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Paranoia - yes, its been done to death!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
But how can i stop it. I've been finding myself getting increasing more paranoid that the girl is cheating on me but yet shes done absolutely nothing to warrent this mistrust. nothing!

Things were fine a couple of months ago but yet now im like a train wreck of worries when she goes out somewhere, even if she doesnt but im not with her.
I cant explain it either, nothing has changed at all, the only place this problem has come from is me. She hasnt changed in the slightest so why am i being like this? and more importantly, how can i stop being like this?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    But how can i stop it. I've been finding myself getting increasing more paranoid that the girl is cheating on me but yet shes done absolutely nothing to warrent this mistrust. nothing!

    Things were fine a couple of months ago but yet now im like a train wreck of worries when she goes out somewhere, even if she doesnt but im not with her.
    I cant explain it either, nothing has changed at all, the only place this problem has come from is me. She hasnt changed in the slightest so why am i being like this? and more importantly, how can i stop being like this?

    I am not dissimilar to you.

    Try it like that: If she loves you, she won't cheat on you.
    If she does not, she might cheat, and you cannot avoid it.
    Either that, or that. Keep in mind tho, that distrusting her and maybe having arguments with her about that, puts bad influence on how she behaves.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Similar to StrubbleS - there really is no way to control the actions of other people. All you can do is have faith and trust.

    Try your best not to worry about anything that's not actually happened yet. I myself find this hard to do, but I try.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    But how can i stop it. I've been finding myself getting increasing more paranoid that the girl is cheating on me but yet shes done absolutely nothing to warrent this mistrust. nothing!

    Are you sure? Your gut instinct tends to be right more often than not... I'm not suggesting anything, as I know neither of you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there is usually a reason why you feel the way that you do, even if it is totally irrational. it doesn't necessarily mean she has done anything; it could be self esteem issues or anything really. my advice is to try and think what it was which started you off thinking she was cheating, - there must have been something?! - try and rationalize it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    But how can i stop it. I've been finding myself getting increasing more paranoid that the girl is cheating on me but yet shes done absolutely nothing to warrent this mistrust. nothing!

    Things were fine a couple of months ago but yet now im like a train wreck of worries when she goes out somewhere, even if she doesnt but im not with her.
    I cant explain it either, nothing has changed at all, the only place this problem has come from is me. She hasnt changed in the slightest so why am i being like this? and more importantly, how can i stop being like this?

    I have the same thing from time to time.
    It was initially bought about by the fact I fell in love with my girlfriend and if she did cheat on me then it would be serious now.
    My ex also cheated with a guy from work, so work things with my current girl can set me off.
    Also if we have times when we just aren't as close and affectionate in the realationship, maybe we don't see each other for a while, or there's a dry patch with regards to sex, she hasn't cuddled me or told me she loves me for a while etc. That can sometimes lead to me worrying.

    I haven't worked out how to get over it or deal with it. Sometimes I talk to her about it which can help but most of the time I keep it to myself as i'm sure she doesn't want to think she's going out with an un-trusting neurotic wreck.

    Generally though, talking helps, try talking to mates, or on here. And also keeping yourself busy to take your mind off things. That can help too.
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