Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Condom troubles

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Really hoped I'd gotten past this. The whole retarded ejaculation thing is sorted. My girlfriend has no trouble getting me off with her hand or mouth. But then last week we tried full sex. I put the condom on and ... nothing.

It's like as soon as I take the condom out of its packet my willy goes 'Well what's the point?' rolls over and goes to sleep.

Think it's part psychological--it used to happen in my last relationship too--and part to do with the stopping of sensation. Any tips? Cheers.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about using a different form of contraceptive? Providing you've both been checked for STI's etc..
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you practise on your own? You can get the hang of things, and then give it a go with your lady.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OR try getting the lady to do it, use her magic fingers to your advantage.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OR try getting the lady to do it, use her magic fingers to your advantage.

    Thats what i was thinking
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    at least your trying, its bad enough getting my boyfriend to even buy comdoms, he just doesnt see the point + doesnt get why i dont trust he dont have STI's, its like i do trust you but i dont wanna take the risk of dying from being stupid and trusting you too much...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I asked her about the pill and she said she couldn't trust herself to take it everyday.

    As for the magic fingers, it sounds good in theory but there's the pre-cum issue if her hands have already been down there.

    And Playdead, did he at least offer to go to the clinic and get himself tested first? Cause if not you're definitely right.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no he didnt offer he was just like 'i dont have any how could you think i do?!' feel guilty now for asking speech which is quite anoying
    but i've started bringing my own so its OK, just expensive but yea and it doesnt like me as much but whatever, i've taken too many risks to do it again
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are other forms of contraception OTHER than the pill, how about the patch? IUD? IUS? The cap ,depra provera? etc etc.. Have you been checked out for STD's? Has she??


    Playdead- did you know you can get condoms for free from your local Sexual Health Clinic?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She should really be taking a secondary form of contraception as well as using condoms, to be honest.

    Pre-cum isn't an issue for rolling condoms on, tbh, as the condoms have a spermicide and she shouldn't have to touch the head anyway. It does help a lot to get her to roll the condom on, especially if she plays with your balls at the same time. You will find it easier if you practise rolling it on- the roll of latex should be on the outside as you place the condom on you- but they do take some getting used to.

    Playdead, you can get condoms cheaply or for free from the doctors or the clinic, but really if I were you I'd be telling him that if he doesn't wrap up he won't get any. He seems more interested in not wearing a condom than he is in your feelings- what a charming boy.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not the most responsible advice ever, but I find condoms such a dreadful turn off that I have long since abandoned the idea of them. Doubling up has obvious advantages, but it doesn't add up to 197% protection if you see what I mean. There are a lot of other contraceptive options you could look into, is she willing to consider hormonal contraception or isn't she keen?

    To try and rescue things with regard to using rubbers, definitely try getting her to put it on you. If you don't feel too bashful asking her/suggesting it then I have always found that putting on the condom while whispering some unadulterated filth in the bloke's ear or a bit of finger sucking (no, really) can rescue this kind of situation from the brink of disaster. Basically, taking the fella's mind off the task at hand is the way forward, whatever way she feels comfortable achieving that ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    It's not the most responsible advice ever, but I find condoms such a dreadful turn off that I have long since abandoned the idea of them.

    I think most people hate them, which is why most long-term partners move swiftly onto the pill. It feels nicer without them, much more intimate. The only advantage of a condom that I can see is not having any mess to wipe up. I'd rather wear a condom than wear herpes, though, so you do have to trust your partner.

    I never really bothered with them at all.

    Condoms alone isn't the best form of contraception, IMHO, because they're fiddly and too many people don't know how to put them on properly. And its too tempting to just forget about them in the throes of passion.
Sign In or Register to comment.