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Frustrating mums
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just a bit of a rant really. My mum is dependent on me in a way, it's really frustrating now. I'll have plans and then I'll have to fix them around her. It's really weird, backward to how you'd imagine it would be. I am living at uni alright with no problems looking after myself really, and have an interview at 2 today for a course i want to do, and then she's ringing me and saying she needs this and that.
Sometimes it's really minor stuff, like she wanted a phone number for something, I said type it in google (it was for an estate agent) and she asked me to do it instead. So I did, phoned her back, she'd foudn the number, then she had a go at me for waking her up (at 4.30pm).
It's just really bizarre, she seems childlike at times, immature, has tantrums with me etc. Like we were driving the other week, she was so unsure of herself! Asked me every 15 seconds (literally) if we were going the right way or if she was meant to turn off. I said no, straight on, but it didn't mean she wouldn't turn around anyway. It was so exhausting, even though I was just following the road signs myself. At one point we were going to a petrol station, it was visible, but still she needed my prompting where to turn off the roundabout
.
She also uses me as a sounding board, it's really frustrating, she'll just talk at me. I'll say 'pardon?' and she'll just keep talking, like she's having thoughts about things and they're just coming out of her mouth.
I don't mean to be ungrateful for the years she's given up looking after me, but I'm just trying to get a bit of independence now and she rings me most days, not to be social but often to get me to do little titbits for her. When we're together, she refuses to phone places, insisting I do it instead (even if it's her who's interested in phoning) because I suspect she doesn't like talking on the phone or something.
I just do what I'm told, by and large, but some days like today when I've got my 'big interview', and she wants me to help her at 2 o clock as well. I dunno, maybe she leant on my dad a lot to be strong and leading and give her confidence she was doing the right thing, even if she knew it herself. Now he's gone, she doesn't seem to have that, and is constantly second guessing herself, and needs me for reassurance. But I can't always tell her, I can only say a lot of the time it's up to her.
edit: :grump: I just rang her to check how she was because she's coming up today and I wondered if she'd left (finally, an hour late) and she wants me to go ringing round places for her cos she's late! I've got an interview in little over an hour, I'm going to have my lunch now!
Sometimes it's really minor stuff, like she wanted a phone number for something, I said type it in google (it was for an estate agent) and she asked me to do it instead. So I did, phoned her back, she'd foudn the number, then she had a go at me for waking her up (at 4.30pm).
It's just really bizarre, she seems childlike at times, immature, has tantrums with me etc. Like we were driving the other week, she was so unsure of herself! Asked me every 15 seconds (literally) if we were going the right way or if she was meant to turn off. I said no, straight on, but it didn't mean she wouldn't turn around anyway. It was so exhausting, even though I was just following the road signs myself. At one point we were going to a petrol station, it was visible, but still she needed my prompting where to turn off the roundabout
.She also uses me as a sounding board, it's really frustrating, she'll just talk at me. I'll say 'pardon?' and she'll just keep talking, like she's having thoughts about things and they're just coming out of her mouth.
I don't mean to be ungrateful for the years she's given up looking after me, but I'm just trying to get a bit of independence now and she rings me most days, not to be social but often to get me to do little titbits for her. When we're together, she refuses to phone places, insisting I do it instead (even if it's her who's interested in phoning) because I suspect she doesn't like talking on the phone or something.
I just do what I'm told, by and large, but some days like today when I've got my 'big interview', and she wants me to help her at 2 o clock as well. I dunno, maybe she leant on my dad a lot to be strong and leading and give her confidence she was doing the right thing, even if she knew it herself. Now he's gone, she doesn't seem to have that, and is constantly second guessing herself, and needs me for reassurance. But I can't always tell her, I can only say a lot of the time it's up to her.
edit: :grump: I just rang her to check how she was because she's coming up today and I wondered if she'd left (finally, an hour late) and she wants me to go ringing round places for her cos she's late! I've got an interview in little over an hour, I'm going to have my lunch now!
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Comments
I find my mum rings loads at times, especially when my dad's away. The summary is because she misses me and the phone calls for this that and the other are an excuse to say hello and talk to me. It's probably also partly because you'd do those kind of things when you were at home, and she just continues to assume that you will do them.
Hee Hee, you'll have fun if you move back home for the rest of this year.
Just had a nightmare moment today, when we were looking at buying rental accomodation in York for me, and I thought 'Oh god, if I let my mum be my landlord I'll never get ANY independence'.
That's why I can't sleep right now, lol.