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Infatuation or real feelings

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
How can you tell the difference between having an infatuation with someone and genuinely liking them? I think I've recently started delevoping feelings for one of my friends, but I'm not sure whether it is real or not.

I often get quite into people after having experiences with them, and it does often turn out that I didn't like them quite as much as I originally thought after all. But with this one I just really want to be near her. The weird thing is that I didn't even used to think I liked her at all. Then we kissed and it all felt different.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well it can be hard to tell sometimes esp. at 1st. But time is alwatys the best test. If your feeling fade after a while then it isn't really feelings. But if you are spending time together and you find yourself in the same state then chances are they are real feelings. I knew about my feeling for my boyfriend when I couldn't stop thinking about him even he when he was a jerk or being really strange at the moment
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infatuation can mean real feelings too, no?

    Don't think there's a need to put a title on it. If you like them and get butterflies and stuff, then it's all good I reckon :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But surely you could just find out that you didn't like them as much as you thought you did?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doolally wrote:
    But surely you could just find out that you didn't like them as much as you thought you did?

    Course you can, but you shouldn't let that hold you back if you think you like them now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say infatuation is more like a crush. You can have a crush on someone after hanging out with them a few times. I don't think you can have a crush on a close friend, because crushes are about the excitement of getting to know someone new, about thinking about what the other person is like, about making up the things you don't know. Feelings are something that develop over time. I would personally say that if it's a friend you're talking about, then it's more likely to be genuine feelings, because you already know all of their ins and outs (as it were).

    The other possibility is that you could be taking comfort in someone you know cares about you, which could occur if it seems like no-one of the opposite sex likes you, or you've just split with a girlfriend, or any other situation where you might be feeling sorry for yourself. If this is the case, then make sure you're brutally honest with yourself and cut it out, because you'd never want to hurt your friend if you think she might have genuine feelings for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    granted infatuation is a real and powerful feeling but I have found it doesn't last esp. when subjected to the many issues and realzation that occur within a serious relationship
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    Course you can, but you shouldn't let that hold you back if you think you like them now.
    Very wise advice :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doolally wrote:
    How can you tell the difference between having an infatuation with someone and genuinely liking them? I think I've recently started delevoping feelings for one of my friends, but I'm not sure whether it is real or not.
    Wish I knew the answer to this :(
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