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is it too soon?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
right, newbie and proud of it for starters..

ive just got out of an abusive relationship, and ive met a really nice guy. we shall call him joe. joe is everything i could ever want in a guy, and about a week ago, he told me he was in love with me. i returned the favour. i know im lucky to have him, but at the same time, i dont know if im ready to go into relationship mode. i get scared sometimes by the things he says, not because theyre bad or wrong, but well, because i think he wants to go further than im ready at this moment in time. he says im worth waiting for.
i know this sounds like a stupid question, but should i go out with him? i want to, but im not sure im ready.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just in case this is relevant.. he was there through the previous relationship and he helped me get out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The last thing you want to do is to dive in to another relationship when you are on the re-bound. Have you tried to analyse your "in love" feelings for this guy? Could it be because he was around to help you get out of your relationship?

    It's generally a bad move to tell people that you sre "in love" with them before you are ready to go out with them & it sounds to me like you aren't ready <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; to dive in right now. You probably need to take some time to stand back & look at the view. IMHO you should wait until you feel ready & don't ever be bullied into a relationship, however the bullying may be disguised.

    Take care, I hope you're gonna hang around.

    j9


    MTS ^5 ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah its cool in here so i think i will.
    i am in love with him, totally head over heels. but i dont want him to think its rebound, especially if im not sure myself. and i think im reaching out for somebody to love me, as sad as it may sound.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by IcKleMoNSteR:
    yeah its cool in here so i think i will.
    i am in love with him, totally head over heels. but i dont want him to think its rebound, especially if im not sure myself. and i think im reaching out for somebody to love me, as sad as it may sound.

    I know exactly what you mean, my whole life has been relationships on the re-bound, maybe trying to rekindle the feelings of the first time I fell in love, maybe looking for the unconditional love that you can only get from parents.

    It doesn't sound sad that you are looking for somebody to love you, it's what most people spend their lives doing.

    I'm lucky now, I have found a guy who I know loves me, but it took til I was 30!! Looking back I wish that I had stopped & discovered myself earlier.

    I have no right to tell you to whether or not to go for it, but I would advise you to leave it for at least 28 days, then see how you feel.

    j9


    MTS ^5 ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx for responding <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    i am going to wait to see how things go, and he said that he would take things very slowly if things did happen. hes just an amazingly sweet person to me. he told me he loved me in september-not relationship-like. but we seem to be able to tell each other everything. and we do. i love him deeply, and i know that he feels like that too. which also worries me because i dont want to wreck it. but i think we have something here that isnt going to go away. and i dont think i want it to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Queen J9 is right, as always <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; Leave it for a few weeks, don't go out with anyone. And if you still feel this way (and I'm sure you will) consider whether this IS a rebound thing, you'll probably have more perspective by then. It sounds like Wilbur (I think that's a much better hyperthetical name, don't you?) is a great guy. Throw off your jacket and stay a while, Ms.Newbie!

    *|* Chica *|*

    Stay Calm <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow, u want me to stay? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    yeah wilbur is so much better. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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