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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006 in Sex & Relationships

questions about my worthiness have been answered firmly in the negative.

the GREATEST satisfaction i can take in the rest of my life will be to raise questions about other's worthiness. that'll make every day a joy. i havn't made friends for a long time because i have had other's questions imposed over my head for a very long time. when people question you, you don't want to reach out and say yes i like what you're doing here. you're compromising my integrity and dignity. to be questioned is the most degrading thing that can happen to anyone.

people got on with eachother around me when they answered eachother's questions. i picked up subconciously on it and it totally made me think defensive and the best satisfaction i had in each day was to show their judgment to be wrong and make them indisisive. and tbh break that relationship. i was deceivingly negative really. so not much satisfaction then.

i don't know a life other than to be questioned by others. are you (good enough)? i don't know what ppl have to offer when they stop questioning. is it just gonna b laughs or have i always missed some great ppl with endless personalities. i think i treated ppl's respect and affections as superficial and never really drew anything from my relationships. i was certainly very negative by the time i became the one and forgot about alex. things went downhill on a global scale almost immediately. but i never really thought i lost anything. it seemed everybody i had known had doubted and nobody laid faith. but i had endless faith in ppl and my personality refelcted that. it now counts against me - we know who you are, we hate who you are - will i love? no, never. questions. in my life time, there will be no doubt and that is what being a man should be about,

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

TheSovereign wrote:

questions about my worthiness have been answered firmly in the negative.

the GREATEST satisfaction i can take in the rest of my life will be to raise questions about other's worthiness. that'll make every day a joy. i havn't made friends for a long time because i have had other's questions imposed over my head for a very long time. when people question you, you don't want to reach out and say yes i like what you're doing here. you're compromising my integrity and dignity. to be questioned is the most degrading thing that can happen to anyone.

people got on with eachother around me when they answered eachother's questions. i picked up subconciously on it and it totally made me think defensive and the best satisfaction i had in each day was to show their judgment to be wrong and make them indisisive. and tbh break that relationship. i was deceivingly negative really. so not much satisfaction then.

i don't know a life other than to be questioned by others. are you (good enough)? i don't know what ppl have to offer when they stop questioning. is it just gonna b laughs or have i always missed some great ppl with endless personalities. i think i treated ppl's respect and affections as superficial and never really drew anything from my relationships. i was certainly very negative by the time i became the one and forgot about alex. things went downhill on a global scale almost immediately. but i never really thought i lost anything. it seemed everybody i had known had doubted and nobody laid faith. but i had endless faith in ppl and my personality refelcted that. it now counts against me - we know who you are, we hate who you are - will i love? no, never. questions. in my life time, there will be no doubt and that is what being a man should be about,

Are you high?

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

i was so naturally positive but can't be arsed to suceed since i moved to england 10yrs ago. i havn't had to try like others do so naturally. i always had the carrot because i was the stick that held it. long stick with unlimited points

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

TheSovereign wrote:

i was so naturally positive but can't be arsed to suceed since i moved to england 10yrs ago. i havn't had to try like others do so naturally. i always had the carrot because i was the stick that held it. long stick with unlimited points

So you are complaining that you have found out that 'to get anywhere in life' you have to put effort in, but you cannot be bothered?

I think this because you said

TheSovereign wrote:

i havn't had to try like others do so naturally

And

TheSovereign wrote:

i always had the carrot because i was the stick that held it. long stick with unlimited points

PS - your where is god post seemed to start off in the same way, is there something deeper and underlying your trying to say?

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

is there something deeper? nope my posts recently have become numerous and lack appropriate voice. these words mean very little without thought behind them. they must b hard to read. i hope things improve over time and things become clearer.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

And the point of this thread is??? Sorry I switched off half way through the drivel because I was sick of 'questioning' myself as to what you are trying to convey about yourself...being negative and losing hope is not part of being a man (unless you're an emo, in which case its a part of being boring). Don't forget, theres a samaritans phone box by Beachy Head if it ever goes that far. Peace,

James

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

yer i've rang the samaritans a few times. just to babble away with a thoughtless voice. it really all meant nothing, i was just wasting time inbetween jobs! pack in the mental health bullshit and get back to work. do people.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

I really don't know what you ar on about. Sorry to admit that I don't actually read much of your post. when you do post....it's cryptic and strange and I can't be bothered to fathom it all out.
If you need help from us and want attention, you may be better simplifying what you are trying to write. Come out and tell us what your problem is. You'll get a btter response and maybe even a kick in the right direction on how to get help.
Just a thought.

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

i'd hate reading what i write. it would do my head in totally. it has no voice or thought. it's confusing because it has no passion or meaning. but the content is something worth hearing i suppose. it might be interesting if it was said the right way.

vicky - i'm a looser baby

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

what is your point in posting it, if we don't know what you mean?

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

you say here that your using thesite as a sort of blog.

People when they come on here are either in a 'I need to ask for advice' mindset or 'someone is going to ask for advice on here - who can I help' mindset.

If you come on here and post half processed thoughts and ideas, people would be very confused - as they naturally will try to seek meaning in what you are saying.

As there is no meaning as such, people will get wound up and you will get replies along the lines of people asking why are you posting? - or worse... eventually you may start appearing on ignore lists etc.

However, if you did start your own blog www.blogger.com/start
people will go in with a different mindset, the comments people leave will perhaps be more attuned to the blog you write.

Put a link to it in your sig for example - at least this way people may read what you want to say more, and you also get it off your chest as well.

We will all always be here for you should you need advice guidance or whatever, but posting long drawn out posts that don't actually come across as asking for help or solving other problems would only cause more confusion than what perhaps they are trying to solve.

Regarding you being unemployed. Is there some charity work you could do? - Continue to look for paid work by all means, look in the local papers, go to the job centre (hey you might get lucky) advertise in your local shop as a handy man (or whatever your good at)

But if that fails, working in a charity shop would at least give you a sense of achievement, a sense of helping, a sense of pride, a sense of self, a sense of belonging - this would do great things for you to help you build your confidence back up.

You just sound at the moment to be quite lost - get a direction, get a charity job at least
They would love to have you, and whatever hours you can do - would always be greatly appreciated even if its only a few hours a week

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Former Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

October 2006

that was very good advice:thumb:

you put what i was trying to find the words to say for a couple of days really:yes:

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