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In big trouble
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 20 years old.. I found out two months ago that i was pregnant. and i didnt tell anyone what was going on except the father.. by then i was already almost 3 months in, he wanted me to have an abortion but we couldnt get the money together fast enough, now im 21 weeks in and he's completely disowned me. I emailed my mom today to tell her, and ask her what i should do.. and i havent heard back from her yet, im afraid shes going to hate me. I think I want to keep the baby, but how can I when im all alone?
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Comments
Why would you want to do what he said?
If you want to have the baby then have it.
Support is always available. I'm sure your family will be able to help you out.
Hi there,
Welcome to TheSite. I'm sorry to hear you feel so alone in this incredibly difficult situation. It must have been horrible to have your boyfriend just walk away when he found out you were pregnant.
However, I think it's unlikely that your mum will hate you. Clearly there's a chance that she will be shocked and even perhaps sad about your news, but ultimately the chances are that as her daughter she will want to support you. Rather than waiting for an email response perhaps give her a call? You could arrange to meet her face-to-face so that you can fully gauge her reaction. Then you will be able to make a reasoned judgement about how she feels, and her intentions for the future.
It's important to be aware that no matter how your mum reacts, you don't need to face this alone. You may find the following helpful:
I'm pregnant what now?
Antenatal care
Healthy pregnancy
Parenting alone
At this stage it's a good idea to get in contact with either Brook - Advice, counselling and medical help around contraception, pregnancy, abortion and sexual health.Tel: 0800 0185023
or your local fpa
Information service on family planning and all aspects of sexual health.
Tel: 0845 3101334
to talk through your options.
You may find comfort from the experiences other people share with you, so perhaps stick around on the boards for a while
Later on, you might want to get in contact with Gingerbread Advice line for lone parents providing emotional support information and advice on rights and responsibilities. You will find more information about this organisation on the articles I've linked to.
I hope this has helped. Take good care of yourself
i may be wrong though.
if you want to keep the baby then you should do it for yourself no one else, at the end of the day its you thats the one thats going to be looking after it 24 hours a day for the next 18 years of your life, it is a big responsibilty (sp?)
if your honest with yourself you may find it hard juggling school work and a baby, if your three months gone now that means it will be due in about may june time, a crucial period in the school year. there is alot of help out there at the moment i.e day nurseries etc and hopefully you will receive the support you will need from your family.
however the key questions are do you think youll be able to cope? why do you want the baby? how will you earn an income? where will you live? and most importantly are you ready to "grow up"?
hope everything goes ok, good luck with whatever you decide
My friend last year found out she was pregnant 6 weeks into her college course. The father (is a bit of a prat, but never mind my opinion on him) messed her about something chronic, and she ended up keeping the baby,luckily though her own choice.
It washard, she missed some work due to appointments, and struggled with practical classes towards the end of her pregnancy, due to her size (and the heat here this summer, unfortunetly), and she had to take some time off work as well, but she's managed it. Her son was born in June and he's the loveliest happiest baby I know.
She's even managed to come back this year and continue her qualification, and although it's hard, it's possible, and if you want to keep the baby then I'm sure there will be plenty of people to support you
It's actually only 24 weeks in the UK, unless there is medical evidence that shows that having the baby would cause the mother severe physical or mental distress or that the baby would be disabled.
A little bit! In the UK, abortion is legal up to 24 weeks, foetal abnormality aside. Waiting lists can indeed vary on the NHS, however, privately, the cheapest abortion you can get is still in the region of £500, and the price goes upwards with changing procedures and gestations.
Nothinggoldcansay: if you want to continue with the pregnancy, there is help available to you. I'm not sure where abouts you live, but have you had any basic care yet, e.g. a scan? That might be a good starting point, where you can get additional information. Also, if you live in the US, there are local organisations which can help, I'll try to find out from some friends where they are.
I f you want to keep the baby you need to see your doctor sharpish too, to check you and baby are doing fine. He should point you in the right direction for means of support.
Has you mother got back to you yet? You could really do with someone loving and respectful to talk to right now.
In Oklahoma i cant get an abortion past 17 weeks, id have to go to Kansas and it would have cost me $1300, which i dont have, i dont think i could have an abortion anyway, do to personal ethical opinions.. anyway thanks for your help, and if you guys do find any sites that will help in getting government assistance or whatever, please let me know
Hope that helps!