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1 year is supposed to be a good thing...I thought...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all...
Well, things have been going pretty good, till about 2 days ago...
Basically, my girl has been kind of pissy lately, and I was asking her why, and probing for answers, which I figured would be something along the lines of, "I've been stressed lately", or something...I got something totally different...
She said that the excitement was kinda gone in the relationship, and that lately she's just been contemplating alot. Like, since it's now a year, she's thinking what it'd be like without me, and she says she thinks she loves me, but is just trying to think things over to make sure she isn't just making up in her mind what she -wants- to have, and lying to me and herself. She also said that I never put my arms around her, and do things that a boyfriend does. She feels like she, "doesn't even have a boyfriend." At the time we first talked about it, it more came out as, "I'm not sure if I am still in it." basically, and it killed so much...but we talked about it more, and she said it didn't really come out right...
Her saying the excitement was gone seriously made me think of quite a few things I've stopped, just somehow got out of the habit of doing...and I admit it's definitely my fault... but like, since then, I've been trying to do what I stopped doing, and it's made me realize how much I care for her. I think I kinda started to take things for granted, and I know I love her now. (At Times I questioned it, but now I almost can't.)
That was 2 days ago, and I've been trying really hard, and it's seems better, but it's -really- eating me up inside. I feel like everytime she is quiet, she's thinking if she wants to be with me or not. I think we'll be alright, but it's hurting so bad that she might doubt our relationship. (Unfortunately, I'm the type that is an all or nothing type, either she loves me, or she doesn't.)
I guess this isn't a request for relationship assistance, more as it is a request for help in dealing with this feeling of insecurity. Normally I am pretty secure, but like, since this has gone on, I've nearly cried all the time since. (And I DON'T CRY! EVER!)
Thanks.. :nervous:
Well, things have been going pretty good, till about 2 days ago...
Basically, my girl has been kind of pissy lately, and I was asking her why, and probing for answers, which I figured would be something along the lines of, "I've been stressed lately", or something...I got something totally different...
She said that the excitement was kinda gone in the relationship, and that lately she's just been contemplating alot. Like, since it's now a year, she's thinking what it'd be like without me, and she says she thinks she loves me, but is just trying to think things over to make sure she isn't just making up in her mind what she -wants- to have, and lying to me and herself. She also said that I never put my arms around her, and do things that a boyfriend does. She feels like she, "doesn't even have a boyfriend." At the time we first talked about it, it more came out as, "I'm not sure if I am still in it." basically, and it killed so much...but we talked about it more, and she said it didn't really come out right...
Her saying the excitement was gone seriously made me think of quite a few things I've stopped, just somehow got out of the habit of doing...and I admit it's definitely my fault... but like, since then, I've been trying to do what I stopped doing, and it's made me realize how much I care for her. I think I kinda started to take things for granted, and I know I love her now. (At Times I questioned it, but now I almost can't.)
That was 2 days ago, and I've been trying really hard, and it's seems better, but it's -really- eating me up inside. I feel like everytime she is quiet, she's thinking if she wants to be with me or not. I think we'll be alright, but it's hurting so bad that she might doubt our relationship. (Unfortunately, I'm the type that is an all or nothing type, either she loves me, or she doesn't.)
I guess this isn't a request for relationship assistance, more as it is a request for help in dealing with this feeling of insecurity. Normally I am pretty secure, but like, since this has gone on, I've nearly cried all the time since. (And I DON'T CRY! EVER!)
Thanks.. :nervous:
0
Comments
Whenever I hear this kind of thing it's a warning bell. But I think the issue is her not you. She's confused about her feelings, I don't see why you should instantly wait on her hand and foot to try and save the relationship. It takes two to tango anyway.
So yea, obviously if there are problems in the relationship you both need to work to sort them out, but from what she said she didn't seem to lay the blame on anything specifically, just saying she was stressed, not sure f she felt the same, things arent as clsoe as they used to be... it doesn't paint a pretty picture.
All the same, best of luck and I hope things work out for you.
Our relationship is very open for communication, so I am not surprised she told me how she was feeling, and I've always told her to.
There's definitely water to what she said about me not doing things as I used to, and I feel really bad about it. Though, I'm worried that's not the only thing wrong...
Although, things do seem to be looking up, last night, before she went to sleep, she sent me a message just saying that she loves me, which is something she hasn't done for a bit...
I hope things get back to normal, I'm thinking this is all for the best. I mean, at times, I've thought about if I'm really in love with her or not, and now, I'm pretty damn sure. I really think this is more a wake-up call for me, and that I really need to treat her the way I used to, a way that said "I love You."
I'm sure there will updates, but hopefully, good ones... :rolleyes:
What a lot of people forget is that a lot of relationships that work really well are based on a concious choice. Day by day they choose to do things that are acts of love for the other person. It's not all about that spark.