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Anyone here ever had counselling?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey everyone, Im just wondering if anyone here has ever had counsellingor anything similar and whether it helped them?
Basically about a month ago a friend of mine Id known my whole life died in his sleep at 18, and I posted on here a bit at the time and as the days have gone on I still dont know really if its sunk in and Im always having thoughts I would never have had before.
I mean its like hes moved away to like another town or uni or something- it doesnt seem like hes gone completely or anything and I dont know if it will always be like that or if one day it will just hit me. But its not just that, its always putting thoughts in my mind especially when I am on my own. If Im with others or busy with something Im fine but when for instance I go to bed Im always thinking that it could happen to me and how my family etc would cope. And it seems like theres always people dying more since it happened and all the adverts about cancer etc affecting 1 in 3 and all that affect me a lot more now and Im always wondering and fearing something happening too me or someone close too me like my brother which I really could never ever deal with.
Its like evrytime I have a pain in my chest or a headache or something its always in my mind that it could be something bad. I mean someone else in the area who I dont know but recognise my age, has just being diagnosed with leaukemia and its just making me think over and over sometimes. Ive already had a blood test and an ECG through my worry a couple of weeks back and although at times and most of the time I am fine, I keep having these thoughts and almost anticipating something happening too me and I dont know if it will pass soon or what. At university they spoke to me and someone else about counselling and I just brushed it off really, I mean I know nothing about it or anyone whos used it or benefitted from it but maybe it is something I should consider? To anyone just looking at me or friends etc Id seem fine, its all just these thoughts in my head and worries about things happening in my mind where its all happening. It was the first time Id ever had to deal with death and I just dont know if Im dealing with it right or whatever. I mean I know theres is no "right" way but it all just seems so wrong.
Basically about a month ago a friend of mine Id known my whole life died in his sleep at 18, and I posted on here a bit at the time and as the days have gone on I still dont know really if its sunk in and Im always having thoughts I would never have had before.
I mean its like hes moved away to like another town or uni or something- it doesnt seem like hes gone completely or anything and I dont know if it will always be like that or if one day it will just hit me. But its not just that, its always putting thoughts in my mind especially when I am on my own. If Im with others or busy with something Im fine but when for instance I go to bed Im always thinking that it could happen to me and how my family etc would cope. And it seems like theres always people dying more since it happened and all the adverts about cancer etc affecting 1 in 3 and all that affect me a lot more now and Im always wondering and fearing something happening too me or someone close too me like my brother which I really could never ever deal with.
Its like evrytime I have a pain in my chest or a headache or something its always in my mind that it could be something bad. I mean someone else in the area who I dont know but recognise my age, has just being diagnosed with leaukemia and its just making me think over and over sometimes. Ive already had a blood test and an ECG through my worry a couple of weeks back and although at times and most of the time I am fine, I keep having these thoughts and almost anticipating something happening too me and I dont know if it will pass soon or what. At university they spoke to me and someone else about counselling and I just brushed it off really, I mean I know nothing about it or anyone whos used it or benefitted from it but maybe it is something I should consider? To anyone just looking at me or friends etc Id seem fine, its all just these thoughts in my head and worries about things happening in my mind where its all happening. It was the first time Id ever had to deal with death and I just dont know if Im dealing with it right or whatever. I mean I know theres is no "right" way but it all just seems so wrong.
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Comments
I have had counselling,and constantly see a psychiatrist,although this is not for the purposes of grief so I cant comment on that subject. For the reasons that I'm in contact with these people,I find them although slightly helpful,not exactly all that they're cracked up to be.
All I can say is that,I too have lost friends in tragic circumstances...one was murdered,and one died of a drug overdose...and the devastating feelings do get easier over time.
You never know. Counselling could well be the answer for you. All I can say is that there is no harm in trying,so give it a go,and if it's not what you need,then don't worry,you WILL come to terms with it all eventually on your own anyway.
Have a look in your local Yellow Pages. They will have a list of local Helplines for this problem.
All the best with it anyway mate - Mad Hatter. <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
This should really be in health I guess, but hey. Maybe one of the mods can move it later.
A lot of people tend to say that nothing can be done and that time will heal but its not good enough is it? You're right though, theres no right way to deal with death and everyone will deal with it in their own way. Worrying about getting ill is understandable, especially as your friend died in his sleep but you have to realise that you're healthy at the moment and thats all that matters.
It can't be a bad idea, anything is better than being sad all the time <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
*hugs narcotic*
Heres a link to a post I made in the Health Forum about grief counselling, by coincidence someone has brought it up today even though its quite an old post...
http://www.thesite.org/cgi-noperl/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=7&t=000581
Let us know how you are Narcotic <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
[ 05-05-2002: Message edited by: FireyFirenze ]
We have info on counselling here and bereavement here
It is a good option to help you work through your feelings.
Moving this thread to the health forum now
Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
As for counselling, I once went to a counsellor (for reasons that were completely irrelevant to this thread) and to tell the truth I didn't really get on with mine. The thing is though that I didn't want to be there and therefore was not willing to talk about anything with him. If you feel that you are ready to talk to someone about how you are feeling then I imagine that counselling is very good for you. I truly believe however that you only really get out of it as much as you put in. The more you talk the more the counsellor will be able to help you understand why you are feeling the way that you do.
My deepest sympathies for the loss of your friend ... I can fully understand what you are going through.
Good luck with the counselling.
Im so sorry to hear about your friends death and i can say that i can relate to it! When i was in hospital with lukaemia - for 6 whole months all i could see was these little kids playing one day and then one by one they vanished! they died! And even now i still think- 'why them and not me?' and i still fear the illness coming back or somethign equally nasty happening again to me , a loved one or maybe even my own children! I know how you feel! some councilers are really lovely- so i think its worth a shot ! good luck to you hun, xxx
but yeah, I've had counselling. didn't help me at all, but i know people who rely on it...
generally if you like getting things off your chest, and talking about your feelings, it should work for you.
I personally hate that, so it just made me really uncomfortable.