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i cant let go
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
um hi.. my names neil and im a 23 yr old male in birmingham
around sugust/september last year my girlfreind of 6 years dumped me, no real reason apart from "it was something to do with her and wasnt me".. thats all she said and walked off....
what was ever in my heart i feel has turned into something evil, i hate her for what she did, and how she did it..
hearing those words devestated me and for the next 3 days i was so ill, anyways the days turned to months, christmas came and went and i slowly began to forget, the whole expreience had changed me, i was always angry or depressed low in spirit and health, i broke down at work a few times.. but i was getting better, working through it and looking ahead
i would still see things that reminded me of her and have bad days those feeling bubbling to the surface once in a while and in the new year i decided it was to change, i started dieting, exersising, and i felt good
till an old freind on the web who was freinds of ours logged on after a long time offline first words out of his head were " oh i was right about lesley and darren but im not sure" this planted the seeds of doubt in me and for the next week or so it as always in the back of my mind making me like a timebomb when the next stressfull thing happened
luckily it was a nice week..
while i was with her she had a few male freinds, she went out ocassionaly with them and i trusted her like a good boyfreind should, and i had no idea that she would be inclined to leave me or anything
i then found out off one of her brothers who still thinks of me a s a good freind that she is seeing darren, it hurt a little, and i accept that she is free to what she pleases now..
but part of me cant let go.. part of me wants her to be hurt like she hurt me.. after all this time i feel the same as i did when she left me..
i want to let go.. but i dont know how.. i need help but dont know where to go..people keep saying "time is a healer" and i dont think that will cut the mustard with me
can anyone help?
thankyou
around sugust/september last year my girlfreind of 6 years dumped me, no real reason apart from "it was something to do with her and wasnt me".. thats all she said and walked off....
what was ever in my heart i feel has turned into something evil, i hate her for what she did, and how she did it..
hearing those words devestated me and for the next 3 days i was so ill, anyways the days turned to months, christmas came and went and i slowly began to forget, the whole expreience had changed me, i was always angry or depressed low in spirit and health, i broke down at work a few times.. but i was getting better, working through it and looking ahead
i would still see things that reminded me of her and have bad days those feeling bubbling to the surface once in a while and in the new year i decided it was to change, i started dieting, exersising, and i felt good
till an old freind on the web who was freinds of ours logged on after a long time offline first words out of his head were " oh i was right about lesley and darren but im not sure" this planted the seeds of doubt in me and for the next week or so it as always in the back of my mind making me like a timebomb when the next stressfull thing happened
luckily it was a nice week..
while i was with her she had a few male freinds, she went out ocassionaly with them and i trusted her like a good boyfreind should, and i had no idea that she would be inclined to leave me or anything
i then found out off one of her brothers who still thinks of me a s a good freind that she is seeing darren, it hurt a little, and i accept that she is free to what she pleases now..
but part of me cant let go.. part of me wants her to be hurt like she hurt me.. after all this time i feel the same as i did when she left me..
i want to let go.. but i dont know how.. i need help but dont know where to go..people keep saying "time is a healer" and i dont think that will cut the mustard with me
can anyone help?
thankyou
0
Comments
There's not a lot of constructive advice I can give, just hang in there and keep your chin up.
My girlfriend of 3 years dumped me at November and is travelling around the world with a guy friend of both of ours. About a month after we broke up, I find out that they're now going out.
It's a fucking kick in the nuts but I'll tell you what the best, most mature thing to do is and the thing that will probably make you feel best about the situation.
Be a man and make peace with both of them.
I know this is the hardest thing to do as it kinda means conceding defeat but trust me, you will feel so much better for it. With my ex, I had mixed feelings of resentment and hope that we might get back together when she got home but after what happened I felt massive anger towards her. However, on the advice of a few friends, I swallowed my pride and forgave them and I feel fantastic for it. I still feel sad every now and then because you don't go out with someone for that long and not have feelings afterwards.
But believe me, though anger is a very healthy emotion especially when it comes to getting over breakups but it is not an emotion to constantly live with. Plus at the end of the day, if you remain angry, what will that acheive? It won't split them up and it won't get her back. You need to look after you and you alone and being angry is not the way to do it.
So forgive them, make peace and see how you feel.
PM me if you want any help with this. I know what you're going through.