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I have to share...

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
I popped out to the local "shopping centre" (that's a stretch) on my break this morning and witnessed something so horrific and disturbing that I just have to spread the word.

Picture the scene, I have taken a shortcut through the smelly indoor market/shopping precint place when I hear a bit of a kerfuffle and do a bit of rubbernecking to witness the following:

In the blue corner, Meatloaf herself wearing a white cropped top with her friend who I sadly have to confess looked pretty "normal" (for Byker!). In the red corner, Vicky Pollard's bigger, uglier and even more eloquent sister wearing a lovely royal blue full La Coste trackie with gravy strains and scarecrow-esque braids. She was accompanied by another Meatloaf (I think this is what caused the whole thing to be honest, you can't nick someone else's style man!).

Anyway, from what I could gather from my gawping and questioning of the other assembled spectators... the normal looking girl said something about the other Meatloaf to her Meatloaf and Vicky Pollard's uglier sister saw her but didn't quite seem to hear what she said. This caused a confrontation of the two non-meatloaves in which Vicky Pollard's uglier sister was clearly winning so the Meatloaves had to get stuck in too.

There was a lot of shouting and some classic lines including "get back to Wally (Walker is an undesirable place in Newcastle) you scrote-chinned slag", "you'd suck immigrant dick for one off a fag" and - probably not the most well thought out insult from Vicky Pollard's uglier sister to the meatiest of the Meatloaves - "you shag scagheads, I should know 'cause you gave my brother crabs". Charmed, I'm sure.

There was a placcy bottle top thrown in the face of a Meatloaf which resulted in Vicky Pollard's uglier sister getting her braids pulled and then as if by magic, a security guard from Iceland (admittedly a highly amused one) came and split them up much to the disappointment of myself and the rest of the viewing public.

The final word came from Vicky Pollard's uglier sister's camp with "I would've smashed your face if me bus wasn't due" so sadly any further genius comments were drowned out by the hysterical laughter of the assembled crowd [there's not a lot to do round here].

I walked off in state of amusement which was unfortunately ruined by what I saw next. Vicky Pollard's uglier sister and the biggest Meatloaf of all ran past me for the 39 and I realised that for the duration they had had a little laddy of about 6 with them who had tears streaming down his face while they cackled about the how the other Meatloaf's 'belly's gonna get ya'.

What a life, eh.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh how I wish I lived in Walker:D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fucking classic. And full Lacoste? Classy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fucking classic. And full Lacoste? Classy.

    Dammit, I knew I didn't mean Lacoste or whatever it's called. I have googled and it was La Coq Sportif, apt :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I might have to take a dander back same time tomorrow and see if there's a rematch with their respective "crews". That's the way it usually goes down out here in the ghetto :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    haha i love chav women fights!!

    reminds me of one time in yates (the place to be to see this kind of action) where two women went at it, one of them shouting "its my fucking kid!" so the other one got all wound up and went for her, the boyfriends holding each other back, prams and cans of strongbow went everywhere. The other one shouted "you can have the little fucking c*nt".

    then they all had a cry, and a big family hug.

    i was in stitches and got to admit i shouted "bottle her!" at one point just to wind it up a bit more.

    i love chav women fights!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lesbian fights, especially round the pool table, are so much better.

    I was in the Gale last year and a fight was starting, cue 'butch' type striding towards other 'butch' type to which first 'butch' types gf let out a 'Leave it Deidre, she's not worth it !' :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    koe_182 wrote:
    haha i love chav women fights!!

    reminds me of one time in yates (the place to be to see this kind of action) where to women went at it, one of them shouting "its my fucking kid!" so the other one got all wound up and went for her, the boyfriends holding each other back, prams and cans of strongbow went everywhere. The other one shouted "you can have the little fucking c*nt".

    then they all had a cry, and a big family hug.

    i was in stitches and got to admit i shouted "bottle her!" at one point just to wind it up a bit more.

    i love chav women fights!

    :lol::lol::lol:

    Yes Yates IS the place to be for this shit. You're guaranteed some top action and the most cutting verbal abuse!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    Dammit, I knew I didn't mean Lacoste or whatever it's called. I have googled and it was La Coq Sportif, apt :thumb:
    God that's even classier. I did see a chav in Wigan in the full Lacoste tracksuit once though. Tucked into his diamond pattern socks of course, and sporting the compulsory Air Max's and Burberry hat. He was like a walking cliche. I actually pointed at him at one point. That shopping centre was like a chav safari.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This thread is the funniest thing I've seen all week. Briggi for post of the year! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahmagawd! Did it make you feel dirty after watching it?

    Only, I watched the Jeremy Kyle show today. No amount of scrubbing will make me feel pure again :nervous:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish you could get chav fights like that in Brighton, but then I tend to stay well clear of the chav pubs/clubs so I never see it when I'm out.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    briggi wrote:

    Vicky Pollard's uglier sister and the biggest Meatloaf of all ran past me for the 39 and I realised that for the duration they had had a little laddy of about 6 with them who had tears streaming down his face while they cackled about the how the other Meatloaf's 'belly's gonna get ya'.

    That is utterly heartbreaking :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    poor 6 year old.
    He doesnt stand a chance :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I saw Meatloaf 2.0 again today on my way to work, she obviously works at Gala or just enjoys hanging around by the staff entrance.

    Unfortunately since she clocked me giving her the stink eye I will never be getting freebie nationals again :impissed: :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure you'll survive Briggi.

    I love it when my boyfriend gets home every night because he shares with me the latest installments of tram chav bitch warfare. It almost inspires me to use public transport myself just so that I can hear the delights of the shottingham massive!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi wrote:
    I'm sure you'll survive Briggi.

    I don't know like! It's the only bingo hall within five minutes walking distance :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hahahahahhahahahhahaha!!!!!

    that was one of the funniest things I have ever read.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's great, this stuff is to funny.

    Geordie Chavs in bitch fight :D

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=1BOMoo1NfzY
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    What the hell is wrong with their heads???
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