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TOO SHY

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I'm 16 and I've never had a boyfriend (I'm not a lesbian & I've had offers from guys, but not the right ones).
I know it sounds sad, but I've had a lot of bullying in my past and although my mates won't believe it, I've turned out shy and sensitive.
I often have problems making new friends because of this & I've had problems at work. I have no problem reading loud in class or stating my opinion, it's one to one conversations and the phone that I have problems with.
As for boys, all the lads I've liked, I've been too shy to tell. I'm not hideous and I'm not a nasty person, I just lack confidence and care too much about the way people perceive me.
I've started college and I'm having trouble making new friends because I've got different study periods from that of my old friends.
HAS ANYBODY GOT ANY ADVICE? OR AM I A BORN LONER?
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im vshy around certain people, so i know its easier said than done to be confident.
    im shy in a kinda opposite way 2 u, i can generally chat, but i cant read out or voice my opinion, as im scared of, i suppose rejection, or being laughed at.
    as 4 lads, i was quite forward with my ex, but just because i didnt want my cousin getting him(thats a whole different story). i normally just let the lad come to me, im scared of rejection like most i think. dont worry about being shy, as i said on a previous post, i shows ur caring and considerate, if people dont like u 4 who u r then they aint worth knowing in the 1st place.

    in some situations i just say stuff this ans say what i wanna say, and then think, shit, why did i say that, but then its been said and thats it.
    i sometimes also make myself do things, ie, i hate going shoppin on my own, so i made myself do the food shoppin on friday! sounds sad but im gradually boosting my own confidence, i always think people r looking at me and judging me, or laughin at me. but other times i just think sod em. b who u r.
    dont worry
    love helly
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lady liberty I'm exactly like you! I don't mind reading out in class and I get nervous when I talk one to one with someone I don't know. In groups I tend to be quiet.

    I've always been too shy to ask girls out I like, I've never had what you could call a proper relationship with a girl and I got bullied at school as I said in my post about society in the anything goes forum.

    I hate talking on the phone too and I've had to do reception at work a few times. I tend to trip over my words allot. I still lack confidence in certain situations and I also worry about how people perceive me. But now I don't care what people think about me cause I know there are allot of people who like me cause allot of people have asked me how i am regarding the mugging. To hell with the people that don't like me! Thats their problem not mine.

    I think the problem with my confidence is the fact that I'm tall and skinny. When I say skinny I mean 6'5" ish and 9 and a half stone. I got bullied cause obviously I'd stand out in a crowd. I just say, so what I'm skinny. People would die for my height and I know I'm not anorexic cause I eat tonnes of food. I'm only 17 and I know I will but weight on when I stop growing (soon I hope!!!!)

    Lady Liberty, do you have ICQ or yahoo messenger causeI would like to talk to you cause you have so much in common with me the way I am now and in ways i used to be.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lots of people are very shy. I think that its not really a very bad thing, its just something you've got to put up with.

    If your having problems speaking to guys, it could just be something that will go with time. If there's someone who you really like, you could perhaps get a friend to ask him out for you? Whatever happens, good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lady take it from one who knows... i know its not fun but trust me it will get better i was exactly the same (bit of a loner but nothing stays the same) i am still shy inside and when asking girls out but i have come to be more outgoing-- i took advice from others on this site and i am trying my best ---definately the best course of action is to go clubbing and get some alcohol into ya it helps open u up in clubs and that will result in u becoming more open during the day in normal every day situations

    trust me now it does get better it just takes time
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't call myself shy, but sometimes I can close myself up when it come's to doing silly things (esp something like dancing).

    But I got over this by just saying "Fuck'em. Who gives a shit what they think."

    Find yourself some friends you are completely comfortable around and just do stupid things. I found it soon spread to being a lot more open around all people.

    My 2¢
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shyness is mostly caused by people not having enough confidence. You should always remember not to give one shit what people think about what you do or say, and be as wacky or as zany as you like.

    You've only got one life. Don't waste it by letting others put you down.

    Well, thats my opinion anyway.

    Lithium
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