If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Getting back together with an ex - success stories?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all
I was just wondering if anyone here has got back with an ex - particularly one who broke up the relationship in the first place - and made it work second time around. Most of the stories I've heard have been pretty negative - the same problems will still come up, you can't trust them, it falls apart again almost immediately etc etc - so I just wanted to know if anyone here can disprove the rule. As you may be able to guess...I'm considering taking my ex back but am not sure it's the right move, so just trying to weigh up pros and cons and get other peoples' perspectives.
Cheers all
I was just wondering if anyone here has got back with an ex - particularly one who broke up the relationship in the first place - and made it work second time around. Most of the stories I've heard have been pretty negative - the same problems will still come up, you can't trust them, it falls apart again almost immediately etc etc - so I just wanted to know if anyone here can disprove the rule. As you may be able to guess...I'm considering taking my ex back but am not sure it's the right move, so just trying to weigh up pros and cons and get other peoples' perspectives.
Cheers all
0
Comments
It was a long time apart which gave us time to experience stuff and grow up alot. I think thats whats helped us. Usually if you're only apart a short time before getting back together it doesn't work.
Now, 4 years later, we get on better than we used to, we're both far m,ore grown up, and he's left the army so I can see him as much as I want!
My ex boyfriend is in the army as well, and we're young (17/18), and we broke up. Hope our story ends like yours has though because I wish he was back home again and we were back together
That's kind of pointless isn't it? If all you want to do is get some kind of confirmation that it's ok to take back an ex, you may as well just do it and find out for yourself. Clearly you must want to.
I think the point is, you always hear stories about how getting back with exes never works. Presumably she wants to hear any positive stories that are out there to see whether it can work out. If no-one has a positive story to tell, chances are there's no point her trying it again. But as you can see from this thread, although there are people who had to post their negative experiences despite the OP asking for only positive stories, it doesn't always have to end in tears. Depends on the reason you broke up in the first place, I think, and like Ballerina said, how long you've been apart for.
:yes:
it can work if you originally broke up just because of circumstance. Say if you went to different unis, or the army thing, or something neither of you could help.
If you broke up because of something one of you did, or was or said, then I'd steer well clear.
But do you think, if people do, are, or say something that ends up ruining a relationship, they can't change? Maybe the shock of losing something they care about could stop them ever doing it to you again....I don't know, I'm just wondering
btw, thankyou!
I'm sure some people can and do change, but a hell of a lot of people don't, not fundamentally, and personally I'd rather move forwards than move back.
Depending what they'd done, I'd just rather not even be with someone I knew had the capacity in them to hurt me.
Anyway, thanks to you all for posting. I wasn't looking for confirmation that it's "ok" to take back an ex - Wildchild pretty much summed up why I posted and what the results were telling me. I was just feeling very mixed up and wondered if I was being totally ridiculous in even considering it, and your posts helped me see I wasn't. As it happens though, I've decided against taking him back, at least for the time being. I do believe that if it's meant to be, we'll get back together - but for now, it wouldn't be the right thing for either of us because I wouldn't feel secure with him and I think he needs some time on his own to make sure it's definitely what he wants (and not just the knee-jerk reaction to being suddenly single I believe it could be). So thanks again to all of you who posted, I appreciated it and did take your experiences on board.
I don't care what people say, anything is possible when you set your mind to something and believe. A lot of people say, oh they can't get back together, not after what he or she has done, I'm sick of hearing logics speak their mind without the open mind of any possibility, all things are possible, mircales have happened and unexplainable events have taken place before our very own eyes, what makes getting back with an ex anymore impossible? Keep believing, but still live your life
I cant say Im not enjoying talking to her again,its been really good to clear the air after the shitty way things happened between us,plus I realise Ive grown up a fair bit more since then (I hope anyway) but..........while I think I have changed personally,she hasnt.
One of the main issues and problems I had was the fact she slept around loads and was always telling me about her exes and what they got upto,and one of her issues (and her families too actually) was the fact I used to sniff,smoke and pop drugs.
Ive been clean for over 2 years now,apart from a few spliffs here and there,but we were talking the other night and she was telling me how "bad" she was the last 2 years.....which means one thing really.
Now,Im not judgemental but Im personally not like that,sleeping around a lot probably because Im not a guy who can sleep with a lot of women (not for want of course,maybe Im jealous of her) but for me,knowing shes still doing her thing and hasnt changed I know theres no point us getting together again.
My mate said to me once,that you can fix a broken vase but the cracks will still always be there.
My opinion is that you break up with people for a reason and usually that same reason is why you stay broken up.
(If you are wondering...we did get back together and stayed together for another 2 years including living together for some of that time...but have been split up now for nearly 2 years after a very amicable and friendly split. So I guess it both worked and didn't work after all that!)
My boyfriend ended it out of the blue for no apparent reason and I want him back.
I am seeing him next week and hoping that he remembers how much he is letting go but if not friends it is. We are in uni and living together next year so we have no choice really. But I guess by going I have nothing to lose
Your story, although it didn't work out fully, gave me some hope. For me, there was never a problem anyway and his reason makes me think he is unsure. Hence my belief he may change his mind.
im the same as you mate my ex has slept with more people then ive had sunday dinners lol i still talk to her now and again she tells me whats happened and she hasnt changed
i think ive changed ive grown up ive stop going with her bout 4 years now
we broke up cuase there was no trust and she cheated so now that i know what she like i wouldnt go back with her
btw its a good saying lol