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GETTING IN a relationship
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My problem isn't being in a relationship, it's not being in one. I'm 15, and although I'm not ugly I'm not too confident about my appearance. I mean, I'm quite small built for my age (If you know what I mean), and every guy that I ask out seems to turn me away because of this. They are fine to be mates, but nothing else. What am I doing wrong? Please help me, I mean I need it, right?
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If you're mates with lads then that's definitely a start, a lot of relationships begin with friendship. At the risk of defending the male of the species (I don't do that as a rule) they don't judge a girl *completely* on her physical appearence. I mean, I have a friend (we'll call her Aphrodite, I've always liked that) who wears glasses, braces, is a bit on the podgy side and can't say the letter 'r', but she really is one of the nicest, funniest people I know and switches boyfriend as often as that model Jordan who's just had her third boob op.
*deep breath*
And she goes out with the type of lads who think David Ginola and peashooters are still cool i.e. the ones who throw stuff at the teachers and insist on wearing baseball caps at every possible opportunity. The 'bad boys', y'know. And they're all great when they're going out with her. I'm thinking of switching bodies with her, but I don't know if you can do that on the NHS.
There's no '10 Steps To Getting A Boyfriend' that will definitely work, but just be friendly, as confident as you can (I know it's hard when you're feeling bad), and get to every party or possible boy-poaching event that you can. If you're school has those cheesy discos where everyone smuggles vodka im under their jackets to drink in the loo when they think the teachers aren't watching, go to them, loads of snog action, and the more snogging the boys see, the more jealous they get, and the more alcohol they drink, the more confident they get (unless they get thrown out), and the more likely they are to try for a dance, and therefore, they're much more likely to notice you, ask you out and 2 weeks later be bragging to their mates.
I've seen it happen. Even to 'Silent Sam' who never talks to anyone, she got asked for a boogie to a slushy Boyzone number (bleurgh) by someone and they've been together ever since <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
It'll happen for you, just be yourself (tacky, I know, but it's true.)
Good luck.
*|* Chica *|*
Stay Calm <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/mad.gif">
Or maybe thats just me !!!
It isn't your height! I'm 6'3" and I've never had a girlfriend. I think it has something to do with confidence, which J9 mentioned once before a month or so ago.
I'm the kind of person that comes across as shy and boring to someone who doesn't know me. But when they get to know me they know I'm not shy and I can be funny at times.
I think my problem and maybe your problem is that you have little confidence in yourself! I sure as helf don't have confidence in my appearance cause I got bullied cause of it. Did the same happen to you? Or don't you know why you don't have confidence in your appearance?
Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive