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Long Rambling Post!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I apologize at the length of this post... but I feel like I can't tell it to anyone else... and been as I don't know any of you, and hopefully none of you know me in real life, I figured why not post it here 
Here we go... It all started about 9 weeks ago. I was speaking to girl I had liked for about a year or so and she told me she fancied someone. I did the trying to pretend I'm not hurt thing of trying to guess who it was. I named all the men we both knew and then said oh well I don't know..In the end I found out she liked me, so naturally I told her straight back I'd liked her for a while.
At the time she had a boyfriend, but before we knew we both liked each other, she had already been thinking about leaving him. He was acusing her of sleeping around, only went round for sex and then left, etc. So we went out with our friends together, went to the pub and ended off going for a walk through the park alone.
For 2 or 3 weeks she was still with her boyfriend, but with me. She promised she didn't sleep with him, and I trust her on that, but still when they were together there was only one thing I could do to take my mind off it. Go for a drive. So every Thursday night when they were meant to meet, me and a mate went for a quick drive. It cleared my head and allowed me to spend time with my mates (was too busy concentrating on the road, watching for speed cameras and having a good time to care who she was with or what she was doing... in a nice way though).
After a few weeks she told me she was going to end it with him. I was obviously pleased, but tried to hide it.. pretending it didn't matter to me whether she was his girlfriend or not, I just wanted to be with her in anyway I could. She told me she knew this but was going to break up with him so her and I could become "Official".
She texted alot of people the night we started going out, but missing out one important person. Her best-friend. I say he is important because he fancies her aswell, this doesn't bother me, but the fact she'll bitch about him being so clingy... then hug him everytime she sees him does annoy me a bit. It's like she'll give him mixed signals sometimes, although I have to admit she has tried to tell him a few times, but he just changes subject soon as he heard what was coming.
She has now told him that me and her are together, although she was drunk at the time so I don't know whether she actually meant too or not.
That is us up to last week.
Now the major problems begin.
She has been on the pill for 4 years (Microgynon 30) without taking a break (cept for the periods). She has always taken the pill on time whilst we've been together, etc. I had little sexual experience before and so had she, so we figured been as she didn't like condoms, it'd be safe to go ahead without them. Without going into detail we did it... alot.
In the last week though she has been complaining of breast ache and feeling sick randomly through the day. I tried getting her to go to the doctors to make sure she ok (after reading that prolonged pill usage can increase risk of breast cancer), but she refuses. Saturday night (whilst I was enjoying the football), I noticed a serious look on her face and asked her what was wrong. She told me she thinks she might be pregnant.
Obviously I was shocked, being naive and thinking the pill worked 100% and nothing else would be needed. I asked how long before she'd know, and she said if she continues taking the pill she's due in 3 weeks, if she stopped taking it, she'd find out next week. I asked her to stop taking it so we can find out sooner if she is or isn't, but she said she'd prefer to wait the three weeks.
I haven't told her this, but the thought of having a baby has got me really stressed and depressed, but at the same time happy. I do love this girl and would love to be with her for the rest of our lives, but we're only 18. We had both planned to go to Uni, etc, and I hate to say it, but if she's pregnant it limits our options if we're to stay together for the baby.
We had a quick discussion about "What if", and I told her the truth. I would stay with her and I would try and get a better paying job so I could support them, but I would also try and stay at college. I won't leave her because she's pregnant, because that's just wrong. We had a brief talk about abortion, but it was brief... it was more of a "We'll talk about if I am", rather than a yes or no.
I feel bad for hoping it's a illness rather than a pregnancy. I love her, but I don't think I could handle being a dad just yet. I want to enjoy my life for a bit longer before it becomes too serious. I also feel fairly bad for not trusting her 100% on the issue... before we go together, we played a joke on friends at college claiming she was pregnant. Now after we have a talk in which I explain how what I looked forward too most about growing older was having kids, my own house and taking my sons to the football, she goes and tells me she might pregnant.
To be honest, I don't know what to do. I want to be a man and support her if she is... I want to get a job and make sure her and the baby get everything they want in life, but at the same time I know my parents will be disappointed, and thats the thing I hate doing in life, disappoint my mum.
When she went home after telling me, I joked to myself that a nice simple solution if she was would be to kill myself. It'd be easier for me as I wouldn't have to worry about disappointing my mum etc. At first it was only a joke, but now its getting closer and closer to becoming real.
I just wish she'd send me a text saying something like "honey, I'm sorry but I'm not pregnant, I was just doing it to see how serious you are about us".
Bah... just as life was starting to go well.
Sorry for the long, rambling post, but I needed to get it off my mind
Here we go... It all started about 9 weeks ago. I was speaking to girl I had liked for about a year or so and she told me she fancied someone. I did the trying to pretend I'm not hurt thing of trying to guess who it was. I named all the men we both knew and then said oh well I don't know..In the end I found out she liked me, so naturally I told her straight back I'd liked her for a while.
At the time she had a boyfriend, but before we knew we both liked each other, she had already been thinking about leaving him. He was acusing her of sleeping around, only went round for sex and then left, etc. So we went out with our friends together, went to the pub and ended off going for a walk through the park alone.
For 2 or 3 weeks she was still with her boyfriend, but with me. She promised she didn't sleep with him, and I trust her on that, but still when they were together there was only one thing I could do to take my mind off it. Go for a drive. So every Thursday night when they were meant to meet, me and a mate went for a quick drive. It cleared my head and allowed me to spend time with my mates (was too busy concentrating on the road, watching for speed cameras and having a good time to care who she was with or what she was doing... in a nice way though).
After a few weeks she told me she was going to end it with him. I was obviously pleased, but tried to hide it.. pretending it didn't matter to me whether she was his girlfriend or not, I just wanted to be with her in anyway I could. She told me she knew this but was going to break up with him so her and I could become "Official".
She texted alot of people the night we started going out, but missing out one important person. Her best-friend. I say he is important because he fancies her aswell, this doesn't bother me, but the fact she'll bitch about him being so clingy... then hug him everytime she sees him does annoy me a bit. It's like she'll give him mixed signals sometimes, although I have to admit she has tried to tell him a few times, but he just changes subject soon as he heard what was coming.
She has now told him that me and her are together, although she was drunk at the time so I don't know whether she actually meant too or not.
That is us up to last week.
Now the major problems begin.
She has been on the pill for 4 years (Microgynon 30) without taking a break (cept for the periods). She has always taken the pill on time whilst we've been together, etc. I had little sexual experience before and so had she, so we figured been as she didn't like condoms, it'd be safe to go ahead without them. Without going into detail we did it... alot.
In the last week though she has been complaining of breast ache and feeling sick randomly through the day. I tried getting her to go to the doctors to make sure she ok (after reading that prolonged pill usage can increase risk of breast cancer), but she refuses. Saturday night (whilst I was enjoying the football), I noticed a serious look on her face and asked her what was wrong. She told me she thinks she might be pregnant.
Obviously I was shocked, being naive and thinking the pill worked 100% and nothing else would be needed. I asked how long before she'd know, and she said if she continues taking the pill she's due in 3 weeks, if she stopped taking it, she'd find out next week. I asked her to stop taking it so we can find out sooner if she is or isn't, but she said she'd prefer to wait the three weeks.
I haven't told her this, but the thought of having a baby has got me really stressed and depressed, but at the same time happy. I do love this girl and would love to be with her for the rest of our lives, but we're only 18. We had both planned to go to Uni, etc, and I hate to say it, but if she's pregnant it limits our options if we're to stay together for the baby.
We had a quick discussion about "What if", and I told her the truth. I would stay with her and I would try and get a better paying job so I could support them, but I would also try and stay at college. I won't leave her because she's pregnant, because that's just wrong. We had a brief talk about abortion, but it was brief... it was more of a "We'll talk about if I am", rather than a yes or no.
I feel bad for hoping it's a illness rather than a pregnancy. I love her, but I don't think I could handle being a dad just yet. I want to enjoy my life for a bit longer before it becomes too serious. I also feel fairly bad for not trusting her 100% on the issue... before we go together, we played a joke on friends at college claiming she was pregnant. Now after we have a talk in which I explain how what I looked forward too most about growing older was having kids, my own house and taking my sons to the football, she goes and tells me she might pregnant.
To be honest, I don't know what to do. I want to be a man and support her if she is... I want to get a job and make sure her and the baby get everything they want in life, but at the same time I know my parents will be disappointed, and thats the thing I hate doing in life, disappoint my mum.
When she went home after telling me, I joked to myself that a nice simple solution if she was would be to kill myself. It'd be easier for me as I wouldn't have to worry about disappointing my mum etc. At first it was only a joke, but now its getting closer and closer to becoming real.
I just wish she'd send me a text saying something like "honey, I'm sorry but I'm not pregnant, I was just doing it to see how serious you are about us".
Bah... just as life was starting to go well.
Sorry for the long, rambling post, but I needed to get it off my mind
0
Comments
Jaysus.
Then you two can seriously "talk". Doesn't sound like she's too bothered if she wants to wait 3 weeks to see if she's pregnant. :rolleyes:
See why I'm starting to think it might all just be a test? (and hoping)
That'd make it better?! It'd just prove she was a lying, manipulating bitch!
:yes: and that you shouldn't be with her...
So she should definitely do a test, or go to the doctor for a blood test (HCG shows up earlier in blood than in urine, so there's no way it'll be too early for that). Go and buy her a test yourself if she won't buy one, you deserve to know one way or the other. You can even buy strip ones online that are a lot cheaper than shop ones and really easy to use, eg. here: http://www.thenewyou.net/leftnav/strips.htm
Don't stress about it until you know one way or the other, it's not doing you any good at all. Only when you know for sure that she is pregnant can you do any constructive thinking about the future - at the moment, the word "if" is hanging too much in front of your eyes. The pill is only 98% effective even when used correctly (no missed pills, stomach bugs, etc), and sore breasts and nausea are common early pregnancy symptoms, so she could be pregnant... but then again, she could be bluffing. You won't know until she tests.
I just wanted to add that maybe she's putting off testing because she's scared to know for sure in case she is pregnant? Even if you suspect it, seeing that second line on the test, removing all doubt, means you have no choice but to face up to the fact that it's happening. But you need to explain to her that it's really important to find out as soon as possible, because ok you get nine months until the baby's born, but the first 12 weeks of pregnancy are crucial in terms of development. That's when the embryo develops all its organs and limbs - after that it's all fine-tuning and getting bigger. So looking after yourself as well as possible in the first 12 weeks is very important, to give the baby the best chance of being healthy!
Let us know what happens.
Now if only I knew for sure which way I wanted it to go... lol