If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Parents not liking boyfriend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right...I've been with my boyfriend for about 10 months and we're very close. I'm at university however he's not a student. This doesn't bother me at all, even though some of my friends have been judgemental because he's a carpenter and is from a very working class background.
I'm really happy with him but the problem is my parents..they just can't seem to accept him. They gave it a chance but they've decided they're just not happy with the situation. If I'm honest, I can see where they're coming from..people always tell me I'm way out of his league (although I couldn't care less about 'leagues'), and I'm the first to admit he's not the sharpest tool in the box. My parents say I deserve someone who is more mentally stimulating and shares a more similar background. I understand they're on completely different levels and are never really gonna get on.
However, we have a right laugh together, he makes me happy and is really kind to me, and there's still loads of passion in the relationship. I can't really imagine breaking up with him at the moment because I still fancy him so much. It's hard because although my parents say they don't mind me going out with him (as long as it's 'nothing too serious'), it kind of makes me feel guilty. I'd just rather they were happy with my choice of boyfriend, but realistically that's not gonna happen in this case.
Just wondering if anyone else has been in a situaton where their parents don't like their boyfriend / girlfriend and have you done anything about it?
At 22, should I be going out with who I want or keeping my parents happy?
I'm really happy with him but the problem is my parents..they just can't seem to accept him. They gave it a chance but they've decided they're just not happy with the situation. If I'm honest, I can see where they're coming from..people always tell me I'm way out of his league (although I couldn't care less about 'leagues'), and I'm the first to admit he's not the sharpest tool in the box. My parents say I deserve someone who is more mentally stimulating and shares a more similar background. I understand they're on completely different levels and are never really gonna get on.
However, we have a right laugh together, he makes me happy and is really kind to me, and there's still loads of passion in the relationship. I can't really imagine breaking up with him at the moment because I still fancy him so much. It's hard because although my parents say they don't mind me going out with him (as long as it's 'nothing too serious'), it kind of makes me feel guilty. I'd just rather they were happy with my choice of boyfriend, but realistically that's not gonna happen in this case.
Just wondering if anyone else has been in a situaton where their parents don't like their boyfriend / girlfriend and have you done anything about it?
At 22, should I be going out with who I want or keeping my parents happy?
0
Comments
Yes it happenbds, probably happended to loads, only things t do is tell them you don't care what they think or him and ignore if they moan about it...
at 22 you should do whatever you want, you should please yourself first and not you parents...
If it works he will get credit for sticking by you. If it doesn't, well, they told you so.
I wouldn't give a fig what they think, tbh.
But the guy was a lil full on and moved a bit fast for my parents liking and in the end my friends who hadn't even met him also weren't too keen on him from what I had told them about him. So I ended up breaking up with him and it was really hard, he wouldn't let me go and still 4 months down the track he now has a new gf but he still loves me and it's making htings hard for his new gf.
I was trying to please everyone, my bf, my family, my friends, but I just couldn't do it. So I say do what your heart tells you and do what makes you happy. It doesn't matter if he's not the sharpest tool in the box, or he's not the kind of guy people would expect you to be with - if he makes you happy then why not continue it.
on the other hand, in case you two stay together for the rest of your life, be sure that that "difference" will make a lot of problems in bought of your lifes... on job, with friends, with family...
but, if you do love him and if he loves you, fuck all that and live together happily to the end of your days... :yippe: :yes:
you must keep one thougt in ur mind all the time; he is the man by whom you are going to wake up every morning. not by your parents, of friends! he's the man who will share your happines and sorrow in the way your parents and friends couldn't ever do.... so, what-a-hell they have to grumble!
get your man, girl! :wave:
My brother started dating a woman a few years older and most of us here at home were quite sceptical about it. She's very nice and my family gets along with her well even if it may not be our first choice. However, it's ultimately his life and if she's the one that makes him happy then who are we to interfere? They're now expecting their first kid and my mum is getting very excited.
I think most parents have some ideas what kind of a partner they would like their kids to be with, it may take them a while to realise their kids isn't always thinking the same.
If memory serves me that guy that plays Joey in friends is a trainned carpenter as well as Harisson Ford
What a person does for a living doesn't have to be the be all and end all of what defines them as a person.
Bring home a well educated Bank robber and see what your parents would say then!!
however, one of my friends has been with this guy for over a year now - and no one likes him at all, not even her parents. He's manipulative and controlling and basically a child. He moans about her behind her back for stupid things. All her friends have told her the same thing - but does she listen? Course not. Sad story really.
But anyway - thats a good reason. In your case people are just being snobby.
In some respects theyre right, its good to have someone who is your equal intelligence or not far off it, and maybe theyre worried about that long-term, but thats not everything in a relationship, and if you love each other, and have a connection, then thats the most important thing of all.
Yeah I think as I'm really happy with him at the moment, I'm just gonna let it be and ignore my parents. They're just kind of not mentioning the issue now, kind of acting ignorant that I'm even going out with him!
For the moment, I'm very happy and I think the stability and strength of the relationship is good for me at this time as I'm going into my final year of uni.
Deep down, I do think maybe we're not quite on the same level and in the long-term, it could cause problems..in that sense, maybe when I finish uni it'll be a natural progression.
It's just kind of upsetting because I don't like to be with someone, knowing that it's going to end at some point. I think if you're in a perfect relationship, you just want it to go on forever (even though it usually cracks). I think I just need to get over that, and get over my parent's view, and enjoy the relationship in the here & now, and if it does carry on, then so be it.
Another thing is, he talks alot about 'the future', he wants to live together, and he really does seem to think i'm 'the one'. I don't deny that I have such strong feelings for him too but I just don't like to think that far ahead (cos of the reasons above), nor do I want to cause him any heartbreak.
Maybe when he talks about the 'future' you should tell him that making plans too far in the future is not your cup of tea. No need to tell him that you're not sure if you will be still together.
I'm not saying lie, just phrase it differently.