Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Ex moving on...finding it hard

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Basically as the title says.

We were together for 3 years and broke up about 3 weeks ago.
She seems to be feeling fine and moving on with her life, meeting other people etc but its killing me and i just dont know how to deal with it..help?

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know sweetie but your time will come to move on too. She may not be finding it as easy as you think anyway. You've done well so far, just keep being with your mates and thinking about your future :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, she could just be putting on a brave face.
    Just try and spend time with your mates and have as little or no contact with her.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You were together for 3 years, its surely going take more than 3 weeks to forget an move on dude. Give yourself a break! I'm sure she'd feel the same way if she saw you were moving on. Make sure you try hardest to do the same. She's probably trying her best to occupy her mind with something else other than the break up. I know its hard, I've bin there. Recently! You just need to keep busy! Always works! Gym? night/s out?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, yeh ive been in the gym about 5 nights a week since then really. doesnt help all that much though, just feels like when i get home its back to that 'empty' feeling.

    ETA: And yes, i think she is trying to keep busy because shes been out practically every night since the split, which is quite upsetting really - just feels like she doesnt need me anymore :(
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get some girl mates round ya pad!

    I find socialising with girly mates after a breakup helps. Inflates my battered ego a little.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude I'm really sorry to hear that, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years some time ago but then it was me who broke up with her to be with someone else so it's a slightly different situation and I can't really relate.
    But I have been dumped before and yeah as other people have said, the only way forward is to completely sever contact. Get rid of any valentines day cards, photos, presents e.t.c I know you don't want to, but looking at them only makes things harder. That empty feeling every night is the hardest part, but seriously it's always 100 times worse when you're alone and not doing much. Clubbing and getting wasted with other good looking girls is the way I move on, but then everyone's different, so whatever works for you man.
    Chin up mate.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel for you its fucking hard trying to get over someone especially when they have appeared to get over you so easily but she might just be putting on a brave front. Its annoying but it takes time to get over someone. Just stick with your mates and go out as much as possible. Hope I helped.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel hun, my boyfriend of 5 years split up with me nearly 2 months ago and its still really hard :(

    Trust me, she wont have moved on yet, its just that she wants to forget about things so going out and doing stuff with mates is the best thing to do.

    Try being like that yourself and not worrying too much about what she is doing :thumb:

    I know its harder said than done but its for the best.

    I hope things get better for you soon :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Despite it being me the one that walked away in the end with my ex of three years, it still took me a long time to get over it. You aren't just going to get over a 3 year relationship overnight. Thats a long time.

    Words cannot describe how much happier I am now though. It took a while for me but time is a healer. You will move on, you will get over this, I promise you :)

    Just look forward to your future. You are at uni, you have lots going for you :)

    Chin up, you know where I am on MSN if you wanna chat :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she might appear to be okay, but she is human just like you and has feelings. she is probably hurting like you are she just doesn't want to show it and sometimes putting on a front makes you feel better.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know she is hurting really as well. Not sure if that makes things any harder or easier really, just indifferent
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    I don't know sweetie but your time will come to move on too. She may not be finding it as easy as you think anyway. You've done well so far, just keep being with your mates and thinking about your future :)

    I agree with Lipsy here! She is probably still depressed too but is trying not to show it. You will feel better eventually and feel happier and then have a huge rant about her, then feel much much better and get back on track! Go you!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know its really hard getting over someone specially after so long together, but honestly i've been there too it will only hurt for a while and you will be able to move on. And i'd say she's only putting a brave face on, its probably really hurting her too,
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mate, the best advice you could receive is this.

    Be a lad again. Go out with all your male friends as much as possible. Get seriously trashed and pull everything with a pulse.

    Fuck all use for giving you the warm fuzzy feeling of being a couple, but the best way of showing yourself you don't need a bird.
Sign In or Register to comment.