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Rant

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I was friends with this guy over two years ago... to cut a long story short he stopped talking to me because I wouldn't be his girlfriend (that makes it sound immature, but it was complicated and I don't entirely blame him for it).

Anyway... that must have been December 2004, when we last talked. I sent him a few messages every few months which he has completly ignored; even when I told him I was going into hospital.
So I basically thought fine, that's it, I can't do any more. I've apologised for my part in the 'diagreement' countless times and have just got fed up of it now.

I'm not someone who can just completly cut off contact with people I care a lot about, so I figured he wasn't bothered about the friendship and decided if that's his desition, fine.

BUT. Yesterday, I logged onto myspace, and he'd sent me a friends request... No message...
So I thought maybe this was some kind of olive-branch and testing the waters. I accepted his request and waited to see if he'd message me... But he didn't.
So just before going to bed, I sent him a quick message, and I know he's read it, but he hasn't replied.

I'm really miffed.

Firstly, why bother adding me as a 'friend' if he then doesn't bother contacting me?
Secondly, why now? After I've tried to contact him several times and he's ignored me.
Thirdly... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD???

I really don't get him at all. :grump:

I was even half wondering if he wanted me to add him, so he can delet me again, as some twisted way of saying 'look, I still don't care'. But I don't think he's going to because he didn't delet me after reading my message.

I'm just really confused.

I'd gladly be friends with him again as we were really good mates before; and I've matured a lot since I was 15; which is when everything got fucked-up.
And I'd have hoped he'd have moved on and stuff.

But now I'm just utterly bemused. :impissed:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like you've got the patience of a saint.

    Fuck knows why he added you if he intends to continue being an ignorant twit, but at least you've made the effort.

    Leave it in his hands, it's his problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It does seem a bit baffling that he's added you as a friend, but wont reply to your message..
    Perhaps he feels that he doesnt know what to say to you?
    Did he stop talking after a fall out? Was there an arguement, or could he have been told things from other people about you that simply weren't true?

    If he cant move on and accept your apologies then he must still be a bit of an immature 15year old (not saying if youre 15 that you are immature, just that he hasnt grown up since 2 years ago)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nelly_bar wrote:
    Perhaps he feels that he doesnt know what to say to you?
    Did he stop talking after a fall out? Was there an arguement, or could he have been told things from other people about you that simply weren't true?

    Maybe he is lost for words... But, I dunno... why let me know he's there if he'd not figured out what to say to me?
    It wasn't exactly a fall out... He basically said he couldn't just me friends with me because it was frustrating... but it was more complicated than that, and I actually can't remember exactly what happened because it was so long ago.
    I don't think he'd have heard untruthful things about me from elsewhere. But who knows.

    I'm just sick of 'friends' who aren't really friends at all... They're nice to you when it suits them, and then they just ignore you or leave you out of things. I'm sick of always being the one who makes all the effort all of the time. But that's probably an intirely different story.

    Btw... incase the maths doesn't add up... I'm 19, but only had my birthday a month ago... so two years ago I was nearly 16... (I just re-read my post and was like :eek2: how could I have been 15 two years ago???) lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just a quick update... He's finally messaged me back and put basically nothing at all. But I'm working on the assumption that he's a bit tied for words cos he's left it for so long. Ho hum.
    I guess it's good he's finally been able to contact me again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how your friend is feeling. He knows he is not occupying the moral high ground and therefore arguing about it is pointless, but he can't help his feelings that he wants to be together with you.
    It's hard to keep someone as a friend if you have a crush on her, very much for boys and even more for StrubbleS.

    Very recently I told a good friend of mine that we need to stop talking for a while, because I feel like I'm falling for her and that's something I really don't need right now (esp. because she has a b/f).

    It's very hard for him, and you can't really help there. He has a lot of thinking and deciding to do. I've had to take a few very hard criticism, because I always ditch the girls I cannot have instead of remaining friends, but that is something I cannot do. It makes me totally miserable...

    I'm sorry that you are in that position. Good luck to you...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was gonna say he may not have contacted you on purpose cos MySapce has the option to import everyone in your hotmail or gmail address book and automatically send them a friend request.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats freaky, thats almost same problem i have!
    although its cause i dont have the confidence to talk to him as i know he would say yeh if i said about meeting up but im too embrased to talk to him infornt of his mates and im worried it will embrass him aswel if they dont know
    also, i dont want to mess it up as i turned him down before:/
    mates fancying you officaly sucks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's probably just your typical myspacer trying to get as many "friends" as possible with no intention of ever talking to them. Just to be a cool myspacer.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DiamondGeezer wrote:
    I was gonna say he may not have contacted you on purpose cos MySapce has the option to import everyone in your hotmail or gmail address book and automatically send them a friend request.

    Thats what i was going to say!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote:
    I know how your friend is feeling. He knows he is not occupying the moral high ground and therefore arguing about it is pointless, but he can't help his feelings that he wants to be together with you.
    It's hard to keep someone as a friend if you have a crush on her, very much for boys and even more for StrubbleS.

    Yeah, I understand the situation was probably too much for him (although sadly for me he didn't give me much warning before cutting off contact).
    I just hope enough time has passed for it not to be an issue anymore. I'm just finding it a bit bizzar that he's got back in touch.

    lol, thanks myname, yes I see now that he just wants to pimp his myspace :p Hell if it means confusing someone you havn't spoken to for years, who cares, you look popular! :thumb:
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