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how do i.....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am a single Woman living in New York City. Heres my problem I am almost 30 and still a Virgin . I want to be intimate but am nervous because i lack the experience ,will i be good and will it hurt. What would a guy think of a girl who is 30 and still a virgin. Most people would say are you waiting for marriage and no i am not!I just never fell in love and didn't want a one night stand.Plus its hard to meet someone in New York.I want it to be special but now i just don’t want to wait... i want to feel and explore that closeness you can have with someone else (A Guy). I didn't date till i was 20 i was still at home and my parents were strict. Then i went to college but I was shy so that didn't help either meeting the guys.Then i was focused on getting a degree/career(Bachelors). Then i got a job in my field but i didn't date much.Then i move out and went back to school. I thought that it would be easier now that i live on my own and then i thought maybe i will meet someone went i went back to school for my Masters but it didn't happen i was too busy with school and work. So now i am done with school and i have met some guys but i am afraid. I have not fallen in love or really been in a long relationship? I don't want to be scared and just want to experience it . How can i face my fears and be comfortable enough to tell someone i am a virgin ?I never fell in love .I tried to believe in love but it never crossed my way.
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And as for the virginity thing, don't sweat it. If you find the right guy, he's not going to be bothered. In fact, some guys will even prefer it. You just need to meet more guys, go on more dates, until you find someone you are comfortable with.
Maybe it will be useful to have a read of the article Being a virgin and Am I ready for sex?
All the best
:chin: yeah i read those....thnxs its just hard to talk about when i dont know anyone in my position
thnxs
anyways thnxs for the advices i'll try that and hoepfully it will work
Who are you on about?!?!
I know this is going to sound really cheesy but... you have to be comfortable with yourself first. If you're not comfortable with who you are and happy with being yourself, then emotional and sexual intimacy will be hard. That makes sense. I may be wrong about this one (and tell me so if I am), but I don't think you are yet.
I think there is something very admirable in waiting to have sex with someone who you actually love as opposed to some random. And you also have the advantage of being emotionally mature enough to deal with sex which many people don't the first time they have sex. When you find the right guy who you've been waiting for, if he really is the right guy then whether or not you are a virgin will not be important. The right guy will respect the decision you have made and the respect that you have for yourself. And I believe it's worth waiting for that. Why should you give in and have sex with just some guy after you've been waiting this long for something special?
As for your performance your first time round, the right kind of guy who knows it will be your first time having sex will be gentle and caring. I think most people's first time does hurt, but I have heard people say that it didn't the first time they had sex. So it might not, especially if you are really comfortable with the guy you are with and therefore really relaxed about it all.
Love Mila
if you believe in fate, then what you are doing is wonderful and meaningful and you will meet Him.. good luck!