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She's on a bad track.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions about how to help my cousin.
Right, she's 14 nearly 15, and has gone totally mad. She's met this guy the same age as her and because he's her first boyfriend she thinks he's great. The thing is he treats her bad and sort of dominates her.
He's so manipulative and all he has to do is say that he loves her and she'll do anything for him. He smokes pot, drinks a lot, sleeps around - but she doesn't see that its a problem - she thinks he'll change because he keeps promising never to do it again.
He's even trying to get her to have sex with him and has asked her to do various other things for him, which she said she doesn't want to do, but every time he tells her he loves her she feels she has to.
Her best friend is just as bad and tries to influence my cousin.
I know she doesn't want to do this as she's told me, but she can't let him go as she says she loves him. She's tried to once, but he said he was going to kill himself and take an overdose is she leaves him.
I know she's only 14 and it may just be a rebellious stage she's going through as her parents are fairly strict, but its getting to the point where she's not going to get out of it unless she gets out soon.
Can anyone offer any advice because she doesn't see the problem. Last week she told me that he'd told her that sex wasn't that big a deal and that it was just a way of having fun just like drinking.
She is a really great person and the thought of her being treated like shit makes me sick.
Thanks a bunch
Right, she's 14 nearly 15, and has gone totally mad. She's met this guy the same age as her and because he's her first boyfriend she thinks he's great. The thing is he treats her bad and sort of dominates her.
He's so manipulative and all he has to do is say that he loves her and she'll do anything for him. He smokes pot, drinks a lot, sleeps around - but she doesn't see that its a problem - she thinks he'll change because he keeps promising never to do it again.
He's even trying to get her to have sex with him and has asked her to do various other things for him, which she said she doesn't want to do, but every time he tells her he loves her she feels she has to.
Her best friend is just as bad and tries to influence my cousin.
I know she doesn't want to do this as she's told me, but she can't let him go as she says she loves him. She's tried to once, but he said he was going to kill himself and take an overdose is she leaves him.
I know she's only 14 and it may just be a rebellious stage she's going through as her parents are fairly strict, but its getting to the point where she's not going to get out of it unless she gets out soon.
Can anyone offer any advice because she doesn't see the problem. Last week she told me that he'd told her that sex wasn't that big a deal and that it was just a way of having fun just like drinking.
She is a really great person and the thought of her being treated like shit makes me sick.
Thanks a bunch
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Comments
It's really hard when you try to talk to them and help them, but they think they are right. You probably feel helpless, it's a horrible feeling I know.
The only advice I can give you is to let her learn from her own mistakes, and to be there for her when she falls. It's easier said than done, but try not to worry about it because if she's not going to listen you can't do much about it.
Anyway, I really hope it works out for you! XXX
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...
but, when i first shagged, she felf she had to. so on my 18 we went out on a piss up, and she knew i liked a mate from school. anyway, i went with this other lad, but 6 of us ended up at a hotel, and we shared 2 rooms, so my cousin dcided to shag the lad i fancied from school! i could have killed her, but just left it as i couldnt b doin with the hassle.
and when eva i have a boyf, she starts goin out with 1 of his mates or someint. she knew i fancied my ex when i saw him at a club, so i thought right, im gettin in there 1st this time, and so i walked straight up to him and snogged him, and we ended up goin out 4 8wks.
another 1 of my ex's she went out with was a complete wanker, when i went out with him i found out he slashed his wrists cause his ex split up with him, he followed her home once and rammed her car in2 a lamp post when overtaking her, he did it on purpose, so i split from him and he threatened to kick my head in etc etc, she knew all this and still went out with him regardless, but the police had to get involved with her as he sent her letters , and texts sayin he was gonna kill my auntie,and that me and her had messed him about so we had it coming 2 us, he satoutside her house in the early hours of the morning, rang her house continually and hung up. but, the police were phoned and they said they cant do anything unless he actually harms her.
in the end he gave up, but ti was scary, but she loved every minute of it, he also made her have sex, and she just let him. she loved attention, and still does, in the end i gave up tellin her, and now i just listen and let her get on with it. shes now shagged 3 lads in the space of 6 mts, thats slaggy 2 me.
if ur cousin wont listen then she'll just have to learn by making the mistake of lettin her bloke get away with it, she'll probably resent u now, but she'll appreciate ur help in mayb, weeks or even months to come.
try not to give up, but sometimes u cause urself to much stress, i know i did, and i dont regret it.
she has to learn herself.
hope its turns out ok, and she comes to her senses
love helly
We are all just vessels floating through the infinate goo of the universe