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Don't know what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi, I'm new here, but was hoping someone might be able to give me some advice..
Basically I broke up with my girlfriend of over 3 years about a week ago. I did it for a number of reasons, mainly because I'm going off to uni in september and don't like the idea of a long-distance thing and also I was starting to feel a bit trapped and the idea of settling down at the age of 20 was scary I guess (it didn't help that she was a bit obbsessive and often went on about marriage and stuff).
I was convinced I was doing the right thing and to be honest I felt nothing but excitement at being single again straight afterwards. The thing is it's now been a week suddenly everything hit me and now I'm feeling really down. It came from the thought of her being with other people, it really makes me feel physically sick thinking about it. It also doesn't help that one of our mates was trying to make me feel less guilty about finishing it told me that she was seems fine about it and is basically happy (I thought she'd be moping about still.)
I know it sounds terrible (I'm basically saying I wish she was devestated) but I can't help it. As this was my first long term relationship I have no idea how I should feel or how to get over it, so if anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shit happens. You've said it yourself you dont want to settle down yet and a long distance thing wouldnt work (which imo it wouldnt) sure it will hurt you're only just starting to grieve your relationship. maybe things will hit her soon as well or maybe all that talk of marriage and the like was because shes just a bit immature and wanted to seem grown up? who knows. things are over now though so you'll just have to move forward.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like u wanted her to stick around and still be there for you even tho u weren;t together anymore.....maybe that is why your so sad, b/c u relaized you can't have the best of everything
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    basically, you're off to uni, you're going to have to sacrafice a few things but is there any reason why you cannot remain friends?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was in the same situation (my relationship was 1 year and 8 months and that was hard so I can't imagine how hard it is for you). Yes it does hit you badly after the initial rush of excitement, but the best thing you can do is keep remembering the reasons why you broke up, you had a great time with her but it wouldn't have lasted with you going to uni and everything, you needed to get out of it or it would have driven you insane and eventually you'd have been looking at other women e.t.c. You need to remember that it was time to call it quits and now you've done that, although it seems hard, you need to accept that you have done the right thing. Still stay friends with her, but go out to some parties or clubs and talk to other women...you never know what may be round the corner...
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