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HELP| I Had Fallen In Love With My Best Friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello everyone,
I joined this forum because I truly am desperate for help.
I have a female best friend for almost 6 months now, We spend
a lot of time together and some say we are really inseparable, She even lived with me
for a while just for fun, We talk about everything and love each other very much.
The problem is I have always been very attracted to her, And now
I am in love with her, I love her more then anything else in my life, but I hardly think she feels the same way about me.
What should I do? Is there any chance she might wake up one day and realize we should be together?
Please help me,
I'm losing my mind
Thanks,
Ted
I joined this forum because I truly am desperate for help.
I have a female best friend for almost 6 months now, We spend
a lot of time together and some say we are really inseparable, She even lived with me
for a while just for fun, We talk about everything and love each other very much.
The problem is I have always been very attracted to her, And now
I am in love with her, I love her more then anything else in my life, but I hardly think she feels the same way about me.
What should I do? Is there any chance she might wake up one day and realize we should be together?
Please help me,
I'm losing my mind
Thanks,
Ted
0
Comments
We can't help the way we feel about someone but it's of course understandable that you don't want to ruin a wonderful friendship by having the feelings you do. It might be a good idea to discuss this with your friend. Friendships are based on honesty and you don't want to keep something as big as this from her. In any case, she might have already guessed or will do soon. It could even be the case that she feels the same way but is too frightened to say anything to you. Waiting to see if she realizes one day probably isn't the best way to go. However, you need to make sure of your feelings first. It certainly seems that you are deeply in love with her. Even if she doesn't feel the same way she may well be flattered by your feelings for her. Take a look at this article. It might help you decide what to do.
If she doesn't feel the same way as you, you shouldn't take it as a personal insult. She obviously loves you as a friend and thinks you a wonderful person. It's just she doesn't want to take things further with you. This article might give you some help if this is the case.
Good luck if you do decide to bring this out in the open. Your relationship with your friend seems very strong and will hopefully survive this whatever happens.
Do what feels right, but be careful.
If your that certain that she doesn't love you too, and will not say it back, then don't say anything at all.
Haha, then he will always have that doubt in his mind. you wont know unless you ask her or tell her that your starting to get feelings for her. Even if the feeling isn't mutual im sure that will not ruin your relationship with her.
Talking from experince, it can get slightly hard.
Yup.
If you really feel that strongly, then maybe flirt in like a really subtle way, and if she picks it up and flirts back then maybe see what happens?
But I'd think really seriously about it, I've fucked up friendships before because things went to the next level, and when it went tits up then it was too late and there was no going back, and the lost friendship hit harder than the lost relationship.
Even a few months ago there's a girl at work that I really did like and we've grown a bit closer lately, but I said to her that I'd far rather have her as a really good mate than an ex, and it's totally cool now :yes:
I knew a girl for about a year, and about 6 months into that year, I realized I was head over heels. I waited, trying to deny how I felt, maybe thinking she would feel the same way eventually on her own. It didn't happen. So I tried distancing my self a little from her, started being more flirty with her, and eventually, told her how I felt.
She felt the same way, except she had liked me for about 8 months. :hyper:
I'm still with her after 13 months, and it's amazing.
So, do as I did, distance, distance, DISTANCE! The friend is always there, make her MISS you. Don't be her best buddy, that always puts you in the friend zone, instead, be her friend, but also tease her, flirt with her, show her maybe you do have a ballsack, and not a vagina.
And eventually, tell her. You very well could lose the friendship, but if you don't tell her, it'll just be a shell of a friendship, when all you really want to do is hold her.
Trust me, I know how it is. :yuck:
i agree but dont visibly distance yourself from her, as in avoid her, just get really busy and hang out with other friends etc, but still be as friendly with her when you see her but just add in some more flirting, if you pull away from her she will know somethings up straight away, just slowly increase your other social engagements so she will miss having you arround and will realise if she has any feelings for you, if she needs your support etc then you still gotta be there for her
That said, can your friendship survive you fancying the pants off her anyway? If you never do anything will you become bitter and resentful of the fact you can't have her? If you don't think it can, you might as well have a punt, as you aren't going to lose anything.
It's better to regret what you did than what you didn't do, but be careful. Don't just sit down and declare your undying love for her, but do become more flirty and see how she reacts.
I would also disagree that being a best friend means you won't ever date her. I'm married to my best friend.