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We've started our first discussion for our Christmas campaign which is focusing on religion or cultural beliefs that help you when you're feeling down. Some of the responses will be used anonymously on social media as a video. If you'd like to take part, head over to this thread.

How much of life is wasted thinking I'm a fool?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Do you ever think, you waste so much time in your life, so many moments, thinking that you might be doing the wrong thing? I dunno, I was just thinking about it now, and thinking I'm doing it right now. So, I decided to stop it and pick up my notes and started reading through them, well wikipedia anyway, I'm not sure where my notes are. To be honest if you look up 'vectors' in wikipedia it's university level pretty much anyway :).

I spend a lot of time reading, I just need to read the right thing. Before this, I was reading about whales, how they have a massive brain but their brain to bodyweight ratio is only 0.02% whereas humans is 2% - however as a vast amount of the whales volume is blubber where no brain control is needed that's not necessarily significant.Also, because the whales brain is ancient and hasn't evolved in the same way there's no telling what it can do.

My point anyway, is that I used to dream about acting (not actually performing, I mean doing dramatic things for real ;), like climbing up to a girls window with a bouquet of roses), but now I'm 'older' and able to do what I like, I don't do anything. And just sit here thinking I'm a fool. I'm trying to find excuses as to why when in certain situations I use 'politeness' as an excuse not to do what I feel like, people have even commented I appear 'too' shy as in a bad thing, and it still doesn't help. Is it just this fear of rejection by others, that if I do nothing they can't judge me one way or the other? The irony is, by doing nothing, people judge you as a boring imbecile, but maybe I like to think they think I'm mysterious. Maybe.

I'm at university and I seem to be throwing it away, through not doing anything, just sitting here. My room has been a tip for three days and I've been upset about it for three days but as of yet have not taken any action to tidy it. And whilst I could be about tidying it, acting, I'm instead sitting here just getting my thoughts across. I'm not eating properly, I'm not sleeping properly, I'm not socialising properly, I'm not even doing my uni work properly, and I'm trying to find something to blame because I can't understand why I'm ruining my life (to be dramatic).

Sorry about the rant, it was going to start off because a friend of mine got embarrassed by a friend of hers because she said to me if I love her I'll have to fight her to the death if I want to be with her. So I better not love her. I didn't know what to say, except smile and look at my feet. As the thread said, why do I spend so much time thinking I'm a fool instead of appreciating the humour when it's there?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you love her?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You sound a bit lost. You know what, there's nothing wrong with a bit of introspection and all, insight is a good thing. But, take it from one who knows, when you become paralysed like this actually DOING anything is better than doing nothing. It helps start to clear away some of the clutter in your head that is dragging you down. You just have to make yourself, somehow.

    The rest you can over analyse later. ;)

    Go on, go and do something, do ONE thing from your to do list.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tidy your room, it will make you feel much better. A walk round York helps too, round the Minster bit.

    First term at uni is hard, you'll get through it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you love her?

    She was my only friend here at uni :( I don't have feelings for her like that I don't think. But she's cool. Oops, I just saw her going to a lecture... one that I'm supposed to be in. Best get dressed guy.

    Today, I will do something :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been like you and have proudly exited the viscious circle. I don't know if I was better in the circle now in retrospect. One thing i know is that anything you do, you could always turn against you and blame it on you as a person. All you can do is be yourself, and try to lighten up a bit.

    I remember, i was a bit fanatic about this whole introversion thing. When i was little, i used to wake up and promise myself i wouldn't say a word unless directly spoken to. It never worked but it was an earnest endeavour. I used to think it was positive staying quiet, that people would become interested in me as a person.

    It didn't work that well. nobody want's anything to do with you unless YOU take the initiative. Otherwise, you'll get nowhere in life, social-wise and in many other aspects. It's better if you make a teeny weeny fool out of yourself and allow people to talk to you rather than just staying quiet.

    I agree. So much time is wasted, when it could have been done socialising or something else. I just think about all those sleepless nights i've had in the past. WHAT A WASTE! I'm just happy i realised it (not that it solved the situation...it just gave rise to other problems). ;).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was ok though, I used to be really quiet back when I was younger, but I was fine... then coming to University must have upset my psyche or something. I just can't speak heh. Which is why I was so keen to make a friend so I felt more 'relaxed' but I'm worried she doesn't want to be my friend anymore :(.

    I mean, at th society I go to I'm not like this at all, but we only have LAN parties every few weeks and dont see each other between then, I can't go three weeks without social interaction! So rather than jumping into a big crowd and shouting 'HELLO EVERYBODY!' (hehe, that dr. dude of simpsons...) I try and make eye contact / smile / make idle conversation with one or two.

    Going to finish tidying my room now. It looks slightly better already.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    coming to University must have upset my psyche or something. I just can't speak heh.

    I had this something rotten. No idea why! Had moved away from home to work before I went to uni, made friends and was fine. Got to uni and just clammed up. Only made one friend in the 1st term and then she left and I just couldn't talk to anyone! If people talked to me I'd smile and be polite and then run away! I ended up making a friend off my course via email and gradually started getting my confidence back. No idea what happened to me or why, but I'm sure you'll get through it...I did! Going to uni can knock you a bit sideways, try not to worry about it

    Don't worry about your room. Mine is a constant mess and it pisses me off so much but way too lazy to tidy it. Students are supposed to be lazy and messy. Embrace it :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, I'm a bit obsessive compulsive though and I'll lie awake at night thinking how messy it is. Best to get it cleaned up and feel organised :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    gah wish I was, maybe i wouldn't live in a pigsty :grump:
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