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Feeling idadequate
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My penis is too small, how can I enlarge it?
FIrstly, I apologize, I may sound a little up my own ass concieted. I know its annoying and deserves the ol :rolleyes: But anyways, in sex, hence the placement of this topic, I've always considered myself alright. I know I'm far from the best but what I do I do pretty well. And everybody has the little things that they do *very* well. I used to get told how good I was at certian things, and multiple people always said the same thing so I started feeling good about myself and perfecting things. And the men were always curtious too. Always with a thank you and that was real good when you did that. Now I feel so lame and inadaquate. Even more so than I do about my spelling. I never once have gotten a I enjoyed that. I say it to him, but I rarely even get so much as a satisfied sigh after. And its not just because of that, I don't mean to be needy, but I feel so unsatisfying also. I"ve talked to him several times about it, how I feel and he tells me its all in my head, "your fine" he says. Real uplifting![:\](https://community.themix.org.uk/plugins/emojiextender/emoji/twitter/confused.png ":\")
Its hard to explain, I just don't feel like I'm good at sex anymore.
Just as an example (sorry for the nasty graphic) I'm on so its blowjob time. I did my thing, these are one of the things I was always confident about. And just nothing. I think he just gave up on me in the end. All the motions seemed to happen that happens when he comes, the sounds, the feelings, the tightening/releasing/throbbing thing. But nothing. He's all, yeah, I came without cumming or whatever. I roll my eyes, I don't believe in that crap. I think he just gave up on me and faked one
And it always happens. My legs go out before they should, so does my jaw, my stomach... and its really starting to depress me. I don't even want sex anymore. I havn't for a while, just havn't had the desire for it in the slightest, and I think this is one of the reasons. I dont' think I'm any good anymore. I lost it 
FIrstly, I apologize, I may sound a little up my own ass concieted. I know its annoying and deserves the ol :rolleyes: But anyways, in sex, hence the placement of this topic, I've always considered myself alright. I know I'm far from the best but what I do I do pretty well. And everybody has the little things that they do *very* well. I used to get told how good I was at certian things, and multiple people always said the same thing so I started feeling good about myself and perfecting things. And the men were always curtious too. Always with a thank you and that was real good when you did that. Now I feel so lame and inadaquate. Even more so than I do about my spelling. I never once have gotten a I enjoyed that. I say it to him, but I rarely even get so much as a satisfied sigh after. And its not just because of that, I don't mean to be needy, but I feel so unsatisfying also. I"ve talked to him several times about it, how I feel and he tells me its all in my head, "your fine" he says. Real uplifting
Its hard to explain, I just don't feel like I'm good at sex anymore.Just as an example (sorry for the nasty graphic) I'm on so its blowjob time. I did my thing, these are one of the things I was always confident about. And just nothing. I think he just gave up on me in the end. All the motions seemed to happen that happens when he comes, the sounds, the feelings, the tightening/releasing/throbbing thing. But nothing. He's all, yeah, I came without cumming or whatever. I roll my eyes, I don't believe in that crap. I think he just gave up on me and faked one
And it always happens. My legs go out before they should, so does my jaw, my stomach... and its really starting to depress me. I don't even want sex anymore. I havn't for a while, just havn't had the desire for it in the slightest, and I think this is one of the reasons. I dont' think I'm any good anymore. I lost it 0
Comments
I think you need to think about whether hes satisfying you, rather than what can you do more to satisfy him. He seems really sexually lazy I think. No wonder its nibbling at your self esteem.
I dont know what to suggest except, just dont have sex with him and see what happens or try new things you havn't done.... suprise him
I couldn't agree more. Manda, hon, honestly I think it's much more about how much he's satisfying you than the other way round. And I think not only in sex he may not be satisfying, but in the more wide sense of the word of 'having fun'. He's doesn't seem to be entertaining to be with, you seem to get bored with him (at least from other posts you've made). This is what worries me most tbh.
So I want things, sex, entertainment wise, but I dont' want anything without him. He makes me happy.
Several, probaboly close to a dozen times I've had the sex conversation. What I want. Hes never told me anything more that he wants. I ask, he says I don't know, like always. I take into consideration what he doesn't like. (giving oral) I tell him I know he doesn't like doing it so I don't even want it. Its true too, I'd probably by now just feel ackward with someone between my legs. All conversations, no matter how adult I try to make them be just end up in my crying and trying to be alone. He tells me I make him feel like crap with what I say, then I feel bad for making him feel that way and still feel shit because I know I'm still unsatisfied. I know by now things will probably never change. I want so hard for them too.
The last time we talked about things it seems like he is starting to try. He actually kisses, more than a peck. But by now it just seems ackward. Its like, its never happened before and now its weird. As I said, I want so much more. Sexual, entertainment... i dont know what else, but I don't really want it with anybody else and I just don't know what else to do.
A friend and her boyfriend had a similar problem. Not in the sack, but he (we had a topic about that), never said that he loved her and she was serioulsy considering to dump him after several months, even tho I could see he was very interested in her, was in fact in love with her, cared for her lots and tried his best to make it work/make her happy.
Girls are more complex in that kind of relations, they need more feedback, more "I enjoyed that." Of course we need it too, but I think female satisfaction is much more complex and consists out of many many little things (hence the stereotype "men are so dull and emotionless").
I am sorry that I cannot give you proper solutions here, since you tried already what I'd suggest and moreover I don't have much experience with that on my disposal, all I can tell you - imho - is that the problem is not on your side, if you were honest with us.