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friend self-harms

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ok I'm at my wit's end. One of my best friends cuts herself... arms, her back, her legs, hips etc. I wanna help her but I just don't know how... says it some sort of 'release'. Anyone reading this used to do it? How did you get over it & what can I do? Any help greatly appreciated, cheers.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to self harm but as for stopping, I don`t think there was any real reason why I stopped.
    Yes, I hated what I was doing to myself but that didn`t stop me. Its like I just stopped.
    As for your friend, best thing u can do is not push her as this is likely to make it worse. Let her know you`re there for her, gently encourage her to talk about her problems and why she`s doing it, but don`t act disgusted every time it pops up cos this is likely to kill her self-esteem even more and that won`t help at all.
    http://www.atforumz.com has a self-injury section where u may be able to get some more ideas.
    "Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Fookov,
    I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I very much agree with Talyn, really you shouldn't be pushing her to stop. I know it's very hard to see someone important to you hurt themselves, but I also know what it's like to be the person cutting and feeling very guity when someone wants u to stop and u can't.

    "As for your friend, best thing u can do is not push her as this is likely to make it worse. Let her know you`re there for her, gently encourage her to talk about her problems"

    honestly I think this is the best thing you can do for your friend. http://www.geocities.com/self_harm/ oh and here is a site all about self-harm just so you can understand it alittle better.
    Your friend is very much not alone.

    Good luck
    TTFN
    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/catman.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey. i am real sorry to hear that your friend self harms. i dont really know what to say to you. i think the best thing you can really do is look at a lot of websites (there are loads out there, i'll find you some links). you might find it useful to talk to other people (on this site, for example) who have or still do it, me being an example. i'd be willing to discuss it with you, if you have MSN, Yahoo, or AIM. there are also a lot of threads on here about it, especially in the health forum.
    i dont think the best thing to do is to nag your friend about stopping, it'll only make her more stressed and want to do it more, i should know. just talk to her about keeping the wounds clean, and taking care of them. also let her know that she can talk to you anytime if she wants or needs to.

    welcome to thesite by the way <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    take care of yourself, keep in touch xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just wanna say thanx for the suggestions everyone. I'll suggest some of this stuff to her and I hope it helps, love her to bits and it pains me to see her scars, but some of the links have helped me understand what things might be like for her.

    Never have put pressure on her, I know that sort of thing can't help but she knows I hate it when she does it, but she also knows she has my full support no matter what. Anyway, I hope you guys are ok now about self-harm of are getting better. Again, thanx for your help! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fookov:
    Just wanna say thanx for the suggestions everyone. I'll suggest some of this stuff to her and I hope it helps, love her to bits and it pains me to see her scars, but some of the links have helped me understand what things might be like for her.

    Never have put pressure on her, I know that sort of thing can't help but she knows I hate it when she does it, but she also knows she has my full support no matter what. Anyway, I hope you guys are ok now about self-harm of are getting better. Again, thanx for your help! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;


    its no problem, dude. anytime <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should try and comfort your friend, don't pressure and definately don't belittle her for doing it. I know my mates have been absolutely useless about my cutting problem, but i am trying to get through. They haven't helped and i don't know who to turn to. Lets hope its easier for your friend (with you being there)

    Be supportive, find out facts, be there.
    Tourette
    "I must find a truth that is true for me......the idea for which I can live or die."(Soren Kierkegaard)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There may be self harm groups your friend could go to, try ringing the nearest hospital or your local MIND, they should be able to help.

    peacechild
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some info on self harm here too...
    http://www.thesite.org/health/headstate/self_harm.html
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