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Coping With A Break Up?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What's the best way to get over and stop thinking about your ex after youve finished together? I finding it really really hard at the moment, i cant eat anything, ive been physically sick, and i cant get her out of my head.

Need some nice advice please.

Thanks, Brad.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Time to wallow, comfort food, time with friends and family, making sure you dont sit around in self pity for too long by getting out of the house, looking on the bright side, and most importantly; time
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Exercise is good for getting over a break up. Good for releasing stress. When things annoy me now I go swimming. Bit crazy, but somehow it works. Makes you feel good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.mudlists.com/album/albums/David%20A%20Hardy/99-03-0010.JPG

    buy that. It's a 10.000 pieces puzzle with very few and dark colours. If you finished it, you are over her.
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    NellieNellie Posts: 9 Confirmed not a robot
    Hi brad18,

    It's always difficult [URL=":[URL="http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/acceptingitsover"]accepting that a relationship is over[/URL], even if you know that the relationship wasn't working and that breaking up was for the best. You share so many things when going out with someone, thoughts, ideas, plans, ambitions etc and it's hard trying to come to terms with the fact that you will no longer be sharing those things with that particular person.

    That doesn't mean that you won't be able to share these things with someone else though. In time it will get easier recognising that there are other people who you can become that close to. This doesn't necessarily mean another girlfriend either. Take this opportunity to draw closer to friends and family. Do things for yourself - indulge in things that make you happy. You deserve to spoil yourself, you're going through a hard time.

    Unfortunately there's no magical cure for what you are going through presently but it will get easier and you will feel yourself again before too long. Hang in there and remember...treat yourself to those things that make you happy :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks Nellie :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    brad18 wrote:
    What's the best way to get over and stop thinking about your ex after youve finished together? I finding it really really hard at the moment, i cant eat anything, ive been physically sick, and i cant get her out of my head.


    Add crying to that and i am right there with you right now! :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go to the gym and work your ass off. failing that go out with your mates and get wasted. works for me.
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    smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    yup gym :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gym followed by a 2 week long bender worked for me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Things that i slightly working:

    CRYIN MY EYES OUT
    LOUD MUSIC
    WORKIN MY ASS OFF AT THE GYM


    Just cant eat or sleep properly yet :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    end of the day mate she obv doesnt give a fuck about you so why should you about her?
    did you really think this girl was 'the one' who you were going to settle down with and marry? :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The gym is the last place I want to be after a break-up. Get out into the big, wide world. Go for walks, do a bit of travelling in your local area, get back in touch with mates you haven't seen for ages. Keep yourself busy.

    When I split up with my ex my friends took me to loads of stand-up comedy nights. Occasionally they cheered me up... most of the "comedians" made me feel even more miserable, depressed and despairing of the world :razz:

    Oh, and if creating a dartboard with your ex's face on it seems like a good idea, do it. Very theraputic, but only really works if you're in the RAGE phase of coping.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just keep urself busy. the gym is def one way to forget bout someone for a while
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JJ454 wrote:
    Gym followed by a 2 week long bender worked for me.
    Agreed, this situation calls for whiskey and lots of it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A packet of Lucky Strike, each lit with a match (since given up!), and one of those steak bakes from Greggs. Did the job. Mind you, I guessed a week beforehand, which made it easier.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went through something similer in may and my biggest problem was i had to constantly see her for the next month afterwards, i found that going out with mates all the time doing something really fun that you enjoy pushes it to the back and out of your mind,i'd go out with mates, smoke, drink, get high, whatever was on the cards.
    We also ( only once because we couldnt afford to do it again ) bought some cheap ceramic plates outta tesco and a perm marker, wrote down something i hated her doing and them trwing the plate as far into the air as a could. the last plate i wroted the word 'relationship' and broke it.

    felt good.

    so my advice is jsut hand with mates, and do something really fun as much as you can.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It just takes time.....

    When I was getting over my ex, I found it just took time....I know that's frustrating, because there's nothing you can *do*, but that's really the best thing!!
    Also - don't fight the way you're feeling, just kind of ride it out - accept it, feel it, and eventually you should be able to move on.
    Also though - spend lots of time with your family and friends, people who think you're great no matter what!!! Always helps...good luck! :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I too am having a hard time with getting over an ex right now. I was with her for 4 years, we broke up, and I got with another girl. After 6 months this girl left me for a guy I barely knew. After a while I got back with my original girlfriend... 2 years later, everything's going great. We get promise rings and I'm sure I want to marry this girl in a couple years. Guess what? She leaves me for the same guy (who just so happens to go to her college) that the other one did. That was about 5 months ago and I'm still trying to deal with the sheer scope of what's happened. The only advice I can give you is to not put your happiness completely in someone else's hands. Life goes on, you'll stop waking up every morning thinking about it instantly, and if you have dreams about it, those will stop too. Stay busy, and figure out what you want to do with your life for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, me and my boyfriend broke up on Monday. It was nothing hurtful - a mutual decision based on him going to University next month, me having a gap year travelling all over the place and then going to another Uni 3/4 hours away from him next year... still, it's hard as hell. We've spent all week talking about it and basically trying to get our heads round it. We started telling people yesterday, are spending the weekend away from each other so we can work on going back to just friends before he goes.

    We're so incredibly close, I'm desperate not to lose him as a friend mostly. Ironically, he's helped me the most in getting through this.

    I suppose patience is important. It's not going to magically get better. I, personally, like to be surrounded by people. Have had problems with eating and sleeping, and have been concentrating on me, which is strange after concentrating on 'us' for so long I guess. It's not just destroying losing him, it's destroying simply losing a 'partner'.

    The sleeping is better. I watch Friends or listen to the radio until I fall asleep. And next week me and my friends (including him) are going camping, which is just perfect. I'm never alone, am concentrating on the basics in life and being 'back to nature' always gives you a magical new perspective. I'm thinking about my gap year a lot, sorta 'reconstructing' my future plans where he is just my friend, not my boyfriend.

    Don't be alone. And don't put on a front. If your friends get sick of you talking about it then find someone who will let you talk about it, even if it's online. Otherwise, you get stuck in your own head.

    Anyway, I'm only a few days into this and this is my first major serious break up. So I shall track my progress.

    And oh, the cliches are true, I've been told. Time really does help and everything happens for a reason.

    Good luck everyone.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers for that..

    6 weeks down the line and i think im finally over her! Ive heard that she's had 2 bf's since me, on and off! slut.

    Spending time with my friends/family really has helped, went on a date with another girl a week ago but that didnt kind of work out, but oh well. im fine at the moment being single, doing what i want to do, and hanging out with my mates! gud gud
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    brad18 wrote:
    Spending time with my friends/family really has helped, went on a date with another girl a week ago but that didnt kind of work out, but oh well. im fine at the moment being single, doing what i want to do, and hanging out with my mates! gud gud

    Yep. Then someone'll roll along and it will work out :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A lot of good advice here. Time does heal the wounds. Can I just add that be nice to yourself. I you want a special treat treat yourself. Also be kind to yourself. Its like bereavment I have been told. It feels like it to. Except there is no burial, no funeral to go to. Just give it time and you will be fine. One day you will wake up and realise that you have not thought about it in a while. Thats when you know you are well on the mend. Stay away from the booze though. Dont add to your problems. SDA.
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