lack of emotion...?

BillieTheBot · September 2001

recently, my mum has been all huggy with me and telling me how much she cares about me and worries about me. i hate it. i hate being hugged and all emotion-ey stuff, i dont know how to do it right. i feel like i have all this mad, built up emotion inside of me and i dont know how to use it, release it, or let it out. i hate physical human contact with people, i hate being noticed and cared for, what the FUCK is going on?

this cannot be normal, and it's really affecting me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">

Former Member · September 2001

It is normal that you reject your mom's affection. This is part of the Oedipus complex which constitues in a nevrosis every male human being develops during childhood to become independent from his mother. Don't think you are sick, happens to everyone. In short, its just a natural reaction. By building this rage up inside you, you actually want to tell your mom : 'hey look, i want my independence, and soon i will have to be on my own and lead my life and you won't be here, so please could you give me less affection so that I can get used to it later?'

I would say it could be abnormal if you reject everyone's affection, such as g/f or female friends wanting to hug you.

~There are three types of people in this world : those who can count, and those who can't.~

Former Member · September 2001

dude, i'm female. and hate all emotion.

Former Member · September 2001

Originally posted by Frankie Loves Maria:
It is normal that you reject your mom's affection. This is part of the Oedipus complex which constitues in a nevrosis every male human being develops during childhood to become independent from his mother. Don't think you are sick, happens to everyone. In short, its just a natural reaction. By building this rage up inside you, you actually want to tell your mom : 'hey look, i want my independence, and soon i will have to be on my own and lead my life and you won't be here, so please could you give me less affection so that I can get used to it later?'

I would say it could be abnormal if you reject everyone's affection, such as g/f or female friends wanting to hug you.

You sound like a psychology techer. My psychology teacher had a degree in psychology and being condescending. Sorry if that sounded offensive; I studied psychology AS and found it really degrading.

I guess I know how you feel Charley, in many ways cos we speak a lot online. The way I think of it is that somebody's plugged a bicycle pump into my ankle and is filling me with cold air, pushing my consciousness to the back of my head.

It's all part of the horrible package know as depression, like sitting in a corner and watching the world go by behind a grey tinted window. You know I'm here if you want to talk, it's cool to find somebody who understands (at least up to a certain level). If it's any consolation, I left college early today cos i felt so numb <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"> it's a horrible feeling.

So with one hand on the wheel
The other out the window
With a smile on my face
My middle finger up...

Former Member · September 2001

Originally posted by ~*LIBERTY*~:
You sound like a psychology teacher.

So do you. Everyone giving advice on this site sounds like a psychology teacher.

~There are three types of people in this world : those who can count, and those who can't.~

Former Member · September 2001

once something happened to me which made me lose trust in someone... I found thatit affected how I treated other people too, especially when I then felt guilty about how I was treating them. I'm not necessarily saying this is what happened, but maybe just think what happened around the time you started feeling like this, or maybe even actually decided you were going to be more like the way you are now.

Former Member · September 2001

It is normal that you reject your mom's affection. This is part of the Oedipus complex which constitues in a nevrosis every male human being develops during childhood to become independent from his mother. Don't think you are sick, happens to everyone. In short, its just a natural reaction.

Bollox! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"> sorry but just to let you know I'm male and I love me mum very much, best in the world and other soppy clichés. Stick that one where it doesn't shine, Oedipus!!

But I do agree it sound's like you're just trying to assert your independence, Charley. Maybe you should just try to have a word with her about how she treats you, I'm not saying get all emotional but you musn't end up shouting either.

Dunno what's made you feel like you don't want to be cared for or whatever, but you can tell that you need help, which is a good thing. There's lots of ways to find it, all over this site. Me best female friend doesn't want to be cared for either (I won't go into the details) but she's finding help and slowly things are getting better for her. What's garunteed though, is that bottling up emotions will eventually lead to a big eruption when it gets too much - don't let this happen with your mum because she's the only one you'll ever have and you can't lose her. Back away from her, sort your own life out, but don't push her too much.

Let us know if any of this makes sense or whether I'm talking bollox again. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Former Member · September 2001

Originally posted by Fookov:
Bollox! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"> sorry but just to let you know I'm male and I love me mum very much, best in the world and other soppy clichés. Stick that one where it doesn't shine, Oedipus!!

But I do agree it sound's like you're just trying to assert your independence, Charley. Maybe you should just try to have a word with her about how she treats you, I'm not saying get all emotional but you musn't end up shouting either.

Dunno what's made you feel like you don't want to be cared for or whatever, but you can tell that you need help, which is a good thing. There's lots of ways to find it, all over this site. Me best female friend doesn't want to be cared for either (I won't go into the details) but she's finding help and slowly things are getting better for her. What's garunteed though, is that bottling up emotions will eventually lead to a big eruption when it gets too much - don't let this happen with your mum because she's the only one you'll ever have and you can't lose her. Back away from her, sort your own life out, but don't push her too much.

Let us know if any of this makes sense or whether I'm talking bollox again. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

hi. thanx to the people who made intelligent replies <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> . hey fookov, do you like the foo fighters by any chance?

anyway, i think a lot of the stuff inside me has erupted repeatedly, but i'm at the point where people really are starting to show real emotions towards me, i can't handle things that i call "positive emotion", or something that invovles hugging someone else. it makes me feel so uneasy. whether its friends, family, potential partners, teahcers, or collegues, i just can't do it. does anyone know what is worng with me?

me and my mum have had a lot of arguements in the past year or so, over so many things, most involving my mental health and my choices in life, at the moment i just fake to my family that i'm happy and normal, (not that i do a good job), and then just blurt out my random insecurities to online friends.

i'm a fucking wreck, i really am. i have vague ideas how i got to be so screwed, but i miss showing human emotion. i am numb. literally, like a zombie or just some kind of freak.

i hate myself for this, i really feel that i am emotionally dead

[This message has been edited by charley (edited 23-09-2001).]

lack of emotion...?

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