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Problem friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not sure if this should be in here or in work & volunteering but basically i want to help my mate.
He's the same age as me (22) but has been in the same dead-end job for about 5 years now and i cant really see him leaving.
He tells me and my other mates about his ambitions and how one day he's going to buy a big apartment and a nice car etc. but no matter how much we tell him he doesnt seem to realise that he's never going to get that from the job he's in.
This job is just a basic job really. It pays just over minimum wage and the prospects for promotion are non-existent.
He's managed to get himself about 5 grand in debt due to high contract phone bills and his spending like he's loaded.
It got to the point where he was so far into his overdraft that all the money was coming out of his account as soon as he got paid but he was still left in the red. So he went to the bank who arranged a £4000 loan to pay off all his debts and tide him over, only now he seems to be still spending a fair wack - mostly on fruit machines and buying other people drinks trying to act the big man while we're out so i can't see this loan lasting very long.
He's always on about finding a new job that pays well but he doesnt take the oportunities gifted to him. For example, another of my mates is now a fully qualified plumber working for a company and he offered to get the guy on an aprenticeship which even on a starting wage is more than he gets now but he just didnt make the effort to turn up.
He's just digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole of debt as each month goes by and i can't see him ever having a decent life if he doesnt pack in this job and get one with prospects for the future.
But how can i help? All of us (me & other mates) have told him what he needs to do and offered help in every way we can to get him sorted but it just gets thrown back in our faces because he seems either too stuborn or to lazy to accept our help or take a chance in a new job.
He's the same age as me (22) but has been in the same dead-end job for about 5 years now and i cant really see him leaving.
He tells me and my other mates about his ambitions and how one day he's going to buy a big apartment and a nice car etc. but no matter how much we tell him he doesnt seem to realise that he's never going to get that from the job he's in.
This job is just a basic job really. It pays just over minimum wage and the prospects for promotion are non-existent.
He's managed to get himself about 5 grand in debt due to high contract phone bills and his spending like he's loaded.
It got to the point where he was so far into his overdraft that all the money was coming out of his account as soon as he got paid but he was still left in the red. So he went to the bank who arranged a £4000 loan to pay off all his debts and tide him over, only now he seems to be still spending a fair wack - mostly on fruit machines and buying other people drinks trying to act the big man while we're out so i can't see this loan lasting very long.
He's always on about finding a new job that pays well but he doesnt take the oportunities gifted to him. For example, another of my mates is now a fully qualified plumber working for a company and he offered to get the guy on an aprenticeship which even on a starting wage is more than he gets now but he just didnt make the effort to turn up.
He's just digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole of debt as each month goes by and i can't see him ever having a decent life if he doesnt pack in this job and get one with prospects for the future.
But how can i help? All of us (me & other mates) have told him what he needs to do and offered help in every way we can to get him sorted but it just gets thrown back in our faces because he seems either too stuborn or to lazy to accept our help or take a chance in a new job.
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Comments
You lot tried turning down drinks etc. that he offers to buy you? I mean, I know it's only a small cost for him, but it all adds up.
I think it's HIS attitude that is the problem. He just doesn't seem the kind of guy (from what you've said) that will bother to change his job and lifestyle. Sounds like he's in a comfort zone with his current job.
Tbh, not much you can do apart from give him a kick up the arse. But then again, it's not really you're job as he is a *responsible* adult. He not got any parents/family who have tried encouraging him to aim higher job wise and to motivate himself?
Agreed. You've offered him some good support/advice and he doesn't want to take it. Not much you can do in this situatuion, except know you've done what you can.