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Friends...?!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all
I'm a bit confused at the moment. I'm away at university and my boyfriend lives in another city. We've been together nearly 5 years and I love him to bits. I find it easier to be friends with males and have become good friends with a guy on my course. We hang out loads - in lectures, at lunch, in the evening. I've found myself getting annoyed about spending my time with him and other ppl (I'd just rather hang out with him), I can throw little strops and he caves in to my way of doing things (most of the time). Sometimes I feel attracted to him, I don't know what sort of attraction, whether it be in a friendly way and I guess I flirt sometimes. I don't know if I'm doing it cos I want to see if he'll respond to me or for some other reason. I don't want to ruin a friendship with him as we have to do a placement and we will be working together closely then. How can I stop feeling like this. Sometimes I think he's being more friendly, today for example when I gave him back his phone he touched my hand more than he needed to and also when I was looking and pointing something out on a pic, what does this mean? Is he just being friendly and I'm reading into it too much. I'm totally confused. Please help!
I'm a bit confused at the moment. I'm away at university and my boyfriend lives in another city. We've been together nearly 5 years and I love him to bits. I find it easier to be friends with males and have become good friends with a guy on my course. We hang out loads - in lectures, at lunch, in the evening. I've found myself getting annoyed about spending my time with him and other ppl (I'd just rather hang out with him), I can throw little strops and he caves in to my way of doing things (most of the time). Sometimes I feel attracted to him, I don't know what sort of attraction, whether it be in a friendly way and I guess I flirt sometimes. I don't know if I'm doing it cos I want to see if he'll respond to me or for some other reason. I don't want to ruin a friendship with him as we have to do a placement and we will be working together closely then. How can I stop feeling like this. Sometimes I think he's being more friendly, today for example when I gave him back his phone he touched my hand more than he needed to and also when I was looking and pointing something out on a pic, what does this mean? Is he just being friendly and I'm reading into it too much. I'm totally confused. Please help!
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I think I may flirt because I can and use it as a power thing. I don't think I'd ever want to do more than that with him. You ask about me loving my bf, I do, very very much and would also hate to ruin that. I do want to be with him but its hard being away from him. I just don't know how to stop trying to be so dominant, if I can then maybe my friendship will settle out.
If you have no intention of being with him then you should not be flirting with him, especially as he seems to like you more than as just friends. Perhaps you need to take a step back for a little while if you cannot control yourself enough to stop flirting.
If, on the other hand, you want to be with this new friend, you should let your bf know as soon as possible. Don't stray and don't cheat.
youre probably just subconsciously craving male attention because youre in a long-distance.
dont ruin your relationship with the man you love AND perfectly good friendship. just keep your little flirty feelings inside. and everyone says that no heterosexual male and female can be 'just friends' without fancying eachother a teeny little bit,theres one example.
I think you may be right about the male attention thing. I only see my boyfriend at weekends and I guess I probably do crave it during the week. I don't really think my friend likes me like that but he may be subconsciously responding to my flirting (its not really bad flirting btw!). I don't know what is classed as being friendly and what I'm doing that is flirting (its not so simple with men). Thanks for all your advice.
Men don't do that unless they like you, and if he's single it will be "like that".
I don't think being in a LDR is any excuse tbh, when I was in one I did miss having a warm body next to me in bed, but I didn't flirt with all and sundry.