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do i dont i?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
theres this lad who i met on my 18th b/day, hes so lovely, i was c-in him 4 a month, then i met this guy and ended up going out with him 4 8wks, the lad i was c-in rang me 1 nite and told me he would wait 4 me till i wanted him.(hes 20) we got friendly again, my mum loves him, hes the perfect gentleman, the only thing wrong with him is hes smokes and hes obcessed with his dick when he dances. my mums pushing me to go out with him, but someint tells me not 2, 1min i wanna b with him, but then i dont. h4es the type u could settle down and marry and have kids. please help some1 needs 2 make my mind up 4 me.this is realy bitchy but sometimes i think i should stick with him as i know hed never cheat or hurt me intentionally, but thats just me being selfish.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Helly, me again, hope u r well.

    OK here goes, hope this is of use (bit tipsy writing this, hope it makes sense).

    So as I understand it, you met this nice guy, who you went out with a month. Then you met this other guy who you saw for 2 months.

    I suppose the first thing to think about is why did you go out with the second guy?

    There must have been some sort of problem or issue with bfriend no1 - If that is the case, then you weren't that happy with him.

    Don't be pressured because your mum likes him or because he is the steady reliable sort that will marry you, provide a mortgage, be a good father, etc etc.

    You only have one crack at life, there is no dress rehearsal - My first wife saw me, as the steady reliable type, we got married at 20. I was divorced at 21, she wanted fun and excitement in her life, she wanted to play the field and left me for someone she thought would provide that.

    So what I am trying to say is that, it is so easy to find yourself in a long term relationship because it is comfortable, he is well mannered, your mum likes him etc, when really you are feeling trapped and stuck. Of course this causes loads of problems later on when you realize this, and break someone's heart when you leave.

    So don't feel pressured into any relationship, remember

    "if it don't feel right, it ain't right".

    This guy seems like a really nice bloke, perhaps you should be looking at him as being a great friend, someone to share your problems with, over time to come - who knows in 10 years or so, when you have "been through the mill a bit", he may well be the right guy for you.

    Listen to your heart, be spontaneous, live your life to the fullest. make as much of it as you can, it soon passes,- Do what u want to do.

    best wishes
    derby

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, by the way, most blokes are obsessed with their dick, its dead important <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmmmm.....Difficuly to advise as writing can't always express preceisly how you feel. The guy seems to be the perfect man. Smokes? Try getting him to stop, just get him to go a whole day without a fag by keeping him occupied. My advice is a jakkuzi thing, or the cimema to see some gripping movies. If he has some imperfections then correct them. Hes shouldn't be too hard.
    Good luck
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