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Not letting go
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is my first proper post, I've just replied to others before but could really do with some impartial advice.
Me and my ex were together for a couple of years, and he finished it just over a year ago. I was gutted but eventually met someone else and moved on. However I'm not with this person any more. Although he finished it my ex is unable to accept that its over and move on. He won't leave me alone. He rings me, texts me, emails me, turns up at my house, my work, telling me he loves me & wants to get back together, he made a mistake etc. Its too late, its over and I want nothing to do with him.
Some weeks I don't hear from him at all and then he's back on my case again. I've told him I don't love him any more and do not encourage him in any way. He's now started ringing my friends and crying on them. He's really starting to scare me. He goes between saying he loves me to saying what a bitch I am for treating him like this. Treating him like what? I've been nothing but honest with him.
Why can't he accept its over and move on? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am at the end of my tether.
Me and my ex were together for a couple of years, and he finished it just over a year ago. I was gutted but eventually met someone else and moved on. However I'm not with this person any more. Although he finished it my ex is unable to accept that its over and move on. He won't leave me alone. He rings me, texts me, emails me, turns up at my house, my work, telling me he loves me & wants to get back together, he made a mistake etc. Its too late, its over and I want nothing to do with him.
Some weeks I don't hear from him at all and then he's back on my case again. I've told him I don't love him any more and do not encourage him in any way. He's now started ringing my friends and crying on them. He's really starting to scare me. He goes between saying he loves me to saying what a bitch I am for treating him like this. Treating him like what? I've been nothing but honest with him.
Why can't he accept its over and move on? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am at the end of my tether.
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What confuses me is that you say he leaves you alone for a few weeks and then starts hassling you again. do you know what he does in these times? that might be the key to getting rid of him, i mean he might start goin out with a girl and then come running back to you.
For some reason he really does seem to think that he stands a chance with you, good for you for standing your ground and not goin back to him like i know people often do.
i think your friends should stand their ground with him if he's cryin to them
Kick him hard in the ball, may understand then that you want nothing more to do with him.
Can't think of anyother way of making he snap out of his Denial! Are you sure you not leading him on?? have you asked him why he finished with you in the first place?
maybe a few more details may help, Do you think he may hurt you sooner or later?
does he know you have a new bfs?
In the times he doesn't contact me I think he starts seeing other women. But I guess it doesn't work out? He says no-one matches up to what we had together, I'm not bragging, I'm just saying what he says.
I'm really not leading him on, I hadn't seen him for five months till he turned up at my work the other day.
He finished it as he had a lot of baggage to get rid of. I was fed up of waiting & we weren't getting on at all, arguing all the time & neither of us was happy.
When you say do I think he'll hurt me do you mean physically? Or if we got back together would he break my heart? I guess you mean physically. Well I do worry about what he'll do. He scares me sometimes. He wouldn't hurt my emotionally as I have no feelings for him any more. Even his abusive nasty emails wash over me.
He knows I was with someone else but knows we've split up. He was no different whether I was with someone else or not. He just changed the abuse - e.g. I was a dirty slag or whatever when he found out I was seeing someone. I'm a selfish bitch when I'm not.
I'm moving house soon & have changed my phone number but he rang some mutual friends (when he couldn't get through on my number) and said he was meeting me that night but had misplaced my new number, could they give it to him. He knows where I work though. We have a code on the door but when someone buzzes they get let in. I can't even relax at work now.
Sorry to whinge on! Thanks so much for your help & advice, its greatly appreciated. Its good just to get it all off my chest.
Also, do you answer his emails or text messages at all? I would suggest that if you do, stop, no matter how innocuous the message or how angry he makes you. Any response, even a negative one, will only encourage someone like this.
Best of luck. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">