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How do I live with it?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I wrote this today and didn't really know what to do with it. It's the most honest thing I've ever written and I know some of you will find it humourous indeed, and think 'What a soft piece of shite....'
Well, all I can say to you is, call it soft if you want - but I didn't get a conscience through having an soft childhood.
I am not just ranting here - I need answers... and here's my first question:


How do I live with it?


I feel very strongly about all the injustices taking place around the word.
I feel even worse about the attitude of those not involved directly.
I am not clinically depressed, but I find the world depressing. What I read and see in the news, what I understand about politics – the corruption, the callousness …
There is violence everywhere and I'm sick of it.

Recently I've not wanted to do much else but think about the crisis in the middle east. I'm not anti-Semite, nor anti-US – I'm anti-nazi – and I see nazism rearing its fuck ugly head in the form of corporate warfare.
The frustration comes in not having a voice. I can march, I can write to my MP, I can sign petitions – but I can't actually DO anything about it.
You're probably thinking – what a fucking idealist – but I don't dream of a peaceful world – I only dream of people working together to try and make peace.
What the hell's wrong with that?

In the last few weeks I've been called (to my face) a "Loony Leftie" a "P*ki-lover" and a "Commie."
If I express concern for Lebanon and Palestine – I'm a Jew-hater
If I express concern for the civilians in Iraq - I'm a traitor

Knowing that propaganda has made it so, incenses me. When did it become unfashionable to care? Who decided to make it unfashional? Does anyone really care about children anymore? Here in Britain people go "OOH AAAHHH" every time a kid does something violent- like chop the ear off another kid, or try to set fire to them – but what do adults expect? We see children dying every day on our televisions – crushed under concrete, burned by chemical weapons, mutilated bodies that we've come to accept as 'the norm' – we see that the life of a child is no longer precious – even to our own Government

I've realised today how much it's all getting to me.
I no longer want to eat.
I can't sleep (at the most I get 4 hours in 24).
I've started drinking and smoking more.
I've been cutting again (superficial cuts on my arms, mostly - I don't consider it any big deal and its certainly not an unusual way for people to deal with their shit)
I've stuck my answer-machine on and don't bother calling people back.
More and more I am starting to believe that EVIL is winning over GOOD.

I don't know why I've come here to say these things…and to be honest today, I don't care. What happened in Lebanon over the weekend seems to have taken all the fight out of me and for the first time ever I've rung work to say I'm not going in, and don't know when I'll be back – with no excuses.

I keep searching the internet for any sign of hope – but all I read about are politicians doing nothing about the thousands who are suffering.
When is somebody going to stand up and shout "ENOUGH!!!" ?
Where are the heroes we need today? Hidden under a celebrity obsessed, media market – that's where.
And those who say nothing? Who turn a blind eye to what's happening? Cowards.

I'm not sick – I'm just sick of injustice.

How do I learn to live with it? I've been hurt in the past and I understand the hopelessness of those forgotten thousands still suffering in Gaza, Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan and dozens of other war torn areas in the world.
While the rich get richer – the poor die in their thousands.
And white fellas like me, have to live with the guilt – or be guilty of racism.

I hate what we (Britain) are doing to Muslims around the word, and also what we're doing to our own country. Shame on Blair for hitching us to the US Imperialist wagon. Shame on me for not having the guts to fly out to Gaza and start taking pictures of the atrocity of Israel's war on peace.

How do I learn to live with it? – Without desensitising – without lying to myself? – Without taking drugs (legit ones) to numb myself to other's suffering?
For fuck sake, can someone please tell me?

************************************************************

A word to the Boss : If you think this shouldn't be here, fair enough – bin it or stick it somewhere else. (Although I'd rather you binned it, than put it on the political site)> Thanks for reading it.

Murdock

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Murdoch
    I don't think you're being soft at all... you obviously deeply and passionately care about people and human rights, which can only be a good quality. I'm really sorry it's taken it's toll so much that you're feeling so personally low about it and resorting to drink, smoking and cutting as coping mechanisms.

    What's strange about your post is that you actually suggest some good and positive actions you COULD take - ok, it may seem small and insignificant if you write to your MP, campain etc, but it's got to be better than sitting getting so worked up hasn't it? There are loads of organisations you could join to make your voice heard - do some voluntary work, start your own campaign or petition... it won't put a stop to it, but it WILL help you to get your voice heard and put pressure on the people in power.

    Or... go one step further and join a youth org like British Youth Council of Youth Parliament - these kind of groups are desperate for people as passionate as you to get involved.

    Take a look over in our politics forum, too. It should show you that many other young people do indeed care a lot about the issues you talk about - maybe you need to talk over your views and opinions more with likeminded people, to feel that you're getting things off your chest? Sometimes it can be really depressing looking around at all the bad stuff going on in the world but there are positive things you can do about it... give it a try ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are you sure there is nothing personal behind your cutting, rather than just world problems at large?! i would say if its making you feel so crap and like you want to self harm all the time, it would probably be best for you not to listen to the news at all and just concentrate on looking after yourself for a bit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As you might have guessed, I was pretty pissed when I wrote the first post - although I don't regret doing so.
    I know how nuts it all sounds - so thanks for being willing to reply
    Spanner and Otter.

    I must admit that everything seems bloody hopeless to me.
    I did go on marches - but the BBC didn't cover them
    I did sign petitions - but Tony's not listening
    I did write to my MP - but he's new labour - and as much a bush-licker as Blair.

    What gets me is its all so predictable...

    Bush is after Iran

    We all know it - but who can stop him? It's easier to believe he's doing the right thing than to accept that he isn't - and there's nothing we can do about it.
    And when revenge comes - you can bet your life it'll be innocent victims who end up paying for Blair and Bush's war crimes.
    Frustration? You bet.

    As for me - Otter, you ask if there's a personal reason? Well yes there is.
    I am a human
    These bastards are killing other humans - mostly children
    I take that personally.

    No one helped me when I was a kid being fostered by lunatics and when I see kids being terrorised and slaughtered by US bombs delivered to Israel via Scotland, I understand why.
    No body gives a fuck. Adults don't give a fuck. If they honestly believed we have a duty to protect innocent children, why hasn't the US stopped delivering it's bombs to Israel? Why hasn't Blair stood up and declared Britain outraged?
    Why hasn't the British public stood up with the rest of us and marched for peace? Are they too cowardly or too blind?
    Either way, reality is starting to hit me.
    My God, I live in a country of fucking sheep.

    What is the point?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually i totally agree with you and have the same thoughts and problems myself. At the end of the day, we're all inhabitants of one planet, we are a species. So we live in different countries and have different colour skin, so what? It just means we were born on a different piece of land, a global scale of being born at one end of a street to another, with skin colour to help us live in that environment.
    The real trouble with our world isn't the people the news says it is, it's the respective powers that be in a capitalist society where they'll do anything and stop at nothing to make a profit
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    These things are important in the long run but aren't things you can expect to change in a lifetime. Not even one nevermind them all. Yeh do your part, get involved, be active but don't dwell on them all the time, as harsh as it seems, there are more important things in life to worry about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks staxx

    I'm marching on Saturday in London
    http://www.stopwar.org.uk/index.htm
    Maybe see you there.

    Right now, I'm totally knackered - haven't slept much at all the last few days. I sometimes write stuff down to try and understand why I feel the way I do, - but finding it hard.

    I realise I've been shutting myself off more and more - even going on the march is going to be tough for me this time.
    I feel like I don't want to be near other people, and it's not just the coppers sticking their cameras in your face - it's the desperation of the masses - the grief that's flying about - the anger.

    Tony Ben, 80 years old and still trying to save his country after four years.
    It's a fucking tragedy.

    By the way I managed to put off cutting for a while - by thrashing my guitar instead. It's steel strung and believe me, I can get a fair bit of agony out of it!:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi turlough

    I apprechiate what you're saying but I don't think there is anything as important as trying to stop the esculation of war in the Middle East today.
    Not for me, anyway.

    If that's a bit sorry - what can I say?

    Take a look at this?
    http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article14273.htm
    (Don't look if the sight of dead kids and traumatised redcross workers gets to you)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Murdock wrote:
    I apprechiate what you're saying but I don't think there is anything as important as trying to stop the esculation of war in the Middle East today.
    Not for me, anyway.


    to be honest i think you are wrong, there are plenty more prevalent problems that can be solved in the world today, and should be before the one you talk about

    let them shoot each other in the middle east i say, doesnt matter how hard we try, when they announce a cease fire, the violence will start again sooner or later

    i personally want to dedicate my time to a problem and its subsequent solution, that i can actually effect, and that i will see benefits from, rather than see my efforts and hopes evaporate into a dessert midst of confusion in the middle east
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Murdock wrote:
    thanks staxx

    I'm marching on Saturday in London
    http://www.stopwar.org.uk/index.htm
    Maybe see you there.

    Right now, I'm totally knackered - haven't slept much at all the last few days. I sometimes write stuff down to try and understand why I feel the way I do, - but finding it hard.

    I realise I've been shutting myself off more and more - even going on the march is going to be tough for me this time.
    I feel like I don't want to be near other people, and it's not just the coppers sticking their cameras in your face - it's the desperation of the masses - the grief that's flying about - the anger.

    Tony Ben, 80 years old and still trying to save his country after four years.
    It's a fucking tragedy.

    By the way I managed to put off cutting for a while - by thrashing my guitar instead. It's steel strung and believe me, I can get a fair bit of agony out of it!:)

    Nice to see you're getting involved. Personally i don't do the marches, although it's good to see everyone rallying together it's like they've become too 'normal' now and they don't have the impact, i think it's pretty clear the government sure as hell isn't going to take any notice of them. I try and help by just spreading information and actually showing people the truth instead of the media bias bullshit. I think the main problem we have with all these matters is lack of knowledge and lack of people with that knowledge, how can we make a difference if we don't know there's a problem? So i just try and 'teach' people, and then they'll pass that information on and it becomes a chain, and we end up with more people caring and more people willing to learn and make a difference. Maybe one day we'll have a revolution. I doubt it, but i think something will be done one day, once people realsie we're being raped by the powers every day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a bad world we live in. Power corrupts.

    You're right Murdock, but sadly there's nothing u can do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi guys
    After much deliberation, I've decided to close this thread - not because I want to stifle what you're saying, but because it isn't really a discussion about health anymore.
    There are plenty of threads in politics and debate forum where you can carry on your discussion, check these out:

    Anti-war protest thread

    Israel refuse...

    FAO those who think Israel's actions have been justified & proportioned

    Or even start a new one of your choice in politics forum if you'd rather!

    Murdoch, I'm sorry to close your thread, but feel free to start another if you want to talk more generally about your health/emotions.

    Cheers guys
This discussion has been closed.