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advice please got myself in a diffcult situation

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi all, i really need some urgent advice, ive been chatting to a wonderful man off the internet for over two years, we often speak on the phone several times a day and text etc...I really like this guy and he's asked if we can meet next week, which under normal circumstances i'd be really happy about, but instead im trying too get out of without hurting him...in the beginning i told him lots of lies, mainly because i didn't think things would go this far and i never imagined it would get too the meeting stage, i guess i thought we'd just loste touch eventually.........Firstly i sent him a photo of someone else, mainly because im not the most attractive person, although in all fairness i have never seen a photo of him, secondly he thinks i have only one child, yet i have several, he also thinks im divorced, but im still stuck in an unhappy marriage. Im not proud of what ive done, i dont want too lose this guy, but if i tell him the truth i'll lose him and if i met him, he'd get a nasty shock and i'd lose him...please please can anyone help, i know ive been a total idiot, just need some advice on what too do for the best.....thanks

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    smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    If your married you shouldn't really be meeting this guy. Secondly you don't even know what he looks like, its amazing how much someone can disguse them selves on the internet, although you may feel like you know him well if you engage in conversation frequently.

    If you feel that you want to meet him, then you have no choice but to tell him the truth, clear it up with him. He might not care or it could be the opposite, but you will not know until you tell him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i say you tell the truth. if you meet him, your husband will go ape-shit and itll make matters worse. plus you have no ide what this guy looks like, nor does he, you. youre better off eeping him at bay, as a friend, saying "i really dont know if its a good idea for you to come see me just now" or something that makes you seem as if youre unsure, so he wont pressure you into doing it.

    and if he does, kick his ass to the cyber-curb.
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    BunnieBunnie Posts: 6,099 Master Poster
    I dont think you should worry about meeting him. Keep talking to him if you so wish, but come clean. You could have him as a friend, but until you have either attempting to reconcile your marriage, or given it up, have enough respect for yourself, husband and children before running off with another man.

    I cannot personally put myself in your shoes, but you do need to sort out your broken marriage first. In my opinion, this is more important, that some bloke you have never met.

    Was your marriage unhappy before you started speaking to the internet man? Because what can happen, is you can imagine a much better life with someone who is perfect...however, reality is much more bitter than that. The internet man (sorry, not a very nice term, but at least you know who i am talking about :p) could be hideous, with the worst habits, and you could risk losing your family for this person.

    In other words that was a long winded way of saying, leave internet man, and concentrate on your family, be it with your husband or alone. When third parties get involved, someone always gets hurt, and it will probably be you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bunnie is absolutely right.

    And I speak as someone who was stuck in an unhappy marriage with children. You need to sort that out one way or the other without anything else skewing your perception. And tell the internet bloke the truth, you don't really have much choice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate to sound all preachy... but you said yourself that you've not told him the whole truth about yourself in terms of your appearance, family etc.... who's to say he's not lying to you? I'd be very careful from a safety point. People can be very decieving online. Perhaps a more positive approach would be to address issues in your personal home life first and establish why it is that you're looking elsewhere. Good luck either way xXx
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