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Am I stupid?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
not sure if this goes in this forum but its the closest which I could get it, anyway last year my cat got knocked down and died, he was only twelve months old. It sounds stupid but he was my best friend and I could talk to him about anything and he couldn't answer back. When he died it felt like a part of me went as well (i no im stupid because he was only a cat). I stopped eating and drinking for about a week and a half then my parents were forcing me to. Its just came up to the anniversary of his death and im feeling really down again, its only been a year but a day hasn't gone by when i haven't thought about him. I got another cat a few months back but it isn't the same but he has many characteristics which my other cat had and it makes me really upset when he does them. The thing im trying to get at is im i being stupid because he was only a cat?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no i dont think you are at all, you will be upset when you loose anything you love weither it is an object, animal or a person. You just need to find somwhere else or someone else you can air your thoughts and problems with. Most people on here are friendly and good with advice so maybe give us a try, hope you are ok :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i havent really got any other things which i can think about because my life is in a huge muddle at the minute and i don't no where i stand in any of it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think its sad, no

    I get very attached to my pets. I would be completely devestated if my favourite cat died, or my dog, or my ferret.

    You just need to concentrate on the fact that all things have to die some day.

    A few months back my 18 year old cat died, he was ace, and soo old and ill and well at least he's at peace now :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    has anyone else close to you ever died?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, not at all. I felt exactly the way you did about the family dog. When he died I cried for ages and felt so lost without him. I mean, I'm the type of person who doesn't cry at funerals and I cried over the dog more that I cried at my grandparent's funerals.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes sum1 close 2 me has died
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww, that's not stupid at all. I had my dog since I was 5 and he died last year. I know exactly what you mean about losing a part of you and it is like losing a little mate/one of the family. A pet can show you unconditional love anytime of the day and he was always the first one to greet me when I walked through the door. It still feels weird not hearing his paws scrabbling across the laminate flooring.

    The worst is when you dream about them and you wake up and realise it's just a dream. I still miss him from time to time as anyone who had a pet they loved would understand.. but it does get easier.

    I've never had any of my close family die yet, but I'm a bit worried when it does happen.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its not stupid at all its really normal to miss a pet when they die
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your family probably knows how you feel, but maybe they just dont know what to do to help.

    Have you tried telling them that you miss your cat, and that maybe you could do with a break (a family trip to the park or something).

    Talking to family about being unhappy is very hard, but you could try to say it in otherways that people close to you could pick up on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its grief and you will get over it provided you let yourself.
    if you keep telling yourself you are stupid for feeling and grieving the pain will never go away.
    just accept how you feel, and you'll begin to move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel for you, you obviously really loved your cat and for some people [myself included] their relationship with a pet can be extremely close and the grief they feel upon the animal's death can be surprisingly powerful. I know I'll be inconsolable when our dog dies, but you do have to accept death as a part of life. Give time and headspace to the happy memories and thinking about your cat that died, but also look forward and try and enjoy playing with your new cat and developing a relationship with it. The fact that the new cat reminds you of the old probably seems like a dreadful thing, but it might help you get through it and you could come to love it as dearly as your old cat I'm sure. If you just try and let go of the sadness you feel a little, or as much as you can.

    I can definitely imagine around the anniversary you'd feel down, especially if you didn't really allow yourself to accept your grief and work through it - as otter said. I don't really know what else to say, except that my heart really does go out to you, and I hope you start to feel sunnier again soon :)
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