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What to do what to do

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
in Sex & Relationships
Hmm i have a problem which is really shallow and i feel bad.

I really like someone, but the problem is i'm having doubts about the whole thing because he isn't well particularly good looking. Which i know sounds bad, but i can't bring myself to go out with him and don't want my mates seeing. I know it's something wrong with me, and that i should just not be so shallow, especially at my age. I feel really tight because i have such a laugh with him an stuff, but then i start to think about going out with him and i feel like i like him less.

I know theres no real advice apart from stop being such a shallow bitch but theres a part of me saying to not bother with him and find someone better (whatever that is!), but theres another bit thats saying to fuck what people think and to go for it.

Not sure what i was hoping to get from posting this but you never know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think you obviously dont like him quite enough to go out with him. Maybe those feelings will grow and youll start finding him attractive more and more.
    Feelings about someones looks can change according to how much you actually like someone as a person.
    Dont go out with him though if youre embarrassed about being seen with him. Thats not really fair on him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dislike you :/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it would be fair on him for you to go out with him.
    To me, if you like someone they are normally more good looking to you the more you like them, even if they aren't drop dead gorgeous.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you are obviously worrying too much about what other people will think of you and him. its something i used to be guilty of when i was younger but then you realise that its ridiculous because it should be about how you feel about him and if he makes you happy. also take a look around. would you fancy any of your mates' boyfriends? i often wonder what my mates see in theirs!

    when you get to know someone and have fun with them then they become more attractive to you but if this isn't happening then you cant force yourself to like him nor should you feel guilty about it. i have to say that when i have gone out with guys who i don't think are as attractive as my normal type then i often find myself fancying other guys and letting lust get the better of me which obviously is not fair on him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At the end of the day you need to fancy someone to make a relationship work. Unless you have been together 40 years and are the best of friends! You can’t help who you fancy and to be honest, I reckon you’d end up hurting him if you didn’t fancy him and still went out with him. So don’t get involved, let him find someone who thinks he’s gorgeous and has no doubts.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    VinylVicky wrote:
    At the end of the day you need to fancy someone to make a relationship work. Unless you have been together 40 years and are the best of friends! You can’t help who you fancy and to be honest, I reckon you’d end up hurting him if you didn’t fancy him and still went out with him. So don’t get involved, let him find someone who thinks he’s gorgeous and has no doubts.
    That could be her though. Just make sure you're absolutely honest with yourself. Do you think that because you get on so well and have a great laugh, that you should be attracted to him, but you're not? Or are you attracted to him, and you're worried about what your friends think? If it's the latter, you'll probably find that if you started going out with him, none of your friends would give a shit, and you'd realise how silly all your insecurities were. But if you're not actually attracted to him, you can't force it, and it'd be unfair on him to try.
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