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Squirming.....help!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Everytime my boyfriend rubs my clit i cant help but wiggle and i have to make him stop even though im really enjoying it. How can i stop this from happening?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Drink.

    As in alcohol not water.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tinkerbell_23 wrote:
    Everytime my boyfriend rubs my clit i cant help but wiggle and i have to make him stop even though im really enjoying it. How can i stop this from happening?

    Well you could just not let your bf play with your clit ?

    .....Or show him how you do it yourself if you don't like the 'wiggles'? assuming you don't wiggle when you do it yourself? (assuming you do it to yourself?)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you rub your own clitoris, or someone rubs it for you, it rubs against nerve ends which are highly sensitive, giving you a form of sexual pleasure. There's nothing wrong with what's going on, but if it bothers you, just tell your boyfriend to keep his hands off!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get that. It's really annoying. It feels really nice and all, but cause it's so sensitive I can't handle the pleasure and have to make him stop.

    It's REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING.

    I'd just tell him to slow down a bit, be a bit more gentle and shiz.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get it too :impissed:

    but have no helpful advice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't say I have this problem anymore (hallelujah) but when I first started having sex I used to find too much stimulation of my clit pretty much unbearable despite enjoying it. I even remember bursting into fits of laughter on the odd occasion, which isn't good for a man's esteem. Basically you need to communicate with your boyfriend about it; I think it's fairly common that despite the majority of women needing direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, some of us are more sensitive than others and a sustained period of him just rubbing your clit is likely to be too much, all at one. What you probably need him to do is pay attention to the area surrounding your clit, too, and possibly employ a lighter touch. Technique varies a lot from man to man; some of them like to jab it like they're calling a lift, some act as if they're scrubbing a dirty mark off the wall and some just have that midas touch. As with all these things it takes practise and a lot of listening to your partner and responding to their response, as it were. We're none of us born good at everything bedroom-related, despite what some would have you believe!

    So yeah, as with all things sexual, communication is key -- you need to tell him that it's too intense for you before he potentially gets a complex about you stopping him, it might also help if you relax and just let yourself experience it. As I've always found if I start thinking about whether I'm going to come or not I rarely will, though if it's physically too much then no amount of "mind over matter" thinking is going to make a difference. I know you may think it's "unsexy" or not conducive to the mood to direct him and talk to him during the act, but being sexually frustrated is even more of a moodbreaker. Or you could always use the man's method and push his head down there, it may give you a more desirable effect ;)

    Can you get yourself off by, er, flicking the bean (to coin a disgusting phrase)? :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote:
    I can't say I have this problem anymore (hallelujah) but when I first started having sex I used to find too much stimulation of my clit pretty much unbearable despite enjoying it.
    :yes:
    I remember finding direct contact pretty uncomfortable when I first started having sex, but its weird - maybe it gets desensitised over time or something, cos it feels great nowadays :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    :yes:
    I remember finding direct contact pretty uncomfortable when I first started having sex, but its weird - maybe it gets desensitised over time or something, cos it feels great nowadays :thumb:
    Same here tbh. Its prob something that you grow out of.

    Although saying that, it still happens every now and again when I haven't had it in a bit :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    :yes:
    I remember finding direct contact pretty uncomfortable when I first started having sex, but its weird - maybe it gets desensitised over time or something, cos it feels great nowadays :thumb:
    Same here tbh. Its prob something that you grow out of.

    Although saying that, it still happens every now and again when I haven't had it in a bit :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am no clit expert, but maybe use a bit of lube, so the friction of the finger isn't so high?

    Yeah, I guess after some time you will just get used to it, tell him to make it slow and gentle, like... if you want to smear some cream on a, lets say mosquito bite, you just make a circular motion gracing the surface of your skin. Of course a poking-like-to-check-if-someone-is-still-alive-method will be a bit intenser.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote:
    I am no clit expert, but maybe use a bit of lube, so the friction of the finger isn't so high?

    Yeah, I guess after some time you will just get used to it, tell him to make it slow and gentle, like... if you want to smear some cream on a, lets say mosquito bite, you just make a circular motion gracing the surface of your skin. Of course a poking-like-to-check-if-someone-is-still-alive-method will be a bit intenser.
    HA!
    next time im getting some 'clit action' im so saying this to my boyfriend, in a seductive sexy voice "do it like your rubbing cream into a mosquito bite :flirt: "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blah wrote:
    HA!
    next time im getting some 'clit action' im so saying this to my boyfriend, in a seductive sexy voice "do it like your rubbing cream into a mosquito bite :flirt: "

    Hell, that conveys the message super-easy, there won't be anymore questions open, and it's funny too.

    You killed 3 birds, with one stone.

    bonus point if you commence round 2 with, "now poke it like to check on a motionless animal."

    Last but not least, the end-spurt, "tap it, like you tap 'high kick' when playing Tekken."

    Wow, I should write a book.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to tease my ex girlfriend cos she was so sensitive down there, and would tickle her and she'd be in giggling fits. I would suggest a bit of lubricant and ask him to go gently and focus less on your clit and more on the surrounding area. Also, if he puts his fingers on the skin around and rubs that, the 'hood' will stimulate the clit and in theory it should be less intense than direct contact (think the difference when you touch something with your bare skin and through clothes..)

    Good luck anyway :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think trying to touch around the area rather than directly on it is the order of the day, or touching directly over it, but not on it, ie with the outer flaps still closed over the top if you get what i mean - well I know what I mean anyway
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    I think trying to touch around the area rather than directly on it is the order of the day, or touching directly over it, but not on it, ie with the outer flaps still closed over the top if you get what i mean - well I know what I mean anyway

    I know what you mean and it was kind of what I kind of described. Use the labia majora! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what I find is that some firm to vigorous vaginal action takes the wriggles away, just fiddling with my clit mostly doesn't do it for me- I either get the wriggles like you or just get bored. Double action's where it's at, might take a bit of practice though, bit like tapping your head and rubbing your stomach, in ordaer to get a soft small motion on the clit and a big firm one in ya vag...

    sorry if that's too much detail but I likes to share.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote:
    Double action's where it's at,
    oh you filthy bitch!
    I cant BELIEVE you sometimes :o
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmm, well I've not tried that- but it's never to late to try something new *writes on to-do list*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    oh you filthy bitch!
    I cant BELIEVE you sometimes :o

    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what you mean, yeah i think if you just tell him to do it a bit more gently itll get better and then he can get a bit more "rough" slowly and you wont giggle!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Show him what you like?
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