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Cant get none!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I used to chat on these boards years ago, around 2000 or so under another name. Can't remember the username let alone the password so I just made a new account. Back then my main reason for coming here was to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, I was 15 and while all the other teenagers were hooking up, having sex and stuff, I wasnt. Nobody was interested. Problem is im now 20 and still no ones interested, every time I try I get shot down whereas everyone else around me seems to be having an easier time. I just don't get it! People are actually asking me if Im gay, thats how little attention / action / anything I get.
I need help before I turn insane....
I need help before I turn insane....
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unfortunately as a girl id rather go for the sexy bloke oozing masculinity and only giving me enough eye contact to keep me hanging on than the nicey try-hard bloke coming out with all the 'moves', lines and 'can i buy you a drink?'.
just go out to some nice places with some mates, get the glad rags on and do your hair. your aim is to have a good time, not pull. if you see a fit girl then give her eye contact etc.
just dont be desperate to pull, because then you will just seem desperate.
i reckon if you keep going out then you should pull eventually.
That's like telling a man on fire to stay calm until you figured out how the fire extinguisher works.
It's really hard to have the patience and endurance to wait.
I for one have to be active, try, and see how far I get.
On a more serious, down to earth note, I don't seem to get why it doesn't happen either. I'm like StrubbleS where I have to try, because the alternative means nothing is going to happen. But taking it from different angles (ex. being a gentleman, being drunk and chatting, acting; as in not being yourself but playing a role which seems to be everyone's preference) and getting the same result is almost as pointless and damaging as just doing nothing. Still, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
I tried so many different ways too in the last year (2006), the kind of head rush, with asking for the number, with the "I definitely need to go on a few drinks with you!", and the strong affecting way (found out she had a b/f tho), to the tactic of having random idle chat from day to day, sometimes sitting beside her in the auditorium, then after some time "wondering if I could have your number, so we can catch up at a cup o' joe or something.", going out having great chat, nice convo, even a bit personal things, the space between us becomes smaller, more personal. Then after one week of not seing her traveling to her hometown by train to see her etc....
absolutely unresponsive, so I told her flat out I fancied her, and that I'm a bit fidgety, because I can't notice any acception or rejection from her side with that, and I'd like to know what her sentiments and thoughts about that were.
Imho, everything was perfect, but this time it should be the recent messy break-up from an idiot boyfriend and that she's not able to have a relationship right now.
So, after thinking it's over, my consciousness orders me to keep contact go out with her, maybe she overcomes the bad phase and recognizes me as a partner... hmmmmm... stupid mind, working against myself.
oh, sorry.. I kept rambling and rambling and totally forgot about the topic... eh well, Micky1986, maybe you can learn out of my mishaps... or something
I've got the exact same problem except I'm 22. The problem is that unless you know all these bullshit dating "rules" you'll never get anywhere with women, being yourself just doesn't cut it anymore.
The trap you don't want to fall into is to become angry with the situation. Eventually you'll become bitter and so sexually frustrated that you'll want to punch every women you meet in the face!
So, if anyone show's even the slightest interest in you you need to grab her and never let go. It doesn't matter how you feel just do it.
That or go visit a prossy, at least they're honest...
If you are single and without success, this is the right attitude so it stays that way.
I can now deal with women far better than ever before (I'm 22 years old and haven't had a girlfriend) but I haven't quite got the results yet.
I'm getting there but it takes time.
As far as "being yourself" and girls going for "personality"? All wrong. When I was 18.5 st and in terrible shape girls/women always told me that personality counts more than anything else. Now that I'm 13.5 st and in great shape, I'm still told the same. The problem is my personality is the same now as it was back then.
We're all so close to success we just have to keep on going.
Hahaha......
funniest thing I've read in ages.. (and slightly depressing because it's SO true!)
make yourself look pretty
go out on the town
drink a bit
keep chatting up girls till you find one who's interested
warning: loveless meaningless sex may make you feel worthless. But if it doesn't then great, tonnes of guys do it every weekend. And girls, in fact. Clubbing for a large part seems to be one big hook up and shag lottery. No offense to clubbers, I enjoy going with my mates and having a wee dance. Just that I've seen and been almost on the receiving end of a lot of the other ones ^^^
Good class prostitute is probably safer as far as STIs go though. Again, probably not good long term / emotionally. Unless you're just horny and really don't fancy a wank.
eta: woah sorry for the post, it doesn't sound very nice does it?
Best of luck with your searching, try and make friends and see when something develops. With sex it's definately quality not quantity
And you wonder why you have trouble meeting women?
well yes, it was a bitter comment, and that attitude is likely to come across when meeting people... but at the same time, can you actually fault what was said.. because I think it's pretty spot on as a comment on general culture for this country...
I can fault everything Lifeless said.
Well yes, I can.
The problem is that unless you know all these bullshit dating "rules" you'll never get anywhere with women, being yourself just doesn't cut it anymore.
Implying that it's womens fault that he can't pull, not his, and nothing to do with the fact he's obviously socially retarded.
'So, if anyone show's even the slightest interest in you you need to grab her and never let go. It doesn't matter how you feel just do it.'
You think that's good advice?
'Go visit a prossy, at least they're honest'
There's nothing honest about paying a women to pretend to enjoy having sex with you, and it implies that all other women are decietful. It's bollocks.
Ay leave da MONK'S alone! :mad: nah ur cool;)
First of all, that's a bit harsh. He might not be socially retarded; perhaps he's not confident enough, has had bad experiences, is daunted by the fact everyone else is getting some and he's not therefore diminishing his self-esteem or maybe he's not the most attractive person in the world.
And there are lots of "rules". One person may find it very easy to pull whilst the next finds it more difficult than a colour-blind guy trying to do a Rubix cube.
I'm twenty and I find it difficult too. I don't think I'm ugly - my ex was a model for an agency in London and I have been told numerous times I should pursue such a career/ I look like this or that model. Whether that actually says anything about my looks I have no idea, but I too lack the confidence to approach women for fear of rejection and possibly because I'm a tad mysoginistic anyway.
My advice is be confident in yourself. Look at your mates and see how they do it, and ask them for help and support next time you go out on the town. Speak to your female colleagues/classmates more perhaps not in the intention of shagging them but rather to develop your confidence in speaking to women.
Good luck!