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Do you tell your bf that you are a virgin when you have your first time sex?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My best friend had her first time sex 2 dasys ago but she did not tell her bf that is her first time sex. Her bf did not notice her in a lot of pain and keep telling her that she is very tight. She didnt bleed. After finished, he still don't know she was a virgin although he is having a lot of experience in sex.

How about you?

I also dont like to let to let my bf know I am a virgin when I want to lost my vaginity to him later. Will he know if I also didnt bleed?

Comments

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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi ya,
    Whether you tell your boyfriend is up to you - not everyone bleeds the first time they have sex as, the bleeding occurs when the hymen is broken and there's a chance that will have already happened through using tapons or certain types of exercise. Even if you do bleed, it might not be enough for him to notice.

    However, just because someone may decide to not tell their boyfriend, it doesn't mean they shouldn't be open to talk about what might feel good, or might hurt. Sex can be uncomfortable whether you are a virgin or not, and I'm not telling you this to put you off or worry you in anyway - it's just to emphasise how important it can be to have good communication when you're having sex. It's also good to understand that there is no shame in being a virgin whatsoever so if you are worried that your boyfriend might think there is something wrong it, if you admit you are a virgin, then you might need to consider if this guy is really mature enough.

    You may find the following articles helpful:
    Being a virgin

    Am I ready for sex

    Risky sex

    Take care :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's impossible to say if he'd know; even if you don't bleed. He'd definitely be aware that you were nervous, tense and inexperienced which might lead him to that conclusion.

    To be honest I think it's in both people's interests to disclose that kind of information; there's no shame in it, he's not going to think any less of you (and if he did then he wouldn't be worth having sex with anyway) and it will make it a more enjoyable experience for you while certainly not detracting anything from his experience... it might even turn him on ;) But if you don't want to tell him, that's fine. It is your business and your business alone when it comes down to it.

    When I lost my virginity the fella in question knew.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're about to have sex with someone, the least you can do is be mature and honest.
    There's nothing to be ashamed about.
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    smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    You'd might as well be honest with him. Also i don't think that you will be able to fool him as he will pick up possible signs that you are a virgin.

    Why do you not want to tell him? What do you think he will say?

    I think the majority of people on this forum will advise you to tell him !!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd tell him, even if it's not in so many words, like when he asks what do you like, you say I don't know not done this before.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I told mine, he was great about it too, we took it slowly, and kept on asking me if I was ok :) I would recommend telling him personally.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mine knew. Id tell him - if he is a half decent person he will understand as as people have said before perhaps feel special and trat you with perhaps more "care". tbh im surpirsed your mates bf didnt know because even if it doesnt hurt and you dont bleed (though quite unlikely that it wont hurt AT ALL) you will possibly be wuite tense, nervous and not really know what your doing/how you like it. Im sure he will understand and be great about it.

    Good luck xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't understand why you wouldn't tell him. I mean, if it was a one night stand thing, then fine, but you should have trust with your bf.

    What's he going to think of you when you tell him in ______weeks/months/years time?

    I think its best to tell as he can take more care, so its not JUST a fuck for him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I do eventually lose my virginity, the guy I do it with will know everything about me, and I hope visa versa. If he doesn't know that one thing, then he knows nothing about me....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jenni30 wrote:
    tbh im surpirsed your mates bf didnt know because even if it doesnt hurt and you dont bleed (though quite unlikely that it wont hurt AT ALL) you will possibly be wuite tense, nervous and not really know what your doing/how you like it. Im sure he will understand and be great about it.
    But I suppose some people are like that with a new partner anyway, it doesn't necessarily have to be your first time. I've heard people say they're like this the first time they have sex with someone new after getting out of a long relationship, for example.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    smitherz wrote:
    Why do you not want to tell him? What do you think he will say?

    I think the majority of people on this forum will advise you to tell him !!

    He had sex with her ex-gf (she was a virgin) before and he need to stop due to it is too painful for her and he need to stop. He said that he cannot enjoy that time. I love my bf a lot and want him to enjoy sex when we are having sex for the first time. If he know I am a virgin, he need to do it very gentle and very slow, this make him not going to enjoy it.

    If he don't know that is my first time, he will just push his penis in all the way in 1 or 2 thrust and start the in-out movement immediately, I think he will be able enjoy it. I only affraid he notice that I am a virgin once I bleed. I am also very scare about the how much pain I need to handle as he is very very big. My best friend bf only having a small penis already make her feel like her vagina going to split.

    I have some more question:
    1) Any advise whether I can handle the pain when he first thrust enter me all the way in? How much pain is it?
    2) Will my hymen stop him from entering me? (I am sure that my hymen still there)
    3) Will he notice I am a virgin from my vagina tightness?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sex is about you both enjoying it not just him.
    If your friends bf didn't enjoy it because he couldn't bang away to make himself cum then hes a twat who doesn't care how she feels.
    You shouldn't be sleeping with someone who couldn't give a toss how you feel.
    As for how much it hurts. It's totally depends on you, we are all different.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    Sex is about you both enjoying it not just him.
    If your friends bf didn't enjoy it because he couldn't bang away to make himself cum then hes a twat who doesn't care how she feels.
    You shouldn't be sleeping with someone who couldn't give a toss how you feel.
    As for how much it hurts. It's totally depends on you, we are all different.


    My bf care my feeling actually, I want to let him enjoy it only. I also heard that how much it hurts is depend on me, I just don't know how much different in pain if he insert his penis slow and gentle if compare to he do not know I am a virgin a direct thrust it all in until the bottom in a hard thrust?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if he cares about your feelings you have no reason to worry about if he enjoys it or not.
    Taking it slow to start with doesn't make it crap, especially if you care about that person.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah I tell them all im a virgin :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do any of them ever believe you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he really cares about you, he isnt going to care if you are a virgin or not.

    Sex is good whether he goes gentle or not. If he knew, I'm sure he would be fine with it, and he will be able to have banging sex a few times into having sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally i would say...definitly tell him!
    i lost mine to my bf last night,and if he hadnt of known im sure he would of guessed!haha..
    1st times can be painful so its best hes aware so that he can be gentle and not hurt you.
    switch the situation...how would u feel if he was the virgin and didnt tell you...would u want to know?i know i would.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It will hurt a lot more if he just goes 'banging' away without any thought to gentleness or taking it slowly.
    The thing is, you only get one chance at your first time, so it's good to make it as pleasant as it can be.
    It sounds like your boyfriend is quite insensitive if the best he could say about a previous girlfriends first time was that he didn't have a good time because she needed him to be gentle. I also think that he might not have a choice when the time comes, you might not be able to let him got fast and furious, however much you might want him to be able to do that. Plenty of time for fast sex once you have your first few times under your belt :)
    Also bear in mind that it might not hurt at all, I do know a few people for whom it didn't, so you could be a lucky one!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    like people have said its personal preference

    but maybe he`d have been a little more understanding and gentle if she`d have told him!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DP, sorry x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd say tell him, i didn't tell my boyfriend cause he was quite a bit older and i felt quite stupid. I told him a while later and he was totally fine with it, but i do wish i'd told him at the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SCC - Is that before or after you introduce them to Lenny :p?

    Mine knew. And he took it really slowly. It still really hurt and stuff. Then again I was really tense and shiz, so *shrugs*.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think your friend should tell her boyfriend that shes a virgin. my current girl told me shes a virgin early in the affair. when we finally got in bed, we *ahem* made love on her terms. we didnt do much penetration cos she was hurting a bit, so we decided to take that slowly, but she loved getting her pussy eaten out, all night and all morning, and i love eating her sweet immaculate pure vagina.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yum. Thanks for that
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yum. Thanks for that

    :lol:

    Maybe he could draw a chart for us?
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    StrubbleS wrote:
    :lol:

    Maybe he could draw a chart for us?

    Or just keep it to himself maybe :chin:
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