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Lonely
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all,
I'm almost 18 and I've never had a girlfriend. It's starting to get me down a bit. My early school days were not happy days, I was heavily bullied for years and years which has severely knocked my confidence. Add to the fact that I have Asperger's syndrome and it makes things harder.
I feel as if I'll never find someone because I feel as though all the girls i've liked have been on a higher "level" than me and so i'm wasting my time. I had a bad experience when I was younger when I asked a girl out who obviously didn't like me (although it wasn't obvious at the time), she basically took the piss outta me and stuff which hasn't helped matters.
So I've resorted to myspace etc to meet girls (yes I need a life, but I find it hard to talk to girls in real life, heck I find it hard to talk to guys whom i've never talked to before!) and for the most part I tend to get ignored when I say hi to people and that also erodes my confidence.
My "so called" friends also erode my confidence by taking the piss outta me for being ugly, or being a bit chubby or whatever. I'm starting to distance myself from these "so called" friends, but still it's all true.
I'm just feeling lonely and I dont know what to do about it... My biggest fear is that a girl laughs in my face (almost like the first girl I asked out) and stuff.
Sorry about this but I just needed to get it all out cause I cant really tell anybody about it all in real life, I'm too shy
I'm almost 18 and I've never had a girlfriend. It's starting to get me down a bit. My early school days were not happy days, I was heavily bullied for years and years which has severely knocked my confidence. Add to the fact that I have Asperger's syndrome and it makes things harder.
I feel as if I'll never find someone because I feel as though all the girls i've liked have been on a higher "level" than me and so i'm wasting my time. I had a bad experience when I was younger when I asked a girl out who obviously didn't like me (although it wasn't obvious at the time), she basically took the piss outta me and stuff which hasn't helped matters.
So I've resorted to myspace etc to meet girls (yes I need a life, but I find it hard to talk to girls in real life, heck I find it hard to talk to guys whom i've never talked to before!) and for the most part I tend to get ignored when I say hi to people and that also erodes my confidence.
My "so called" friends also erode my confidence by taking the piss outta me for being ugly, or being a bit chubby or whatever. I'm starting to distance myself from these "so called" friends, but still it's all true.
I'm just feeling lonely and I dont know what to do about it... My biggest fear is that a girl laughs in my face (almost like the first girl I asked out) and stuff.
Sorry about this but I just needed to get it all out cause I cant really tell anybody about it all in real life, I'm too shy
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Comments
I'd imagine this alone would be very inspiring to some people.
What you need is a new circle of friends if your mates are making fun of you, real friends don't do that. Your confidence would improve if you did.
I wasn't until university that I made friends who really made a difference to me. The old group I hung out in, certain members of the group were dominant and me being female and abviously the lesser of the species (according to some people in the group) was undermined. But in university I have met some lovely people... I swear the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thought I go to bed with at night is my friends and how much I love them.
I think that maybe your current companions were not doing you any favours. If you're distancing yourself, don't go off on your own. Just try and talk to new people, make new contacts.
C) Loads and loads of people dont deal well with school and dont really start living their life properly till they leave
D) Go out and join clubs, I'd recommend dancing, there is virtually always more women learning salsa or ballroom than men.
I know when you're 17/18 it is SO annoying when people tell you that you're young, and that there is so much time for all these good things to happen which you feel you're missing out on. But while annoying, it is absolutely true. 18 is no age at all, and for you is definitely a time when you should be focusing on getting to know yourself and improving the way you view yourself - rather than working yourself up into a state over what girls might think of you.
Now would definitely be a good time to start taking up new hobbies and pursuing new (or existing) interests, as budda said. Your current group of friends don't sound as if they're a great bunch, continue to distance yourself and hopefully in time you will be able to cut them out of your life completely, having found new friends and ways to fill your time.
Good luck with it, and don't imagine for a second that you're in this situation alone. Teenage years are damn hard, and there is no shame in finding it hard to cope. I hope things look up for you soon mate
It's true that people tend to become more accepting as they get older.
I tend to be very shy and find it hard to start a conversation with someone I dont know, and tend to feel awkard. I also have had speech problems when I was younger due to some hearing problems which makes my speech occassionally a bit rushed and thus hard to understand which makes me talk less. My "friends" also point this out practically every day which really ticks me off, and I am attempting to break away from them but they say that i'm just gonna be a loner with no mates, which is partly true, but I'd rather be a loner than hang out with those guys much longer (in case you're wondering why I started hanging out with these guys, when I met them at first they were a lot nicer)! When I (hopefully) go to uni in a year I hope to be able to start afresh and find people with more in common, like moonrat.
What Budda said.
Is there any reason why you feel awkward starting a conversation you don't know?
Dont worry about having a girlfriend might not mak you feel better, as it seems to me as if its your confidence that is getting you down.
Have loads of fun.. make new friends, take up a new hobby etc hope this helpsxx
Anyway, I don't think you should really worry about being too "afraid", or better yet anxious about being rejected or someone laughing in your face. If someone laughs at you, it makes them look fairly stupid. That's like someone laughing at you when you ask them what they did the other day. In my experience, when someone rejects you it's more depressing than it is embarassing.
Just because you havent bedded a hundred women doesnt mean there is something wrong with you, regardless of what the lads mags tell you every month.