Long-Distance relationships.

Former Member · August 2000

Does anyone think that long-distance relationships can work, is it right to move away from home just to be with them, Come one give me your ideas.

Former Member · August 2000

Long-distance relationships are really hard to preserve! I live abroad, go out a lot and about 90% of my relationships ended 'cos he left or I had to go. You have to be really dedicated and love that person to be faithful to him/her when he's far away. If you ask me, it's mega hard. Just too many temptations around. Though if I really loved someone, I'd go anywhere for him.

Former Member · August 2000

I don't reckon long-distance relationships work. I've tried and failed twice. But I was in a position of trying to get to know the girl from a far. If you know him/her well then it could work.

Former Member · August 2000

Sorry to be another negative postee, but I have also tried and failed several times with LDR's. However, I am sure that there are people out there with success stories!

As for moving to be with them: you have to ask yourslef 2 questions:

1) Are they worth it (i.e. what do you feel for them)

2) Would you miss and could you afford to miss everything that you would give up - both now and over the long-term?

Good luck

Regards

Alan London

Former Member · August 2000

My uncle Pete (not a real uncle, but a friend of my parents) has a transatlantic relationship that lasts already four years or so. But then he can afford to fly there a few times a year for a holiday and has several business trips a year to the States.

I guess that makes it easier (and he tells me that the sex is absolutely scorching hot ...

[This message has been edited by sarah21 (edited 12-08-2000).]

Former Member · August 2000

i've tried it & i found it 2 hard! it lasted a few months but i only saw him twice! i don't thing long distance relationships work at all!

Former Member · August 2000

No!

U must all be wrong!
this isn't fair.
my boyfriend is going to uni soon.
it's not 2 far away and we r dtermined 2 make it work.
obviously i am scared out of my mind. not that he will cheat or anything. but that i will miss him so much.
isn't there anyone out there who can say something reassuring 2 me?
please.
i love him loads.

Former Member · August 2000

I'm in exactly the same position as you hazeymaryjane. My gf and I desperately want it to work when she goes to uni - but I've got my doubts sadly. I think it will be far to easy for her to forget about me and move on with her new life. We'll see... I hoping for the best <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Love from the ChunkyMonkey

Former Member · August 2000

Long distances don't work no matter how hard u try. if ya think it's worth moving to them then do it, but it's a big step n u have to be 100%

Former Member · August 2000

Been there...

The first month is not too bad as all these phone calls, letters and tears are really romantic. But if you don't have that really special bond between you two, you'll soon start forgetting each other.
My ex-boyfriend and I nearly cried our eyes out when he was going away for a month (only 30 days that is!) By the time he returned I met someone much more appealing than him and it was over. Sad but true.

Former Member · August 2000

NO!

not true. not true.

it WILL work

and i aren't just being naive

i KNOW.

Former Member · August 2000

I think basically it is a bad idea, now! I kept in touch with her for ages through text messaging and phoning her but at a recent party I had my phone was stolen with all her details on it, so now there is no way of getting in touch with her because i think she thinks I'm pissed off at her for some reason or other. F-U-C-K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Former Member · September 2000

u r all wrong

Former Member · September 2000

HMJ

Your relationship will work if you both want it to. When bf goes to uni, give it time to readjust and settle down. It's very important, though, to keep an open mind and accept that things change. Our environment acts like a stimulus. Change the enviro and you change the stimulus, and that may lead to you going seperate ways. Perhaps in your mind you need to find the balance between hope and realism.

Good luck

Blade

ps: If your bf get's a 1:1 at uni, he's not drinking enough

Former Member · September 2000

I had a seven year relationship with a guy (I met him when I was 15 and he was 19). He went to uni 1 year into our relationship and we stayed together for the four years of his degree. I was faithful and I think he was too.

I dumped him a couple of years after he graduated because he turned into a mean, manipulative bastard that resorted to physical violence in an argument.

I nipped it in the bud and shortly afterwards fell in love with someone else. We have been together ever since and now have a beautiful little girl together.

Anyway, what I am saying is that long distance relationships can work if both parties are willing enough to make it happen.

My long distance relationship ended not because of the distance but because the guy became an ass-hole.

Former Member · September 2000

I had the same problem!!!! And guess what its workin!! He might stay 413miles away from me but it is!!! It actually brings you closer 2getha in a way!!!

Former Member · September 2000

i think long distance relationships do work!!! im in one now! he lives only about 25 miles away from me but he still has to get the train and the boat over to see me and likewise!!! it really does depend whether you like him/her enough to spend the amount of money on them it costs!!! i have been with my b/f only 1 month and 3 days and i get to see him every weekend which is cool!

Former Member · September 2000

yeah but i my ex and i lived 30 miles apart, and 4 the 1st month and a bit we were 'in love' and spared no cost 2 c each other, he even drove over 2 c me 4 20mins b 4 i went 2 work! (bless). but once the lovey dovie ness has calmed down then there seems 2 b excuses made. we split due to the distance, and he is a footballer so hes either training or playing all the time, and i was busy etc, so its hard and the distance is the major problem, which i think can never b worked around. may b i'll b proved wrong, i dont know, but i havent seen 1 last in the 18yrs ive bin on this earth!
dont mean to put a downer on things, urs may last, and i hope it does.
stay happy
love ya love helly
ps how old r u if u dont mind me askin?

Former Member · September 2000

Well as helly put it hope it works out...

tonight my GF just decided to take a break, just so happens that it had become a long distance relationship. I started going out with her last winter and now she is in UNI. and I'm still working on my prerec's for the computer science course I'm going to. no matter how many times it happens to me it still hurts like a biatch every time

Why does it always seem to happen to the nice guys?

Former Member · October 2000

Conclusion to this subject; They don't work I've had to break it off because she lives too far away, although in my heart i will always love her, i felt it best for us to see other people.

Live life, get drunk, you only live once, so who cares if you can't remember half of it?

Former Member · October 2000

From experience, they work out if you have a time when you know you'll get to be together again. And as long as you don't idealize the relationship which I think tends to happen.

Former Member · October 2000

Well, in my opinion, long distance relationships may work under the following circumstances: a)if the two persons know each other well enough and b)if they are good at communication (of feelings and thoughts).
Let me elaborate a bit: a relationship is something you build, layer by layer. If a relationship does not have a strong foundation and the two persons suddenly need to live apart, then, well, the relationship is left wobbling. The thing is that you need the other person in your life, next to you or near by in order to build a relationship. However, if the two persons know each other well enough, I think the relationship has a chance. Moreover, if the two persons are communicative, they can create a communication bridge to fill in the distance between them. This would suggest that they write or e-mail to each other regularly, sharing their thougths and feelings, their everyday lives, their worlds with each other. That would be the only way to make it work.
I once tried to sustain a long distance relationship but I did not know the guy very well and he was not communicative at all. For a communication bridge to be built it needs two people...let's just say that our "relationship" ended soon.

Former Member · October 2000

"Out of sight, out of mind".

I tried a long distance relationship with my German girlfriend. Of course, it didn't work.

Former Member · October 2000

Yep i reckon it could work as long as the 2 of you are realy dedicated to each other because if you are not then......well do i need to say it, the mind will wander.

Stay in touch with each other and visit reguarley
Keep the desire up with pics vids and mystery.

Go 4 it

W_G

Girl-From-Mars · October 2000

I am in a long distance relationship, and have been for 15 months. we met on the internet and got to know each other for a couple of months, met up as friends, met up again and things developed from there when we realised we felt more for each other than friendship. he lives 180 miles away from me, and its expensive, we have to see each other around every week or two weeks or we'll go insane, but its about £35 per train ticket. and if you dont trust each other theres always the chance of jealousy, or betrayal, or feeling left out of his life. i dont really know any of his friends, apart from one who is also going out with one of my friends, who met for real when we introduced them at the same time me and my boyf met. there have been some issues like him not ringing, and not making as much effort as he used to.. we talk on the internet usually, and text messages during the day and see each other almost every weekend and at holidays. i think they can work if you have the determination to MAKE it work, and if you trust each other and love each other enough. and if you can make the effort to communicate, like someone said before, and if you think they're worth spending all your time/money on. im hoping to go to the same uni as him next year.. if we stay together that would be great, but he'll always be my friend and my first love so i hope we'll stay in touch, even if we do change and go our separate ways. parents can be a problem... well not necessarily, but they coud be funny about you sleeping in same room when you stay with each other. havent had that prob, its pros unrelated to distance at the mo. hope ive been of some help to those worried about long distance relationships. sorry if i dont sound too positive right now! but i do believe they can work. just ignore my depressed mood!!!

Take care all,
GFM

Long-Distance relationships.

Comments