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We've started our first discussion for our Christmas campaign which is focusing on religion or cultural beliefs that help you when you're feeling down. Some of the responses will be used anonymously on social media as a video. If you'd like to take part, head over to this thread.

Top Tips

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Anne from Swindon says :-

Take a metal cigar tube, fill it with 10 angry wasps and put the lid back on.

Hey Presto, homemade vibrator.

:D

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gamblers - For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 note to yourself by Royal Mail.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^^^ Miffy, you don't quite get it, these are supposed to be bad ideas, that one would work a treat!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Knock a pedestrian down with your tractor.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    never eat blue or red snow.

    people only seem to worry about the yellow stuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    koe_182 wrote:
    never eat blue or red snow.

    What's in blue snow ? Apart from being someones blue raspberry Slush Puppy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RubberSkin wrote:
    What's in blue snow ?

    Royal blood? :p
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    Viz top tips eh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grease the top 2 stairs when the mother in law/someone equally as worthy comes round
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Teh_Gerbil wrote:
    Viz top tips eh?
    PEOPLE whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job.
    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hahahaha thats awesome :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teh_Gerbil wrote:
    Viz top tips eh?

    Oh is that where it's from ? Someone told me about it ages ago, and just happened to think of it.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,243 Skive's The Limit
    Avoid arguments with the missus about pissing on the toilet seat whilst drunk, by simply having a jimmy in the sink. Easy.

    Use disabled bays to park. If a traffic warden catches you and asks what disability you have, say "Tourette's Syndrome, now fuck off you cunt!"
    Weekender Offender 
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