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thinking
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
does anybody else ever find that thinking of a certain person makes you actively and seriously contemplate (and sometimes try) suicide?
- thinking it would be better to die because you REALLY cannot stand the feelings associated with thinking about them.
~ is this normal? - on the unlikely off chance that it is normal, then how do you cope with those feelings without doing something stupid?
i ask because there is one person who every time i think about her, even just remember her name, i cannot stand the feelings that comes up... i usually hurt myself as a result.
thoughts?
- thinking it would be better to die because you REALLY cannot stand the feelings associated with thinking about them.
~ is this normal? - on the unlikely off chance that it is normal, then how do you cope with those feelings without doing something stupid?
i ask because there is one person who every time i think about her, even just remember her name, i cannot stand the feelings that comes up... i usually hurt myself as a result.
thoughts?
0
Comments
I guess if you were involved with them in a highly intense way then it can be possible and normal to feel like this. There may be unfinished business from the past which you need to clear or sort out properly. If it wasn't that long ago then it should get better with time. You need to find something to take your mind off them in a different way! In fact I did used to feel similarly about someone, but in the end I realised that it isn't worth feeling that way about anyone in the long run as it just messes your life up.
I'd suggest that you seek counselling to try and work through the issues that surround this person, because quite often all the negative emotions one feel get heaped on one scapegoat. This is even more true if that person was abusive, especially sexually, but even if this person wasn't as evil as that then its important to resolve the issues.
While it's really positive that you're talking about them here, you may also find that you'll benefit from seeking help from somewhere else. Perhaps take a look at our list of helplines to see if you would feel comfortable contacting any of them.
It's also a good time to focus on the other friends you have and perhaps times when people have had a really positive impact on your life.
Hope this helps, take care.
Also, what kind of feelings are they? Angry? Sad? Lustful?
Is this person attracted to you? Do you wish you were like them? Did they hurt you? Are you jealous of them?
sad- no person is worth ending your life over. time will heal it and youll find someone who makes you happy
mad- sometimes its just best to let whatever happened go. theres no sense in being angry at the past, for too long anyway.
wanting- dont stress it. theres some things you cant have, and theres a good reason: you shouldnt have them. shes probobly bad for you anyway.
but the bottom line is this. theres nothing worth ending your own life over. you wont believe how badly everyone around you will hurt. and from past experience, things always turn out for the better in the end. why end the story at such a bad part? keep going, and see what good things life will bring your way.
for whatever negative thing she has in relation to you, life will give you two good ones.
i hope this helps!
That might help to know.
objectively i really cannot make sense of how/why i feel like i do... i wish i could think of her in a different way so then may be i could convince myself i shouldn't feel anything towards her anymore. but it just doesn't feel right or real to say that and mean it.
my head is f**ked up!
abusive relationships can leave some pretty fucked up scars, but you shouldnt be stressing it too too much. just think on the bright side, the abusive dictator of your life is gone, you should feel somewhat free.
and i know its hard, but try to surpress these feelings. theres no sense in haing strong feelings for someone whos gone and wont come back.
its normal to still have feelings for someone who you just ended a relationship with, granted it wasnt you who ended it. but, in my experience, it goes away real soon, especially once you either A) find someone new to stick around with, or
so let time take its course, dont do anything irrational, and this will blow over soon enough