have their acts together and
above average abilities in areas their peers value. Backpacking =
interesting stories, more desirable person to know. Interesting,
engaging, funny, knowing a good story, will draw people to you.
Participating in sport = improved discipline, perserverance, confidence
& mental toughness. Ability to drive = maturity and independence.
12 Dancing
Girls want passably moving guy who looks comfortable, confident and
like he's having fun. BE TONED DOWN AND LOW KEY. Don't pull off crazy
moves, over-reaching and being 'that guy' is worse than blending in and
being a bit boring and unoriginal. CONSCIOUSLY TONE YOURSELF DOWN.
13 High School
Sport keeps your emotions nice and balanced out, and gives a good boost
in confidence. Don't have crushes - impaired state. Educate about s.
14 Read
Every book = self improvement. Knowledge, trivia, new way of looking at
things.
15 Inexperienced
Need to learn sexual moves ie flirting. Your best prospects are girls
you've just met. Ones you know it's very difficult with.
0
Comments
FYI - it changed it's name to www.succeedsocially.com the other week.
that's just being something you're not, there's nothing wrong with saying you dont play darts.
as for the rest, they really seem like basic life skills. but not the kind that are necessarily easy to develop though!
Also, they're all pretty much written as "should come naturally". it's not something you can fix on your own in your bedroom... they'll all come with practice and experience, I hope
http://www.succeedsocially.com/virgin
I'm not saying it isn't helpful, but no girl wants to go out with a textbook or a self-help website. You have to remember to relax and be yourself
:yes:
Playing sports you're not interested in does seem slightly odd to me.
Similarly, banter with the lads can often turn into the pros and cons of specific Man Utd or Arsenal players, the cricket, or golf. Even if you're not into the sports, it's really, really useful to know the very basics so you can chip in a bit now and then rather than sit there in silence feeling a bit awkward you don't know what everyone else is talking about.