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Ever feel annoyed with yourself?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So there's this guy...
Completely amazing, compassionate, driven, laid back, tolerent, understanding and sweet natured...
And he likes me, a lot and wants to meet me when I get off the train from London to give me a Christmas present.
The fact is that I've never met anybody so wonderful, I've never been called 'stunning' by anyone before that I recall, there's never been anybody so attentive to me either.
Does this ever happen to anybody and make them feel confused?
Ok ok, I know that a relationship would not work for several reasons (e.g. distance, I'm unsure as to whether I like men at the moment, I'm a wanker, I am always off hugging trees ect), but it sucks not knowing how you feel about somebody.
I think I am scared that somebody likes me for who I am...
I mean it's shit scary somebody wanting to be close to you and help you isn't it.
In short I'm a twatting relationship-phobe.
Completely amazing, compassionate, driven, laid back, tolerent, understanding and sweet natured...
And he likes me, a lot and wants to meet me when I get off the train from London to give me a Christmas present.
The fact is that I've never met anybody so wonderful, I've never been called 'stunning' by anyone before that I recall, there's never been anybody so attentive to me either.
Does this ever happen to anybody and make them feel confused?
Ok ok, I know that a relationship would not work for several reasons (e.g. distance, I'm unsure as to whether I like men at the moment, I'm a wanker, I am always off hugging trees ect), but it sucks not knowing how you feel about somebody.
I think I am scared that somebody likes me for who I am...
I mean it's shit scary somebody wanting to be close to you and help you isn't it.
In short I'm a twatting relationship-phobe.
0
Comments
And you forgot to put it in the right forum
put your self esteem issue to one side and just get on with it. he likes you for who you are - that IS a good thing. end of.
mind you, i cannot get close to anyone either. but never the less, thats my advice
I think you should see how it goes and stop being a scaredy cat.
good luck!!!
It may sound strange love, but there are some men out there who aren't total wankers.
I, on the other hand, am a total wanker
You should feel happy that there is someone like that.
Whats not to like - seriously?
Just cos youre a hippy tree hugger - so are plenty of other people and theres plenty more that respect that or admire it, even if they dont practice it.
And I have to say I was in a very similar situation a few weeks ago, for once I didn't let my phobias stop me and now I have someone who I adore
Chin up and good luck!
xx
I guess everyone gets this feeling now and then, nobody's perfect.
:yes:
It's so easy to say it, but don't be scared of new feelings - whether your own or other people's.
Try and play things by ear and just see what happens; you don't need to decide now, tomorrow or even in three months whether or not you want a relationship with him. Just revel in the fact that he does find you stunning and an all-round wonderful person, and try and start to believe that about yourself because you honestly are something else! Being comfortable in your own skin and in your relating to others will come with time I'm sure, but being scared and wondering "why me" is fairly normal I'd say, especially if you already acknowledge that you have issues letting people get close.
I wonder what the prezzie will be? /materialistic thoughts
The problem is we're good mates and we talk, but for some reason on hearing how he feels it has made me clam up. I guess that in some ways despite being the tough gal that people think I am, a part of me still feels vulnerable.
I don't want our friendship to be affected but now I'm scared for some reason, or maybe I feel guilty, I don't know. It's just I have never given him any reason to be attracted to me, I'm not a flirt.
Just because you aren't going around putting out the vibes and trying to make yourself attracted to people doesn't mean they won't be. In fact a lot of the time the people who aren't thinking twice about how they look or come across are the ones who people are most drawn to, and interested in getting to know!
Know what you mean, kiddo.
I'd rather let people sort of get to know this boy who drinks a lot and tries to be funny, rather than the real me.
I don't like people getting close to me either, or rather I'm really shy about it. I s'pose it's like a protection thing, so when things go wrong it hurts less.
That's a bit of a silly way to think though. I'm too cynical for my own good.
Yeah, I'm just being stupid I think, I don't know why I'm worrying.
I don't think you're being stupid at all, letting someone in is a very scary thing to do because you have to put all your faith and trust in something that you cannot control. If you let this boy in he could rip your heart out and piss all over it...but at the same time, if you let this boy in, he could make you feel whole and happy and human.
The benefits outweigh the risks, but even if you know that (and that's a fucking hard thing to learn) it still scary as shit. It still terrifies me sometimes, and I've been with her nearly six years.
I don't know why I feel upset about it, I guess I am just not used to people liking me like that.
Oh, I didn't even mean sexually, I meant just being intimate and friendly. As being friends is a big part of a relationship, even if you're not being sexual its still a big deal.