If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
How do you avoid the brother-sister relationship with girls?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Like create attraction instead of brother-sister. How do you avoid it from the start and what do you do later on as well.
0
Comments
But if it's something casual that you want to take further, then just flirt, show her that you like her (don't go OTT), and see where things go.
:yes: these are some interesting and perceptive points. Here's some tips on flirting which you may find useful.
good question. If you know the answer, let me know...
Damn, being an essential part for a girl is one thing...
not getting laid, the other -_-
the super most important thing is: Make yourself rare. She's not going to miss you (missing someone, means feelings), if you are around all the day,... this is what I am doing wrong. I am hanging out too much with them, doing casual things like shopping or bullshit.
There must be some kind of 'tension' like, "omg!! so-and-so calls!!" *locks herself in room, really looking forward for the phone call*
Most definitely :yes:
The problem a LOT of men (and possibly women, although I notice it less with the fairer sex
Of course this doesn't mean that in order to get a girl to see you in a different light you should immediate turn to "bad boy" (or big old bastard) mode or change your personality one little bit. But instead of proudly showing her what a caring, sensitive, unsexy chum you are it's an idea to highlight the devil-may-care, confident and secure in yourself aspects of your personality. A lot of girls love sensitivity in a man, of course, but it has to be tempered with a manly side. After all, that should come naturally to you MEN. Actions speak louder than words, and the sooner you act the less extreme those actions have to be. The longer a woman sees you as a friend the harder it will be for her to see you as anything else... and the harder it will be for you to do a thing about it.
Oooh, it's a tough one. Like sophia said, there's also the chance that she just doesn't fancy you in which case you could move heaven and earth and you're never going to get out of that friend zone. Knowing when it's a lost cause and when there's a chance is something you learn with experience though, definitely (and possibly a little bit of heartbreak).
With many many girls this is a walk on the tightrope. If you try to "break out" of the friends zone, it's very often the case that you got neither her booty nor her friendship anymore. "you have feelings for me? i can't trust you anymore."
bollocks. Women are complicated. We don't have friend and partner zones. If she's good looking, nice and a good friend, we'd like to tap that (except we got a girlfriend for ourselves).
ETA: Lipsy sent me a link ages ago, this might come in handy:
http://www.laddertheory.com/
ETA: If the girl in question is in fact your sister then I'm afraid that type of relationship is unavoidable and i would strongly urge you to ignore my earlier advice!
To add my two pence, there is a large part of me atm that a) is glad I'm just good friends with JD now rather than worrying about what he's doing at clubs, and b) wishes I'd been good friends with him before I even started going out with him, so I could have built up the trust first and not be in this situation at all. There's a lot to be said about being friends first, imo.
You are so wise
Be a mean son of a bitch! And don't call her back. Treat them mean, keep 'em keen.
BTW it takes a long time for a relationship to get to a brother sister thing and you have to be in the friends zone first for that to happen, so i am guessing you are in the friends zone, being double teamed, you can't pass, you can't shoot, you can't dribble, you can't do shit but be a friend...
I am using the basketball analogy coz of your name..
anyway....
However tongue in cheek the comment was, I'd like to point out to the less observant that treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen does NOT work well on any [sane, balanced] female. An element of "meanness" is a good thing but more in the sense that you look out for your own interests and don't immediately bend to their will rather than being a big, bad bastard who makes her cry. Anyone who found mean-spiritedness attractive would be someone I would give a very wide berth, but maybe that's just moi. A bit of aggression is good, but I'd guess most women don't want to actually be able to smell testosterone from ten miles away.
So unless you're into relationships with clingy emotional wrecks I would say try and strike the balance between caring, attentive mr. sensitive and passionate, brooding, mr. roughandready -- as you will undoubtedly create a monster of that variety
See, we women aren't complex creatures at all, are we boys?
See what you done there, babe?
You've put WOMEN and BOYS in the same sentence. What do boys know about women.
Anyway, you tell me how many men of that above description (caring, attentive mr. sensitive and passionate, brooding, mr. roughandready) you actually know or know of?
I would say there's two parts. The first, being flirty and fun and generally not too nice has been covered already. But you've also got to keep advancing the physical side. Hold her hand for the first time, kiss her etc.
It was intentional
None at all, you're dead right that it's a rarity but it can be done. Maybe you can't learn it though, I don't know. I definitely know some men who come closer than others, though, and they're the ones who are most successful when it comes to relationships and accruing gaggles of pining girls to fall at their feet etc. None of them are particularly handsome or intelligent or witty... they just tread the fine line between rough and smooth very, very well.
It's easy to learn...but I guess it depends on the way you are a little too.
I got at least a couple of mates that fit the bill, and including myself, that's 3.
Most of my mates are $unts though....:thumb: